I work at a local coffee shop 6-7 days a week, usually in the mornings. I've drank coffee for a few years, but it used to only be one large, only on days I worked, which in the good old days was only 4-5 days a week. Now I drink probably about 30 ounces between the hours of 5:30 am and 1pm almost daily. Yesterday I had a day off of work for the first time in awhile. I felt great when I first woke up, (and keep in mind I did not get my coffee until around an hour after I woke up, although I thought about it a large amount of the time until then, knowing it wasn't a question of whether I got it, just when we stopped). After my coffee I was okay for a bit but my mood quickly dropped. I sat miserably watching a fourth of july parade I had been looking forward to attending. A big part of it was missing my friends and family I know, and regrets over some past decisions, but still I was completely disproportionately upset. I wound up breaking down crying, skipping the barbecue I was invited to, and napping in bed for half the day, watching buffy (comfort tv) and hugging stuffed animals (pure comfort). I managed to make it to the fireworks but I was exhausted (post lengthy nap), still grouchy, and I just wanted to be at home with Kaye alone. I don't know how much of this is me being antisocial and dealing with my multiple issues, and how much caffeine withdrawel played in, but I have a feeling it at least played a small role. And after the past experiences of fall, addicted to anything, especially a stimulant, is the last thing I want to be.