OurChart's Bloggers
Our Favorite Sites
Tips?
thehookup@ourchart.com
Room Service
May 22, 2008 - 9:21am — Cassie Pappas
[The L Word's Season 6 writers' assistant Cassie Pappas will be joining us every Thursday with tales from the writers' room. Cassie is a stand-up comic and playwright living in Los Angeles.]
Lesbian Adjacent
Straight Plus
M to F
Top & Bottom
Apartment listing in West Hollywood or a new character on The L Word? That’s one secret I’ll never tell…
Five women sit around a table eating rice chips, contemplating the apropos location for a torrid public sex scene. Welcome to The L Word writers’ room. A world where sex meets soy and hybrid plus NPR plus yoga equals morning ritual.
Come on. Who are we kidding? Let’s pop the bubble on the sensationalized The L Word writers’ mystique and get to the good stuff, shall we? (Holding out hand.) Nobody puts baby in the corner. Follow me.
We walk up a spiral staircase of a Hollywood loft and into the writers’ room. I deliver a double decaf, iced, skim latte to a writer. Don’t worry. They can’t see us. I’m the assistant.
Over there, sitting at the helm of this organic female warrior ship is Ilene Chaiken, the creator of The L Word and, by default, the leader of this island of Lesbos (pardon my language, Greece). See that, she’s drinking her "special" tea. No one’s allowed to make it because no one knows what’s in it. Ginkgo biloba, lotus leaves, elixir... no one knows.
We walk over to the table full of nuts, dried fruit, berries and hummus — this is what they eat. The Have 'A Chips are always a big hit. I chomp on a soy crisp and continue around the room.
The one in the bandana, that’s Rose Troche, the Puerto Rican with a dash of Woody Allen, who may or may not hide a razor blade under her tongue. She’ll Purell her hands and call you a guera all in the same breath. Over there, in the patent leather shoes, on her iPhone is Elizabeth Ziff. She’s the resident rock star with a musical theatre queen living on the inside. Her bark is worse than her bite.
You ask me about the one doodling in the fedora. Yeah, she does that. That’s Alex Kondracke. She doodles and eats Pinkberry between moments of inspiration. Next to her, drinking the watermelon juice is a skilled wordsmith, Angela Robinson — this week’s favorite word is “pathos.”
Oh, and then there’s me, the writers’ assistant. The girl screaming on the inside for a Double-Double animal-style with a side of fries who’s being force-fed steamed tofu and rice. It’s like I’ve been kidnapped by a tribe of healthy, eco-conscious Navajo Indians, but instead of basket weaving and totem poles, we do yoga on the roof and breathe through our heart chakras. No, better yet, it’s fat camp. I’m learning how to structure a third act with rising action while I don’t eat after 7 p.m.
Things I’ve learned so far on Survivor L Word — you must recycle, own a Mac, vote in the upcoming election, eat with chopsticks, listen to NPR, type 439 words per minute, oh, and have a pocket dictionary within arm's reach at all times that covers Greek mythology through contemporary lesbian slang. Because one minute someone says, “I’m designing a t-shirt line. The black shirts say Thanatos and the white shirts say Eros.” I throw my head back, fake laugh and frantically Google. And the next minute someone says, “Trust me, she’s a total shouldbian!” Where’s the Lesbian Lexicon when you need one?
This week, I made it through the yoga roof challenge, the Google gauntlet and the organic obstacle course. Next week, the hummus hurdle, I don’t know; but for now I’m alive and still afloat, on the island for another week. The tribe has spoken. (Blowing out torch.)
Check out the video below and witness my life as a cover girl.
Lesbian Adjacent
Straight Plus
M to F
Top & Bottom
Apartment listing in West Hollywood or a new character on The L Word? That’s one secret I’ll never tell…
Five women sit around a table eating rice chips, contemplating the apropos location for a torrid public sex scene. Welcome to The L Word writers’ room. A world where sex meets soy and hybrid plus NPR plus yoga equals morning ritual.
Come on. Who are we kidding? Let’s pop the bubble on the sensationalized The L Word writers’ mystique and get to the good stuff, shall we? (Holding out hand.) Nobody puts baby in the corner. Follow me.
We walk up a spiral staircase of a Hollywood loft and into the writers’ room. I deliver a double decaf, iced, skim latte to a writer. Don’t worry. They can’t see us. I’m the assistant.
Over there, sitting at the helm of this organic female warrior ship is Ilene Chaiken, the creator of The L Word and, by default, the leader of this island of Lesbos (pardon my language, Greece). See that, she’s drinking her "special" tea. No one’s allowed to make it because no one knows what’s in it. Ginkgo biloba, lotus leaves, elixir... no one knows.
We walk over to the table full of nuts, dried fruit, berries and hummus — this is what they eat. The Have 'A Chips are always a big hit. I chomp on a soy crisp and continue around the room.
The one in the bandana, that’s Rose Troche, the Puerto Rican with a dash of Woody Allen, who may or may not hide a razor blade under her tongue. She’ll Purell her hands and call you a guera all in the same breath. Over there, in the patent leather shoes, on her iPhone is Elizabeth Ziff. She’s the resident rock star with a musical theatre queen living on the inside. Her bark is worse than her bite.
You ask me about the one doodling in the fedora. Yeah, she does that. That’s Alex Kondracke. She doodles and eats Pinkberry between moments of inspiration. Next to her, drinking the watermelon juice is a skilled wordsmith, Angela Robinson — this week’s favorite word is “pathos.”
Oh, and then there’s me, the writers’ assistant. The girl screaming on the inside for a Double-Double animal-style with a side of fries who’s being force-fed steamed tofu and rice. It’s like I’ve been kidnapped by a tribe of healthy, eco-conscious Navajo Indians, but instead of basket weaving and totem poles, we do yoga on the roof and breathe through our heart chakras. No, better yet, it’s fat camp. I’m learning how to structure a third act with rising action while I don’t eat after 7 p.m.
Things I’ve learned so far on Survivor L Word — you must recycle, own a Mac, vote in the upcoming election, eat with chopsticks, listen to NPR, type 439 words per minute, oh, and have a pocket dictionary within arm's reach at all times that covers Greek mythology through contemporary lesbian slang. Because one minute someone says, “I’m designing a t-shirt line. The black shirts say Thanatos and the white shirts say Eros.” I throw my head back, fake laugh and frantically Google. And the next minute someone says, “Trust me, she’s a total shouldbian!” Where’s the Lesbian Lexicon when you need one?
This week, I made it through the yoga roof challenge, the Google gauntlet and the organic obstacle course. Next week, the hummus hurdle, I don’t know; but for now I’m alive and still afloat, on the island for another week. The tribe has spoken. (Blowing out torch.)
Check out the video below and witness my life as a cover girl.
- Cassie Pappas's blog
- Login or register to post comments
- Share
Delicious
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
Google
Yahoo
Recent comments
- *** *** "The most important quality essential to success is perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."--...
- *** *** "The most important quality essential to success is perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."--...
- I've read this exchange was an ad-lib by Leisha and Mia...
- *** *** "The most important quality essential to success is perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."--...
- ...for your service to our nation and for your valuable insight. I served in the US Army for 9 years. Part of my job was ...
44 Comments
season six.....
Well, writers just make sure Tina and Bette get alot of air time. Make sure we get a wedding or committment ceremony from these two. I wish we can get an episode 7 & 8 at least. Then I think everyone will be happy. We just are not ready for this to end! I like the drama of the L Word. I think that's what makes the show work. I love that we can relate to some of these story lines. In season six I want to see Tina and Bette communicate alot more, sex scenes, marriage. I would love to see Helena and Alice get together, I always thought they would hit it off. I don't think it's necessary for everyone to hook up in relationships though. It's more important to see friendships. I would like Shane and Jenny to make up, but Shane really has to prove herself. But not necessary for Jenny and Shane to be together or with anyone else.
Loved It
Okay, that was so damn funny. I love your descriptions of everyone and download of the situation. Looking forward to more.
Hahahahaahaaa!
I will SO be looking forward to more of your blogs!
Oh, and you kinda look like a cross between Tara Reid and folk singer Dar Williams. Only, ya know, hot.
S H E N N Y '09!
"Three of my ex-girlfriends are now lesbians..." -ANGUS, 3x02
french-ips
as usal i understood less than the half off what was said in the video, but as it is written "learn french" i supposed there was a french word inside, but difficult for me to found it (double lol)!
Maybe is this world "poussin" is it ?????
I wondering what "poussin"(g) is going to do in the writer's room ? Are they going to use "poussins" as sexual toys in the 6th season ???
What's up with
Organified, Veggified, Healthified Lesbos? I'm with you on the in-n-out, good luck with the Super Duper Veggidykes though :D
So Cassie Does Soy & Rooftop Yoga?
There certainly must be a mystical power in the writers' room of the L Word if you are actually eating tofu, assuming yoga postures and opening your root chakra!
Tell me Cassie, now that you've been exposed to these talented women in their loft of eros, fueled by their macrobiotic diet and kept relaxed and fit with their rooftop yoga, will you still be able to get down and dirty and dish us the gossip we're dying to hear?
little lady longhorn
spotted. triple L on ourchart.
i will om shanti, downward dog and dish the scoop.
xoxo
gossip girl
I've been quite busy lately.
I've been quite busy lately. Welcome. I'm sorry that I missed this earlier. But glad I found it. I'm looking forward to more blogs and videos from the writer's room.
I did a WTF also when I watched it. Rose's chicken punchline - made it. It was short and sweet. But wow. The room goes fast, eh?
I'm just going to whisper this and maybe it might some how energize the thoughts into being.
psssst.. )))bring Dylan back(((
Dylan, well - Alex, fits good. And if you're going to bring any new faces - and Dylan isn't new new, but i'd rather see her come back and add a freshness and explore that chemistry and something that was brought out in Helena - when Dylan was on.
I really like the idea of Shane and a camera. Even though it was kind of weird that we didn't ever see Shane behind the lens prior to that "High Art" moment. I still like the idea of Shane having a hobby - beside being with the ladies.
rovermom :)
Life is a 3D puzzle and everyone has a piece!
NEW! OurChart Photo Assignment and My Blog
This is so far the BEST BLOG i ever read here!
I LOVE your style you are beautiful, smart, hilarious and funny!
Please marry me ragazza
XOXO
------------
"You can bind my body, tie my hands, govern my actions: you are the strongest, and society adds to your power; but with my will, sir, you can do nothing."
- George Sand
thanks for sharing
just a comment:
i dislike cliques, trends, fads, and lesboppropriateness TM, SM and Circle R on that phrase.. (lesbopprorpriateness fyi. so whoever uses it will be getting a letter from my lawyer...)
your hair looks coarse and
your hair looks coarse and wiry. that'd make for a great fur burger.
message me if you are interested ;)
that's disgusting
good luck. let us know if she mails you back.
Fancy Signature:
"Consider yourself moderated...." Return of the Moderator III / The Tri-Light Zone - A Frontier Beyond The Banning
Are you going to be put on the blogger's list?
I hope your weekly installments will come out with the rest of the bloggers. This promises to be fun. Your descriptions of the setting are great as is the apparent culture shock in the heady Lesbian atmosphere. I'm looking forward to more installments.
Although dead women tell no tales and I'm sure you want to Live to Tell (like Madonna), I'd LOVE to know if the writers are taking some of the comments from last season to heart. I'm one of those fans who love the L Word, but sometimes cringe at the writing...plot holes, weird time transitions, poor character development for some of the characters, and at times, really weak dialog. Some good acting sells a lot of it, while some of it is so glaring it's a distraction. It would be wonderful if there was better attention paid to the quality of the writing (not necessarily the story lines, but maybe that too) for the last season. Since you are a writer's assistant, you'd probably be as out of line mentioning this as you would bringing BBQ'ed Pork Butt into the room, but what the heck, I thought I'd mention it.
Lezbeth
I'll take the BBQ'ed pork
I'll take the BBQ'ed pork butt - if she won't take it in. I'm fine as long as I don't see the poor pig hanging in the basement slathered in Puerto Rican spices. Wait. Scratch that. I'm picturing it and the smell came back to me. Shit. There goes the thought of eating a pig again.
Every year my BF has a pig roast and I go up and sleep over to help put it on at 4am. I can't ever eat the pig that we roast. In fact, I haven't been eating pig for the longest time.
I'll take some hummus. peeeaas :D
rovermom :)
Life is a 3D puzzle and everyone has a piece!
NEW! OurChart Photo Assignment and My Blog
Hola, Cassie
Cassie, please forgive me for commenting late on your blog and saying Welcome. My jury duty duties put me behind this week. Your blog and the WTF video made me laugh out loud. I can see that Google is going to be your main friend on this gig!
interesting deets!!
Cassie, can't wait to check out your hummus hurdle next week... sounds nutty already! oh and try to find out what's in Ilene's "special tea", will ya? ;-)
...
special tea = fountain of youth
Great blog!
Loved the blog and the video! Funny! Funny!
And good luck to you Cassie; it sounds/looks like you've got your hands full!
I just have to put this out there...
I forgot to politely beg (lol) for the "Bette and Tina first meet" story re-told through the eyes (this time) of Bette. It'd be great to hear it from her perspective. It would be funny if she somehow had something to do with Tina being unable to properly re-situate her earring. Sabotage!! ;-)
thx, Ilene for B & T
Yeeah, "WTF?" ..
....
:D
ayta einai.....
are elladara athanati...ayta einai re...mia einai i ellada k gia to L word :D ante elate k kamia bolta apo edo gia kanena gyrisma...:D GREECE LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
All of that to write a
All of that to write a lesbian melodrama!?
To Ilene and writers
More Tibette please in S6.
And to the beeauutiful and sweet Laurel Holloman - happy birthday!!! Hope you are feeling the love from your fans from all over on this special day. Thanks for acknowledging the fans' donation and support to Doctors Without Borders to honour you on your birthday. You set the example and we just follow.
awesome
can't wait for more!!!! just tell Ilene to keep TiBette happy in season 6, it's all i ask
Hilarious!
Cassie:
I feel your pain! The reality of this, even though you bring great humor to what goes on, it's totally true what these gals are eating, talking about, doing. Back in the day when I got out of college, I worked in Prodction on films/tv, etc. It is simply hilarious what goes on behind the scenes and what you are asked to "fetch" for them. I once had to find a dentist at 2am in rural virginia while shooting music video b/c our dp needed a tooth pulled and they ddn't want to stop filming. Needless to say, i didn't find one...so as a backup, he used you know, illegal stuff to curb the pain. Which i was asked to find but refused. I can't wait to read more of your adventures with the writer crew
KiKi
mmmm
mmmmm.... pinkberry
Welcome
WTF....brill!!!
Ok...so your schedule is...make one, learn french, change diet, do yoga!!!
Did you get the MAC yet to type this up?
Welcome!....sweet Jesus what did you let yourself in for?!!!! ...it should be fun?!!! right?
...
black mac book. check.
Great job
Loved it.
Oh yeah...
I almost forgot. Welcome to the L Word and Ourchart!!
Good luck to you!
psst..psst...
(whispering) you could totally pass for Tina's younger sister on the show. feel free to throw that out there in the ol' writer's sanctum. Umm...jus' sayin!
total
genius! it's absolutely hillarious yet truthful, and gives us anxious readers a taste of the inner L-word sanctum. :)
crackin' up
This is one humorous blog and the video gives it that extra oomph. Looking forward to the weekly installments.
the wtf video is the
the wtf video is the brainchild of gigi nicolas
OMG!
Dude your blog was funny and witty as hell from beginning to end! ;)
I think I said "WTF" out loud a moment before it popped up on the video! LOL
******
"Change is created by those whose imaginations are bigger than their circumstances." Unknown
Ha
I love these little behind the scenes blogs. Oooh outdoor sex is the best - especially 20 minute montage ones... hee Thanatos and Eros? How very Freudian. :-)
--==--==--
I've Woken Now To Find Myself In The Shadows Of All I Have Created
IN-N-OUT
How I miss IN-N-OUT. Stuck in Colorado. Apartment listing in West Hollywood could only mean one thing:
TINA AND BETTE BACK TOGETHER FOR GOOD
Sounds pretty healthy and entertaining........
How about a healthy portion of eros? Maybe it should be erotica?
PINKBERRY?!!
My new favorite food! Send it to the midwest, please.
Great idea, Cassie. Very cool.
DIPS!
Can't wait to hear about the hummus hurdle next week! I'll be tuning in every Thursday - with a bag of popcorn. (organic, of course)
Oh yes!
I love In 'n Out! Thanks for the reference. I look forward to these posts!
*crossing my fingers* if
*crossing my fingers* if there's a new character.. then I'm looking forward.. at the same time.. I wouldn't hope any of my favorite cast would be "kick" out.. and of course.. I don't want the PH rumor thing to come true.. but.. yeah!!! L word rocks!!!
you, me,
in-n-out, #2 animal style...one chocolate shake, 2 straws. bring it.
um...
2 chocolate shakes. 4 straws. done.