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Smell This

In the summer of 1989, my cousin told me that I smelled like whole milk. For whatever reason, I found this to be profoundly offensive, so to retaliate I told her that she smelled like egg yolk and raisins. As a wise man once said, an eye for an eye. I was bothered by her comment because smell can make or break a person. My mother made me switch orthodontists when I was 12 because my initial one smelled like canned crab meat.

Have you ever stopped seeing someone because they smelled wrong? Not bad, per se, just wrong? I have. A little while back I was dating a person who, for all intents and purposes, should have been my dream girl. She was a hot Jew who wore the nicest sneakers I've ever seen in my life. She was chivalrous and smart. She had excellent taste in movies and made me really good mixes that I played on repeat until I accidentally dropped my stereo on the floor and wasn't able to listen to music anymore. But she didn't smell right. Unlike me, she showered every day and, unlike me, she did her laundry more than twice a year. It had nothing to do with hygiene. But we'd crawl into bed and I'd go to lay my head on her shoulder and everything in me would recoil. She smelled like an amalgamation of new tennis balls, a basement and lamb. Also, a pond. In other words, no. No to her. Moving along.

A couple weeks ago I was making out with a bouncer who works at my bar. She pulled away for a minute and rested her nose on the corner of my mouth. "I like the way you smell," she said.

"What do I smell like?" I asked.

"Like baby powder" she answered. "And sex."

I'll take that over a dairy drink high in saturated fat any day. We ended up sleeping together, and I reveled in her scent all the while: that of wrapping paper, aftershave and soup. Also, sex. It's funny how some people just smell like the act, in a way that's thoroughly alluring.

When I was in L.A. earlier this month, I took it upon myself to purchase a bottle of Shania Twain perfume. I don't know why I did this. She's really annoying (sucks that her husband cheated, but still) and the song "That Don't Impress Me Much" makes me want to curl into a ball and die. Furthermore, her scent smells like spoiled candy apples and a scratch-and-sniff grape sticker. But I made the purchase because I was tired of being envious of people with signature scents. For better or for worse, the type of person who'd walk into a room and make their presence known simply because of their fragrance. Just as some people don't understand that Skechers and capri pants are to be avoided at all costs, I don't get fragrances. I know what smells right and what smells wrong on other people, but when it comes to shopping for things of the olfactory variety, I'm much like Tai at the start of Clueless. In other words, clueless.

I'm not sure what the legendary Helen Keller smelled like, but she said something beautiful about all this: "Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived."

61 Comments

smell...

so important, so under-rated and so hard to really describe.

My girlfriend is always saying how much she likes the way I smell whether I've just showered and she can name which shampoo I used or whether we've been traveling (ie not bathing) for days. It's always odd when I feel disgusting and she's like "ooh nice!"

smells good...

My ex girlfriend always use to say that she loved the smell of me. Not my perfume or shower gel, me...Whenever I came out of the shower or bath, she hug me and say, "I don't like it.You don't smell like you"...But after a hour or so she would hug me again and inhale my scent and say, "mmm..you smell good. You smell like you".

I'm never easily discouraget but...

The power of smell is amazing. Once I was completely horny for my friend. We weren't really good friends or anything so sex, with her, was on my mind. I happened to find myself in her room, waiting for her to stop talking to her brother so I could jump on her when she walked back in the room. She came to the room and so did an odd smell. Not bad, just weird. That was that, I didn't wanna do anything with her ever again. We're just friends, and its gonna stay that way.

Bad smells

You know, I dated a guy like the girl you described. He smelled "off" to me and its not just because he was a guy. Some guys DO actually smell pretty good. Anyway, this guy was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease a few weeks after we broke up. I always wondered if that was part of the reason he smelled bad to me. Strange.

scents

first of all, katie the fact that you bought shania here in l.a is fucking awesome.

i am one that places enormous care on the scent of my lover. i like the way i smell and i like my girl to smell nice.
i like it when they don't have to try.
my ex cycles and i loved her to death, all times of day she smelled perfect. however, when she had just finished exercising i was an animal for her.
this scent would just ooze out of her salty neck and drive me nuts, i miss that. that's when you know you really love someone, when even their sweat smells sexy.

My gurlfren smells like

My gurlfren smells like vanilla and soft warm comfortness. I sniff her all the livelong day....and sometimes the nibbling happens, too. One of the many things that make her beyond awesome...her smell, mmmmmmmmmm.

I am somewhat of a cologne-o-phile with different scents for each season. Spicy musks for winter(like Gucci Envy, Givenchy Very Irresistable, or Burberry London), lemony spritzes in spring (like Polo Black, Kenneth Cole Reaction, and DKNY Be Delicious), soapy clean scents for summer (like Nautica Longitude Lattitude and Azzaro Chrome), old favorites in the fall (like Burberry Brit and Givenchy Pi).

Smell is a big thing for me

i must admit if a girl smells funny its bad, but usually ive had ones that smell goooood :)
My current girlfriend wears Britney Spears perfume and its gorgeous!
plus she generally just smells gd all the time, even her sweat haha

Haha, I love it! I can't

Haha, I love it!

I can't think of interesting and beautiful scents without thinking of BPAL. http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/

If anyone out there wants to learn how to smell delicious and intriguing but isn't entirely sure how, pick a BPAL scent. :D They're fabulous.

xO kate

Important

Smell, that's a very important thing for me.
I don't know what to do if a smelly person comes up to me, I can't handle it. I just want to get away.
Smelling bad is repulsive. It's also a violation of personal space, since you can't stop it from entering you nose and fill your mouth with polluted air.

I always smell nice.
My friends tell me I smell like an entire Lush store. That sounds good to me :D
My all time favorite perfume is Comme des Garçons, Jaisalmer from their Incense series.
Smells like a smoky day in a damp and fresh forest. Ad some India to that and ther's the smell. I Love it!

Pheromones

Apparently, we all release pheromones (much like insects, only far gayer). This chemical is signature to us; it's meant to be attractive. My theory is that it's attractive only to the right person (or persons). I've been around people whose scent i can't stand (who are subsequently usually bad for me) and people whose scent I simply cannot get enough of (who, much like my partner, turn out to be wonderful for me).

As for me, I've been told I smell like Rebekah (my name), and that it's a good thing. I'd like to image that I smell like sunshine.

author

totally

i like to image that too

ah, smelling

Its kinda crazy how many conversations I've had with people about body odor. A couple days ago after work I was getting ready to ride my bike home with a couple of co workers, and my friend announced that he smelled like thanksgiving dinner. then he told me that i smell like onions. I've also had friends ask me to smell them to see if they needed to reapply deoderant. I used to be vegan, and my best friend (who was also vegan, still is, and a gay man) told me once that I smelled like garlic, and it was hot.

I ride my bike everywhere in the city, and work as a cook, so i pretty much always smell bad. And i only shower a couple times a week, cause im just going to get on my bike and sweat right away anyway. today i smell like my organic 'spring fresh' deoderant, because I remembered to put it on today, but thats kinda rare.

I smell like a bike punk who works in a hot kitchen. Im ok with that.

This is a Joke, right?

" I ride my bike everywhere in the city, and work as a cook, so i pretty much always smell bad. And i only shower a couple times a week, cause im just going to get on my bike and sweat right away anyway".

I knew there was a very good reason that I love cooking, and would much rather cook for my lovers than go out.

Isn't there some sort of "Health Dept" law about stinky cooks? And how can you tell if the cheese you're cooking with has gone bad? :(

cooks don't ALLLL smell bad :(

i saw that..and i HAD to comment..haha...cuz i sure don't smell bad..even after work..im told i smell nice..sumtimes..i smell like food cuz u just cant get the scent out...aaaaah..

and u can tell by tasting it..thats the only way..

bar smell

i smell like coconuts and old men's bar.
where's your bar, katie? I am new in town and I want to meet people.

lau

author

cattyshack

it's a dyke bar in park slope, bk.

Hell Yeah......

I love to smell yummy , regardless of what I'm doing.
If I'm cleaning the pool, scooping out the horse stalls, or surfing......
It's got to be Oscar Del la Renta...... that fragrance is hypnotically luxurious.

Yeah ,what she said!

Oscar on the right woman is fabulous. So that makes you and my wifey fabulous. Chanel No. 5 perfume on her makes me loose my entire mind!!!I'm just sayin'.....

Which came first?

Her sent turns my head; mandarin and mint, seductively energizing. But do I notice her because she smells good, or does she smell good because of all the other reasons I notice her?

Taem?

I'm

a Degree deodorant and Very Sexy Victoria's Secret perfume mixture.... Sometimes Juicy Couture. Anyway, I've always been told that I smell really nice, but if you think about it, how many people would tell you if you smelled bad? So really, I might actually smell pretty shitty lol.

Smells

Right now, I smell like I'm doing three loads of laundry. The other night when I was baking cookies, I smelled like oatmeal, brown sugar, raisins, vanilla and cinnamon. I wanted to eat myself. Just kidding.

Can you

get in that position???
N!k

I can't. But my cat can. ;-)

I can't. But my cat can. ;-)

No wonder

you can never find a cat.....lol
N!k

I smell like wild

I smell like wild honeysuckle. (Bath and Body Works)

love wild honeysuckle. i'm

love wild honeysuckle. i'm a pear blossom girl all the way.

I smell like

butternut squash, and everyone knows it.

author

true dat

everyone knows it.

after a shower

i know what i smell like.. after laying on the couch for 2 days without a shower ... i know what i smell like... *holding nose*

but when i go out or to work i smell like a john varvatos cologne... good stuff. masculine yet not totally butch.

http://www.fragrancenet.com/john-varvatos-cologne/john-varvatos/mens-fra...

ps.. here are the fragrance notes... lol
FRAGRANCE NOTES - a mix of tamarind leaves, herbs and dates, with spice, woods, leather and vanilla, an alluring scent.
RECOMMENDED USE - romantic

spot on.

Sniff

"Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived."

She's dead on. Go amygdala!

Now I wish I was lying with my head on my sweetie's shoulder, inhaling the smell of her... Damn workday.

~paz y amor siempre

i smelled you out of the corner of my nose

now after reading this, it makes me more aware. i'm that person that HAS to smell good. i layer scented lotion with body spray and reapply after a few hours. i don't ever smell bad...i also have broken up with or reconsidered dating someone over smell. the same as being completely attracted to someone because of their cologne. you follow them a little too close and lean in when they speak...just to smell them.

I hear ya!

i got together with the girl i'm now seeing because she would come up to me several times a day to smell me... haha, that's when i started to clue in that she was interested... plus it was completely hot having her breathing on my neck to catch a scent!

yeah

and at my age if i did that i'd be written up for sexual harassment. ah the benefits of being a dorky ass brat.

You have a forty-year-old

You have a forty-year-old son??

i do???

really??

Oh sorry, didn't follow the

Oh sorry, didn't follow the thread far enough. :) Katie was talking about someone else. My bad.

author

i still have no idea how old you are.

like, no idea. you have a forty year-old son but you look like you're fifteen.

katie

what?

where did you hear that? you've seen the pics of him on myspace (maybe)... lol he's a little younger than 40.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK-Eb-n9C1c

Thank You For Sharing...

That was just beautiful. ;)

Great family slideshow.

Great family slideshow. He's is a handsome boy.

i dunno

i think it'd be rather silly of me to press charges on you for that, seeing as we're both adults. and you are definitely missing out on being a dorky ass brat.

editor

I discovered

that i smell like pencile shavings and erasures...
its not pleasant and i'm really distressed by it.

im odd

too cuz i love the smell of pencil shavings :)its kinda refreshing..liek freshly cut grass..ok ill stop now..

*turns red*

Don't take this the wrong

Don't take this the wrong way, but I've always found the smell of pencil shavings quite pleasant. lol I love to do pencil drawings and the earthy smell of crushed wood is quite nice...like chopping logs for a fire.

I'm odd that way.

Snniff...

Ahh! Call me freaky, but I always looked forward to the smell of new pencils at the beginning of the school year. There's just something reassuring about that renewal. You can't get a sexy smell like that from a Mac!

;)
Taem?

Totally

I'm in agreement with you there. The smell of pencils and those plastic boxes that you keep the pencils in.

editor

pencil fetish?

xo

Maybe we cold start a new

Maybe we cold start a new site: Post Your Pointed Pictures Here.

;)
Taem?

Really? That sounds like a

Really? That sounds like a good smell to me. Toss in some library book smell and you have a winning cologne.

editor

milstein

you are kinky...