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Memorial Day: WE ALIVE
May 28, 2008 - 5:24am — Lenelle MoïseThis morning I woke up next to my longtime lover and felt giddy and grateful. Grateful for the sun. How it gives color. How it sent shimmery golden rays across her soft, freckled face as she faced me with her eyes closed and whispered, “Good morning.”
I felt grateful for the deep, smiling, salt-n-molasses kiss that followed her gentle greeting. For the fruitiness of her flesh. For her nose that nuzzled my bare left breast. For my unshaven legs wrapped around her newly — rarely — shaven ones. For my ears that heard a million leaves hiss outside the window. How they wrestled each other’s green in the wild late spring wind.
I felt grateful for the oceanic eggshell paint that coats our rented bedroom walls. For the blue ribbons that drape across our ceiling. For the orange wood of our shiny floor boards and the Griffin & Sabine books that rest on top of them. I felt grateful for the Kermit-colored curl of the bushy fern that blocks our view of our full-length mirror. For the way our neighbor’s bass makes the foliage shiver.
I thought of how simple, sweet and effortless it all feels — to love my life in the early morning on Memorial Day — to love this woman I will always remember. The way I often wake up before phone calls, deadlines, meetings, invitations, unpaid bills, expectations, rejection letters, commercials, news and expert opinions, and feel tender and quiet in her arms. Found and nameless. Held and normal. Blessed and safe. Forgiven and cherished.
I thought of how all over the world, queer people are killed for openly trying to attain this plain, ancient feeling called love. How all we want is the freedom to touch each other. How Gambian President Yahya Jammeh detests us. How, recently, he has been unabashedly loud about his intention to bash and decapitate the LGBTQ folks who live in or enter the Gambia. How he once said, “Among my animals there are no lesbians, no gays or whatever. They do everything as nature ordered.”
But what is more naturally ordered than consensual, sensual touch?
I thought of Brandon Teena and Matthew Shepard. I thought of Rashawn Brazell and Sakia Gunn. I thought of all the maimed and murdered LGBTQ people whose names we don’t remember or never heard on the news. I wrote the following poem for them. For you. For us. For love.
WE ALIVE
we children of god and truth
we harbingers of sexual salvation
we brave enough to love ourselves
when senegal is trying to kill us
we with warm worn wild tongues
we with long wet seeking fingers
we with broken open hearts
when gambia says he'll chop off our heads
we with hungry deep urgent kisses
we in stilettos pumping stonewall fists
we with genders bent to meet our souls
when falls city nebraska rapes us
we with groins that want to talk dirty
we with mouths that want to come clean
we with legs that want to outrun
when laramie wyoming crushes our skulls
we who ache for your acceptance
we are not waiting for your laws
we were on our way to the accountant
when brooklyn left our torn limbs in trash bags
we with wigs and bikes and pride
we with leather and lust and poems
we with sass and guts and homegirls
when newark stabbed us in our chests
we are loving all over the world
we are hated all over the world
we are buried all over the world
we are grieving all over the world
we are praying all over the world
we are dancing all over the world
we are laughing all over the world
we are living all over the world
we alive
all over
the world
WE ALIVE.
- Lenelle Moïse's blog
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26 Comments
Amazing
THis was breathtaking. Thank you. You are amazingly inspiring.
Extraordinary
I'm just sayin'.....
this is stunning
breathtaking. thank you.
My goodness, Lenelle
You never fail to take my breath away.
My gf was commenting Monday that it doesn't feel like we do anything to honor anyone on Memorial Day. I sent her a copy of your blog.
Thank you.
~paz y amor siempre
!!!!!!!!!!!!
APPLAUS!!!
really powerful...
you are *touched*.
Beautiful words
Words, the greatest gift we can give one another. Lets keep talking, writing and publishing.
Love your words, thank you.
sarah4annah
I'm Stunned.......
Lennelle, your soul is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you for your words. I can't hold back the tears.
THANKS
Thank you so much for this, that was amazing. One of the best weapons in this troubled world is words. We sure are alive all over the world. Thank you so much.
dIZZY
thanks
'bout memorial day, i usually pray for the sours of the dead in the war. but this is also quite something. she made a memorial day more stunned. thank her so much))
Consensual, sensual
"But what is more naturally ordered than consensual, sensual touch?"
I haven't thought about this in years. This question was the one thought that I could not counter with a negative argument when I was younger and coming to terms with realizing I am a lesbian. I never felt more natural in my life or closer to God than when I was intimate with my partner. This thought alone became the foundation upon which I built my proud and confident lesbian identity.
Thank you for the reminder; and I loved the poem, video, and that voice! :)
BEAUTIFUL, AMAZINGLY PUT!
BEAUTIFUL, AMAZINGLY PUT!
Powerful and evoking words.
Powerful and evoking words. Stupendous
You...
Are an amazing amazing amazing writer.
Your spoken word is beautiful.
word
that's all i can say.
Wow
Just beautiful. Love the art of spoken word.
Ooooh this gave me the
Ooooh this gave me the chills. THANK YOU.
Simply put
Beutiful
My next girlfriend is always better than the last.
Thanks Lenelle
I'm glad you wrote about this. I was thinking about it, too. My mind drifted there yesterday as I was hauling the garbage can to the curb wondering if the garbage truck would be late for one day given that we were honoring dead soldiers. (Okay, it's a weird thought, but that's how they arise.) Immediately, my mind went to when do we honor the dead and wounded from the war at home? (Where ever home is.) We do have "Pride" celebrations, but, thanks to the Queens who instigated Stonewall, that IS a celebration, colorful and, well, gay. When do we bow our heads and hold our rainbow flags? Where is the memorial with names carved in stone? When do we honor those LGBT folks who sacrificed their lives so that others like us could have freedom? When do we honor the young people, dead from suicide because the intolerance was too much to bear?
In my mind, the recent wars abroad have had NOTHING to do with protecting the freedom, such as it is, for me to live openly as a Lesbian. In fact, given the patriotic war cry of "protecting our freedom," I wonder exactly what true American freedoms those soldiers in Iraq are sacrificing their lives to protect.
BTW, this is not to take ANYTHING away from those men and women and their families who suffer as a result of military service. I have an enormous amount of compassion for the price they pay, whether they lose their lives or not. I just know that many of my LGBT sisters and brothers live under that threat every day, right here in the Land of the Free. What's crazy-making is that no one sees the guns pointed at us until someone dies and even then how quickly they forget.
Lezbeth
Kate Bornstein...
A couple of years ago, the brilliant Kate Bornstein wrote a self-help book called HELLO, CRUEL WORLD: 101 ALTERNATIVES TO SUICIDE FOR TEENS, FREAKS & OTHER OUTLAWS. Here are a few of my favorites:
#2) Take a deep breath and touch yourself.
#19) Make art out of it.
#23) See yourself in everyone you meet.
#32) Get out there and be an ex.
#40) Make believe.
#87) Quote scripture for your own purposes.
#101) Try to keep someone else alive.
to be alive
and in the arms of a loving woman - it doesn't get much better than that. But what I love about you is that you are never satisfied just with your own situation. Your instinct is to make the bigger connections. "We ALIVE all over the world" a joyous, defiant call to arms.
in love and struggle,
V
p.s. no pressure but i hope you're still going to send me stuff. :)
Soldiers of a Queer Nation
I was thinking about memorial day and what it should mean to me, if anything. Remembering what? Soldiers? The same soldiers that came to "uphold democracy" in Haiti in 1995 as I, we, stood shaken and watched the sky colored pink with the threat of imminent bombs? I remember.
Airplanes atop landscape and propaganda photos flew to reach us in fear. My eyes were to small and the snapshots are now broken into paintings of men with pale skins and large guns.
Uphold Democracy. Forced Invasion. 9 year old eyes that almost saw war. And then later, an abrupt rush (my own coming to america) into more color--to the country that rapes my country in the guise of a democratic marriage. And even later, a coward removal of a president (my president?) without so much as a glance as to the damage left...
I don't know how to celebrate soldiers, U.S. Soldiers, without confusion, and bitterness. So, thank you, for the reminder that all kinds of soldiers exists. And that we exist in the queer revolution and fight to be alive.
Yes !!!
We are still alive and there's hope somewhere !!!!
This is a very touching poem
You have mad talent with
You have mad talent with words.
Thank you for posting this poem!
Despite all of the worlds bigotry and predjudice, every day brings a new chance for people to change and learn and accept.
I'm definately hopeful for the day when our love is accepted for simply what it is - deep, intense, honest, pure love.
x
greaaat ! great ! great !
My frog ass is jumping everywhere thanks to your words !
we alive
and im so glad you are too, with your tremendous- hopeful-loving words
the M word