I think it is possible for two people to be friends after a break up. I am currently working on becoming friends again with my ex of 7 months right now lol. Its hard because I never had someone break up with me and want to keep talking and hang out before.
What you have to do is set boundaries for you and for her. She can't treat you any different than the way she treats her other friends. Don't treat her any differently than you would treat your own friends. Don't jump when she says jump.
Don't try to become the best of friends right of way either, it will take time. You may still love and care for her but its has to be shown in a friend way instead of a relationship way...if that makes sense.

i mean my ex and i broke up and we are best friends. if anything id say our relationship made us closer. we know so much more about each other and we still care about each other. as long as there was no reason for her to dislike you it will work its way out. although you may need time away, to get over her in the sense that you are no longer dating. but once you can accept that, a friendship is alway possible. and you never know, someday you may get back together but dont over analyse things and think so. sorry if this isnt very clear. but i wish you luck. either way things will work out for the best

jt =)

Well it´s up to your ex and you, for example, I still talk with one of my ex, also I was talking like best friends with another ex, but because what I felt for her was so intense, my new girlfriend doesn´t let me talk with her, for jealousy, I respect that now, cause to me It doesn´t matter that you can be friends with your ex, but as well you need to respect your gf feelings, for example she can talk with another of my ex....

so it depends

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"Don't forget that I cannot see myself. My role is limited to being the one who looks in the mirror."
Jacques Rigaut

I think that maybe is the operative term here. I think it really depends on what type of person you are and what type of person your ex is. In addition, how hard you fall/fell for this person and who did the breaking up would definitely play a role in whether or not you could be friends.
Having said this...2 months is not enough time to heal the heartache of the end of a 2 year relationship. She broke up with you, right? She wants to be your friend right? She is clearly not thinking of what you're truly feeling...or you're trying very hard not to let her know. Either way, if you are to be her friend, it should be when YOU are ready and on YOUR terms. Not everyone deals with emotions the same way and your ex needs to understand with.

I am assuming that the two of you have mutual friends. Please...speaking from experience...do not shut yourself up and let your ex continue with the same life and friends that you had as a couple. Be sure to make time for these people in your life, even if they are still associated with your ex...they could, and most likely will be, instrumental in your healing process...and they will keep your connection to the lesbian community strong.

GOOD LUCK!!!

For me, if it lasted longer than a year, then probably not. Only because I, selfishly, would not want to see my ex with someone else. Although, I would want them to be happy of course but it would be hard for me to grasp the fact that I wasn't the one to provide them that. Mo D.

Kinda echoing what most people have said...it takes time.
I'm not friends with my exes but a lot of my other friends are. Sometimes people make the mistake of thinking they're ready to be friends...but then they see their ex with someone else and they realise they weren't ready to take that step.

I guess it just takes time, time and then some time.

As long there were no guns exposed during the breakup I think you MUST be friends with your ex. You can't love someone, like someone, enjoy someone's company and the other day realize you can't say hello and sit on the same table at a cafeteria.

But most of the people I know become strangers when they break up. I don't know, maybe they're "afraid" of their emotions or feel bad for cheating on each other... I'm not sure...

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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.

I AM who I AM

No one has ever touched my heart and soul as she did.

We dated for 15 months. She had been in one "same sex" relationship prior to ours which ended a year after she moved in with the woman... because she couldn't live the lifestyle and wanted to try and make it work with her husband. We met a year later... I knew she was living at home with her husband but that they had separate rooms and she was just biding her time till she could afford to move out. (I know BIG red flag!!)

After we first met she went back to Houston, came out to a co-worker and then her two children. We shopped together for the house that she bought and we were planning a life together. We would see each other every 4 to 6 weeks for a week or so at a time.

We started having problems about 2 months ago, she said she was having problems doing the distance thing... i understood and offered to take a leave from work, move there and if it worked for both of us she knew i would sell my home so we could be together; she said that wasn't possible because it would "out" her. She was terribly afraid of coming out to her family and friends.. that rejection thing.. i'm guessing. then, she didn't think she could live the lifestyle... (did we hear that before..) she was confused and said she needed time to figure out what she wanted.

Being the advocate I am on working on ones self, how could i not agree.. We still talked, text, IM"d everything as we did before.. just didn't see one another (she canceled two trips we had planned) . Two weeks later I get an IM saying "I'm moving forward in life".. I figured Ok... this is a good thing!

Then a day later ( last week) I get an offline IM saying that she was attracted to someone and dating them for the last few weeks.. a "bio Male"... She said she needed normalcy in her life and that she wanted her old life back. and get this.. she tells me "he looks at me like you do, he touches me like you do", and... are you ready.. "he looks like you do" and... " I would really like to remain best friends." An offline IM.. !!!

So i at this point in time don't even know if I want to remain friends with her and if so how in the hell to go about it, either.. I really thought she was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with... and she wants to be friends.

So ROLZ... I can relate.. and I don't know if and how one goes about moving into a friendship after sharing such a deep level of intimacy.. but what I know from other relationships I've had.. is that if we take six months with out talking to them... that sometimes.. not always but sometimes... we can move forward and still have them a part of our lives... just in a different capacity.

It's easier said then done... I know... and as I sit here writing this.. I'm feeling like how in the hell am I gonna get through this... BUT like you I will.. yes it is possible, after time, to be friends... question is... do we really want to be friends with someone thats hurt us as much as they did?? I don't know my answer to that, YET!

Good luck in your search for your answers,
jd

My ex and I dated for like 3 years.
We are still friends now.
We have had some trouble but it is getting better.

The only problem is the fact she is jealous of the guy I am dating and is not ready to see me with someone else yet even though she has been dating her girlfriend for like 2 and half months.

The main problem I have had is the new relationships.
Her new girlfriend is not comfortable with me being around,and the guy I am dating has no jealousy problems.

It is hard seeing them move on but she is one of my 2 best friends.
It is possible but it takes work.

It's tricky...I think it could only work if neither party has any feelings for the other remaining. Otherwise, it just gives one or the other false hope that the relationship could be ignited again.

When she broke up with me citing unfinished business with her ex, she said she still liked me and wanted to stay friends. Since I was leaving for home the second day after that, she asked if we could hang out before then.

We did, and actually ended up sleeping together :/ So now it's just this messy deal where I'm unsure whether she's finishing her unfinished business, wants to keep me on the side as backup if things don't work out with her ex, or seriously just wants to be friends.

It's just too fucking much. Don't jump into friendships with exes until YOU'RE ready, never mind what she wants right now.

no...I've tried and we ended up being friends with benefits then catching feelings then hearts breaking again, etc.

Ex's can't be friends...possible to be friends but in my expreience no.

my "can u be friends with your ex" rule is this; as soon as we're okay with seeing each other in a new relationship/dating thing without jealousy and can be genuinely happy for each other...then we can be friends.

I'm friends with 2 of my exes and have no contact whatsoever with 2. Hmmmmm......

I think it depends on the level of trust and respect you had with her during the relationship.

Perhaps it's possible after a long long time has gone by. I believe that the best thing for both parties after a break up is to just get on with your lives separately and apart from each other. My ex (we were together for 8 years and split about a year ago) would love to be friends, but I just can't do it. Any contact with her brings me emotionally right back to the torment of our breakup and that is just not healthy. My situation may be different than others, but for me right now it's just not possible for us to be friends. Maybe a few years from now, but not now. Only you can decide what's healthiest for you, but it sounds to me as though a little time and space would be the best thing for you.