There's this creeper guy I hadn't had the heart to tell him I'm gay. And he was in the backroom, mopping and scrubbing up the tiled floors. While my buddy Hannah and I are putting away Waffle Bowls, Hannah goes "I feel like a whore 'cause I'm jumping from boy to boy" and I told her "Gee, wish I could say that, but I'm gay." She had the bigggessssttt smile on her face and then there's the creeper boy in the backroom, frozen in his spot. He had stopped doing whatever he was doing. I guess earlier he went up to my shift leader saying, "Oh, my god.. Nicole is soooooooooooooo hott."

Haha, so yeah, I'm out at work.

I'm definitely out. I'm very "butchy" that they do not need to get a confirmation from me if I'm gay or not.

I am out at work. I actually work for Noodles & Company as a shift manager there. I just got promoted. From the time I started working there, I felt very welcomed and the atmosphere felt very laid back enough that I thought it would be fine to come out. I just casually mentioned that I have a girlfriend and of course people are like, "what? really? you're gay?" and I answered questions about my sexuality and most people were just open to it and it wasn't a big deal. The reason it isn't such a big deal is because Noodles & Company is just so open to LGBT people. The company itself was founded in Denver, Colorado and according to one of my gay friends who transferred to Northern VA to my store from one of the Colorado stores, a majority of corporate are gay. My area manager is gay, one of the other managers I work with is gay. No one even batts an eyelash to it. It's kind of awesome.

I'm not surprised though, Virginia may be a "red" state and southern VA is certainly very "christian"....Northern VA is like a blue spot amongst the red.

I live in the bible belt, so to speak. I own my own business (organic farmer & dog boarding) where customers come to my farm. I often have "friends" that are clearly butch visiting and helping me out. If that wasn't a clue then they actually thought they were men.

Keep in mine that probably 80% of my customers are Christian. They walk in and smell incense and say "oh that smells so nice" and then they see my big Buddha and candles and you can tell its a little unsettling for them, HOWEVER they also know my deep commitment to animals and that is their primary concern. I had an issue of Lesbian Connection on the dining table once and had someone helping with check-ins that day. I'm sure quite a few people saw it & in Southern VA everyone knows each others business.

I don't hide who I am but at the same time I don't wear a sign. If someone ask me point blank then I would not deny it. I believe the best way to live is by example, be who you are and act as if its nothing different.

www.dancingcreekfarm.com

I THINK BEING OUT AT WORK DEPENDS WHERE YOU ARE. I KNOW WITH MY CURRENT COMPANY EVERYONE KNOWS, AND IS PRETTY OK WITH IT. BUT I DID WORK FOR A COMPANY THAT EVERYONE LIKED ME, TILL THEY FOUND OUT. PEOPLE ARE STILL VERY MUCH CLOSE MINDED ON THIS.

I didn't think it would go well...working on a small team (6)that is a part of a large franchise. The other manager and one staff member talked about church all the time. They were the last 2 on the team to tell, because I was afraid especially as an equal and a supervisor. Much to my surprise it went well!
The only mistake I made was my own insecurity in not trusting my team. I should have known it would not change anything. Now I am out to several corporate staff as well and I have no fear of being out to anyone.
I look at it this way...they either love you or hate you. If they hate you...were they worth it anyway?

One of the bad things about not being out at work is the accompanying lies that can follow. Whether they're about who you're seeing, doing that week-end or simply acts of omission.

You could end up having to quit because you've told so many lies, this happened to me when I was younger.

You can be fired because a supervisor could see it as a lack of confidence and honesty on your part once the truth is known about you.

It's harder to make friends and as you get older a lot of friends can come from your workplace.

You build a wall around yourself whether you know it or not and you shut people out.

We need to honestly see the world as it really is, not as we'd like it to be.
If you're in college, consider what it may be like once you join the work force...maybe teaching isn't the best career choice for you.
Pick a field that you can be yourself and be comfortable with co-workers knowing who that self is.

I'm really glad to see this topic posted. It is one of the things that I seem to be struggling with the most right now. I've "sort of" come out to co-workers. I work for a fairly large company and most in my dept know, and if anyone asked I surely I would tell them. But it's not easy. The hardest part about it is all the gay jokes that really aren't funny. Even though I have spoken up and told some of these immature idiots how I feel, they don't seem to care and carry on with their nasty comments. I like my job, and I've been with this company for nearly 3 years, but I can't stand some..or rather most of my co-workers. Even though I wear my rainbow necklace and hold my head up, I know that they are whispering and talking about me behind my back. In my presence, they just continue with their non-sense and gay bashing. I never even put up with this crap when I was back in school!!! Being a mom with three kids and a male partner, most assume me to be hetrosexual, but anyone who knows me knows that's not the case. Comming out as a bisexual woman has been an ongoing battle, and probably will be for several years to come as I face different issues. Yet I have come to accept myself for who I am and I think that is something to be proud of. I don't think that I can just sit back anymore and feel this uncomfortable in the workplace. I plan on taking this the next step and filing a complaint, even if I end up having to change jobs. Gay rights need to be protected, especially in the workplace. Maybe if enough of us take a stand than our children, or our grandchildren won't incure similar hatered.

I tried the other day--it came up in conversation, but then the phone rang and I had to pick it up. :0(

A wise woman once told me, "Game spots game."

The Company has great diversity programs, and no discrimation bla bla bla... But when it gets down o the people level you never know. You don't know how your direct manager thinks, would he hold you back if he knew you're gay? These things make me think and just not say anything. I don't make up stright relationship stories, but I don't go telling anyone I'm gay either. Maybe when I get married I'll tell some people, I'd like my wife to have all the beneffits I have here.

Cames!

I'm not out at work, but I've only been at this gig for 4 months. There are only three of us and we don't talk about personal lives really. Plus I'm the only one in the office 85% of the time (my boss is out on maternity leave for the summer and the exec. director comes in at her leisure).

If someone asked me, I'd tell the truth, but so far I haven't felt the timing has been right.

--Jess
"A battle of wits is no fun with an unarmed person"-- Anonymous

I am not necessarily stone butch, but I am definitely not feminine, so I guess I may invite questions - which I don't offer to answer. I have gotten hit on by guys before at work, and my answer is always the same "thanks, but not into dating anyone from work, no offense." I don't date or play at work. I like to keep drama out of my paycheck.

But also too, I live and work in Maryland. Maryland is ....interesting. We are aware that Dupont Circle is right around the corner, but we are also a tad conservative. There are no gay bashings here (that I have heard of) but it's amazing how many gay republicans I know here!

I also worked in Virginia, and staying in the closet was a survival skill. Virginia doesn't even have a hate crime protection law covering sexual orientation - so there you go!

I say coming out at work depends on the company/organization you work for, and how accepting they are. If you are out to meet and greet, there is no reason to hide. I worked part-time once at REI and everyone there knew, because I wanted to meet people and didn't care about the money or consequences.

I started a new job about 7 months ago and I'm certainly not out. It's an all women office full of (mostly) older women with children, and they seem a little conservative. So yea, totally not out.... yet.

g.f.annie
Yes, for 35 years. Started at the factory at 19. Been a shop steward.
Not particularly well received in 1973 but, now that I'm an old fart it doesn't seem to be a big deal to anyone.
Had several jobs that used to be quaintly called "non-traditional", worked mostly with men over the years, still do. With 2 exceptions, most were okay.
I am as good a welder as any of them and was respected for that. After that, no doubt my pure and blithe effervesence won them over. HA!

Nope, I am not out at work. I'd love to be, but I'm not. I had a bad experience at my last job. Long story short, my manager didn't like the fact I was gay. She never said it, but it was clear in her facial expressions. She was partial to the male employees, not the women, and certainly not me. I don't work there anymore.

I am really afraid that the same thing will happen. Even though where I work now is a group of much nicer people.

Really, it shouldn't matter what you do in your bedroom as opposed to what you do for your job. ~ John Barrowman.

I'm sort of out at work. I haven't announced it, but I don't hide it, either. There are a few co-workers I'm close to who know because we've talked about it. Others are probably clueless, but if they asked, I would be happy to tell them the truth. I wear my rainbow earrings on occasion, and I have a pic of my girl as my screensaver, though...so who knows? :)

I am a pediatric oncologist. I am out at work with my colleagues and all the nurses, social workers, administrative staff, etc. I have worn a transparent rainbow on my ID badge holder for years, which is a beacon for teens needing to confide in a safe person or a colorful sticker that little kids love and parents who aren't "friendly" won't get. One of the oncologists in our department has been out for years (but years after he joined the dept, I should add), which certainly paved the way for me to be open and honest about who I am at work. Still, I am terrified that should some of my patients' parents find out, they won't want me to take care of their kids anymore. Or worse, the kids themselves will be repulsed. I am fortunate to have the respect of my patients and their families, and usually it's a comfortable, trusting relationship. But would my Spanish-speaking immigrant family who currently trusts me unconditionally understand? That uber-Christian family? Certainly not the mother whose daughter (my patient) is clearly butch...she has already cried her parenting woes on my shoulder, worrying, "And what do I do about drugs and sex and the gays and the LESBIANS?!" I wish it weren't this way.

It's kinda hard to be out and proud in my kind of job. There are consequences that if you are proven to be that way they might spare you as long as you didn't commit anything against their stupid rules.... So uh yeah

Im not out at work. I work at a daycare in the infant room. so my babies don't know what gay is so they don't need to know. Plus i work with 20 women. So i dont even share my personal life with them bc its way to much drama when u do.

I'm out at work...I guess it isn't really hard in Northern Virginia...we're a blue speck on a red state. Everyone is cool with it, and it also helps because now, i don't have the guys looking at me like I am fresh meat. I work for Noodles and Company...restaurant business....its nice to be out...as if my rainbow belt didn't say it all. :D

Also, there are like 3 other LGBT people. We have two gay guys, one of them a shift manager, and another lesbian. We're a happy work family and everyone else is cool with it.

When a co-worker asks me if I'm married, I say "No, I'm gay. I have a long time partner though." I think it is easier on everyone if you are just blunt with the information.

If a customer asks if I'm married I just say "No." If they press (because I wear a ring), I'll tell them I have a partner and leave it at that. I have quite a few gay customers and I love to see the quirkly little smile they get when they understand what I'm saying :)