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Rhythm Is a Dancer
May 7, 2008 - 8:42am — Katie Liederman
In her 1985 hit "Conga," Gloria Estefan sang: "Everybody, gather 'round now/let your body feel the heat/Don't you worry if you can't dance/let the music move your feet."
Last summer, I became fast friends with Sophia, a 21-year-old intern who came to work with me at GO Magazine. Freshly graduated from some tiny lesbionic college in New Hampshire or something, she had the hair of a Stroke and the baby-stoner appeal of that dykey-looking kid who played the freshman in Dazed and Confused. She had recently embraced her long-suppressed butch identity and was eager to shower the femmes who made her acquaintance with chivalrous gestures. Bags were carried, doors were opened, drinks were bought. She was hot and cool, and a lot of fun. Young as hell, but whatever. I'm no ageist.
Upon further investigation, and after several awkward make-out sessions, we came to the following conclusion: we are the exact same person. I mean, I wear heels and she wears a dick, but still, in essence, we are each other. She's neurotic and cranky and supremely high-strung, much like myself. She also likes to dance. A lot.
So, obviously, she and I spent the summer dancing like fiends: while waiting in line at Papaya King, in the elevator at work, at Best Buy when prowling for American Idol Encore for Play Station 3 (best game ever), up and down GO's big gay float at Pride. If she was there and I was there and there was music, there would be dancing. And it would be fun.
Now, Sophia is an amazing dancer. I'm continually underwhelmed by my own dancing abilities. Still, I thought it was the type of thing that only I noticed. "Quit being so self-conscious!" I told myself. As a kid, I watched Fame and Flashdance and Footloose and assumed that it was a given that all grown-ups knew how to dance. Had I simply thought to watch my mother or father get down at family functions, this conviction would have been discarded. (To this day, my mom still rocks the Twist. My dad opts to simply pump his fist in the air to a beat that's in no way related to the song playing.) Either way, at 12, I took ballet classes. In college, I took an African dance class (embarrassing). After graduating, I took private breakdancing lessons from a guy named Tic Toc for almost a year. And recently, I spent close to a month trying to master the moves in Merengue Mania!, an instructional DVD I bought at Target.
Fame.
Until recently, I couldn't have agreed more. Who cares if your moves blow? Just have a good time! That's what counts. I firmly believed this. Then one drunken comment from a prick friend of mine changed my mind, hard.
Last summer, I became fast friends with Sophia, a 21-year-old intern who came to work with me at GO Magazine. Freshly graduated from some tiny lesbionic college in New Hampshire or something, she had the hair of a Stroke and the baby-stoner appeal of that dykey-looking kid who played the freshman in Dazed and Confused. She had recently embraced her long-suppressed butch identity and was eager to shower the femmes who made her acquaintance with chivalrous gestures. Bags were carried, doors were opened, drinks were bought. She was hot and cool, and a lot of fun. Young as hell, but whatever. I'm no ageist.
Upon further investigation, and after several awkward make-out sessions, we came to the following conclusion: we are the exact same person. I mean, I wear heels and she wears a dick, but still, in essence, we are each other. She's neurotic and cranky and supremely high-strung, much like myself. She also likes to dance. A lot.
So, obviously, she and I spent the summer dancing like fiends: while waiting in line at Papaya King, in the elevator at work, at Best Buy when prowling for American Idol Encore for Play Station 3 (best game ever), up and down GO's big gay float at Pride. If she was there and I was there and there was music, there would be dancing. And it would be fun.
Now, Sophia is an amazing dancer. I'm continually underwhelmed by my own dancing abilities. Still, I thought it was the type of thing that only I noticed. "Quit being so self-conscious!" I told myself. As a kid, I watched Fame and Flashdance and Footloose and assumed that it was a given that all grown-ups knew how to dance. Had I simply thought to watch my mother or father get down at family functions, this conviction would have been discarded. (To this day, my mom still rocks the Twist. My dad opts to simply pump his fist in the air to a beat that's in no way related to the song playing.) Either way, at 12, I took ballet classes. In college, I took an African dance class (embarrassing). After graduating, I took private breakdancing lessons from a guy named Tic Toc for almost a year. And recently, I spent close to a month trying to master the moves in Merengue Mania!, an instructional DVD I bought at Target.
Fame.
Then, last week, I found myself in the midst of a conversation with Sophia and a couple of other friends. "I don't know if I buy the whole 'good-on-the-dance-floor means you're good-in-bed thing,'" I said. "I've seen plenty of good dancers who sucked at sex, and vice versa. Plus, I'm kind of a bad dancer, and I'd like to think that I'm not that bad in bed."
"You're a REALLY bad dancer!" Sophia replied. "Like, really bad!"
So much for my free-spirited approach to the topic. I would never dance again. "Thanks, asshole," I said. "I'm never gonna dance again."
"Wait!" she said, catching herself in her hideousness. "Not BAD, per se. But, you're not, like, an expert. Katie, I swear, don't worry about it. You're really fun to dance with."
Nice save. NOT. I told her that she had ruined dancing for me forever. I hadn't cut ballet classes for a solid year at the age of 12 to eat pizza with my best friend for nothing. I hadn't stumbled through that African dance class in college stoned or been mocked by a top-notch choreographer or Latin danced with an imaginary partner for an instructional DVD for the hell of it. I had done these things, and more, to be at least a passably decent dancer. Did small groups of people gather 'round and chant my name whenever it was time for a no-holds-barred dance party? No. Did people often compliment my sweet moves? No. When I asked a person to dance at a club if they'd seen me dance before, did they ever say yes? No. But that's not my point. I thought I just wasn't outrageously bad. Turns out, I was wrong. I haven't danced since. Did she ruin me forever? I hope not.
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63 Comments
*gives you flowers*
i loved this blog...it made me feel like im not the only one who cant dance..ehehe..
P.S. there is a good friend of mine..who makes u dizzy with her dancing..BUTTT..shes bad in bed..*sigh..LMAO
xoxo
do what you do
Just keep on dancing!
the thing is
if you have time to blog about your friends, you have time to see them. put up or shut up. meaning, see you later i hope.
okay
if i'm hanging out with my friends, i'm not blogging. about them or anything else for that matter. and i have deadlines to meet, mama.
come visit me at work if you want it so bad. wanna?
Come and dance with me Katie
Come and dance with me Katie !
I love to dance :)
No ones a "bad dancer" per se, its all about perception. Or thats what I like to tell myself. Haha.
try moving in water to music...
like deep water.
the fluidity of the water will affect your natural rhythm...
it'll lull your body and allow you to practice flowing "with" the music, rather than moving "to" the music.
you'll feel more in sync. and no matter how you move upon leaving the water--it'll seem like a natural extension of the music.
perhaps it has something to do with the similarity in the pattern of motion of water and sound....they both move in waves.
or Katie could also try the
or Katie could also try the next Columbia travel in space for bilionnaire : so she could moove into zero gravity space and if the moon (not Grace ) is full, we could all see her show the night from the earth ;-))
water works...
in releasing the undulating rhythm....one dances like a dragon. those eighties classics don't lie.
First off
Katie, I love your blogs, bad dancing definitely sheds no reflection on your writing skills.
But like most everyone else here I’d like to encourage you to keep dancing. I don’t have a post-dancing strap-on story to tell (and it’s been done eloquently the other day), but I can say I have been on the dance floor many a time and it’s really for me a great way to just let go and exercise myself, some occasions it could escalate to explosive jumps to the rhythm, accidentally coming down on someone’s foot, or on the way up catching someone’s forehead with an elbow. Ooops, so sorry…but you know, every time this has occurred, the person I contuse, manages to keep dancing.
The point here is, whether it’s a physical or verbal blow, it hurts…all you got to do Katie is just suck it up and keep dancing, I’ve seen it, it really works.
if you never dance again...
i'll beat her up.
actually, not. she's pretty cool. but in all fairness i think you need to consult additional sources before forever defining yourself as the stationary, foot tapping, (fist pumping?), nightlife editor/celesbian/blogger/bartender extraordinaire. After hearing some additional feedback, you're more than justified in forming your new immobile identity. but until then, come on, fucking dance.
on dancing
me: go dance with her!
you: she smells.
i am the worst dancer in the
i am the worst dancer in the world.
okay
i fucking love you. that's the best comment i've ever gotten.
Tell her to find another
Tell her to find another dance partner... you should dance.
I'd just be happy with a girl who would dance with me, I can't seem to find any!
namaste
Just Dance
If dancing makes you happy... then dance. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
For me, dancing is a way of expressing my love for the music. It's a very personal thing. My advice to anyone who is offended by the way I move... don't look.
No, she didn't ruin you
... at all.
I like very much your "portraits au vitriol" (could we translate it into "vitriolic portraits"?).
Always tough and funny. But really tough. So, really funny.
I don't want to meet this Sophia.
And I am sure that you are going to dance with no guilt, you have friends. And, after all, you "wear heels and she wears a dick", that's much sexier and higher, however you move.
I never understood
dancing.....though I do like to watch...lol
"I mean, I wear heels and she wears a dick", okay that made me choke on my Cornflakes......you are too funny girl!
N!k
who cares?
Just dance! You only live once. No one's gonna remember you as, "Katie: her two left feet always made for a good laugh"
Well, even if they do, at least you had fun doing it, ahhaa.
It's better than "Katie: She lived in fear of having fun on the dance floor and not caring about making an ass of herself".
I can't dance, and neither can a few of my friends, but we do it a lot anyway. Plus, it's no fun if everyone dances "good" or the same. Variety is exciting, no?
=)
speak for yourself
""Katie: her two left feet always made for a good laugh""
i will. and that's about it. not the blogs. not the tits. not the weave. it's the lame ass dancing skills. what a failure.
dance
don't listen to her. she is insane. you should always dance. even if you might be bad keep dancing, there is nothing wrong with having fun. I dunno i may suck at dancing, but i dance my heart out every chance i get. just feel the music and forget what she said.
Too Funny
That Elaine dance had me rolling she just knew she was doing something...
Sweet Fancy Moses
Here's a link to a video showing Elaine's Dance and George's reaction:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5xi4O1yi6b0
Cracks me up.
Love it, thanks!
Nothing but love
Tex
Dance is life
When your body follows the music and your mind is not there anymore, when nothing else than the music makes you move like that, your stress go out and your face reflects a smile that you can't keep hidden anymore.
No doubt, dance is life!
Anyone remember The Elaine Dance From Seinfeld?
I'm not quite that bad.
http://elainedance.ytmnd.com/
Your friend,
Rusty
[lesbian humor; what a concept]
+ + + + + + + +
"Do you think dyslexic people have difficulty dancing to 'Y.M.C.A.'? ~Dave Sokolowski
Pssst...
Look back a little ways... ;)
Great minds...
Ha, I just saw your comment
Like I said, I'm not quite that bad.
Your friend,
Rusty
[lesbian humor; what a concept]
+ + + + + + + +
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
A Spastic J-Lo
Based on my skin color, dancing prowess is supposed to be in my genes. But it must have skipped a generation or something, because I have always been a bad dancer. I lack the rhythm gene. Don't get wrong, I can do a line dance (cupid shuffle, electric slide, etc). But when it comes to dancing freestyle, I've been told that I look like "a spastic J-Lo," on account of my big ass. Ouch. But it's never stopped me from taking my big ass out on the dance floor, and I'd encourage you to do the same because it's just too much fun to give up...and I am damn good in bed- at least that stereotype is true :)
Mango's on South Beach
Katie, the next time I go to Miami I'm gonna invite you too - we'll go to Mango's and dance all night! I promise - you'll love it!.........especially after two or three of those blue test tube drinks!
Nothing but love
Tex
what a little shit
Isnt it amazing how one person is able to crush another person with just words? And bring doubt in ones self?
We have all been through it and will continue to go through it until we stand up and say, "bitch/asshole, shut the f@^# up".
Like the good old saying goes, "If your not going to say something good, dont say nothing at all". People should start living by that saying.
K, Go back onto the dance floor and have a ball! In the end, shes simply just a little shit. Flush her away.
Well,
all I have to say is that I'm not a great dancer either. Though, it still happens that I'm out dancing at least 4 nights a week with friends. They never tell me I'm good, and they also never tell me I'm bad. So I just shake what my mama didn't give me, like I haven't a care in the world. So what if it was because of the 4th tequila shot that had slyly slipped down my throat, I go out and have a good time! If someone told me I was really bad I'd just tell them to fuck off and go join a professional dance troop and stop ruining my fun! I say get back out on the dancefloor.
Be careful with the dance moves...
Katie--as a femme to a femme, it might be a *good* thing to have less than fabulous dance moves.
Back in 1995 (yes I"m aging myself)--I was hit on by the hottest Cuban butch ever. Once we were in her bed, she told me the reason she hit on me was b/c she loved the way I gyrated my hips on the dance floor.
Then she rolled over, put her hand under her bed and pulled out a hand-tooled leather strap-on she had whipped up in her spare time.
I got excited. Until she said to me, "And so, because I saw how great you worked your hips on the dance floor, I was wondering if you could put on this dick and fuck me like you are dancing on the dance floor."
Enough said. Ever since that situation, I"ve been careful not to be *too* overtly fabulous on the dance floor.
HAHAHAH!
I just peed myself!
xo
ew
gross! you'd think people would know who fag play is and is not attractive to. or at least feel it out for a minute before busting out a harness!
it's like if a butch picked you up at a bar and in the cab ride back to her/your house, you said, "guess what? I'm wearing a soft pack. reach up under my skirt. touch it!"
Ew.
I just threw up in my mouth
I just threw up in my mouth a little
p.s.
I'll be back in the hood in early June. I'd like to have a dance date on the dance floor with you...
Ew Squared.
You are SO right, Katie. Not cool, unless ofcourse you *are* into fag play, which is great...but only if that's what you're into.
For crap's sake, Katie
Thanks for mapping out MY nightmare: "guess what? I'm wearing a soft pack. reach up under my skirt. touch it!"
Your friend,
Rusty
[lesbian humor; what a concept]
+ + + + + + + +
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
I'm trying to imagine the
I'm trying to imagine the precise look of horror and despair on Tami's face if I were to do that to her. Wait for it... wait for it. Oh yeah, there is is.
HA HA HAAA! BWAhahaHA!
Christ, I'm having a good
Christ, I'm having a good laugh at your blogs. A great mix of self-deprecation and irreverence... adding a comment would spoil it. Thanks for the giggles. xx
you did add a comment though
did it spoil it? and no, thank you.
(Shaking head.) More
(Shaking head.) More embarrassing than leaving a comment that says, "...adding a comment would spoil it," is discovering that you're actually reading these things. xx
go at it from a different angle
try belly dancing. it's such a different style that being bad at other kinds of dance doesn't necessarily mean you'll be bad at it. it's also really hottt. ;-) oh, and i agree with the other posts, dancing is about having fun, so if you find it fun, why let one person's opinion stop you?
If you deny any affinity with another person or kind of person, if you declare them to be wholly different from yourself, you have, in fact, alienated yourself...~Le Guin
So what...
If you are passionate about dancing then I say ignore what she said and just go for it! Don't let that stop you from doing what you love doing!!
WELL...that is unless you happen to dance like Elaine from Seinfeld... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xi4O1yi6b0
Then perhaps you'll want to pull back, but just a little... lol ;)
Hehehe
I thought about the Elaine-dance the whole time I was reading this blog.
------------------------------------------------
"Was Mary F**king Poppins not available?" --Bette Porter
Ha!!
=)))
I second that!! =)) I always got a kick out of Elaine's dancing! =))) Priceless!
D.
..
Apparently I'm not a bad dancer, even started a dance band thingy in uni, but I don't really like dancing anymore. I dance only if i really, really have to or if I'm really pissd (practically never =D ).
On the other hand, if you're having fun, I don't think it's anyone's business to judge how you dance like. It's not like you're in "Dancing with the stars" or whatever that show's called.
Dana
lol
she probably is dancing with stars considering her lesbian A (D?) list of hook ups... and again, hooking up despite herself.
=)))
LMAO! =))
Somehow I'd like to see Katie in a show like that! =)) Dunno about potential partners, tho. =)) Any ideas? :))
D.
hang on 15 minutes
and let me get famous... :)