I'm probably older than most of you lovely ladies..several years I dated a woman (lawyer) 18 years younger than me. I was 40..she was whatever! She purse me like I was a thoroughbred horse..Of course, I finally acquiesced, couldn't help myself, she was smart and adorable. I think I was attracted to her because of her intellligence and sincereity. For a young person, she was rather "old" in many ways..She was extremly romantic and was rather a home body. For me, I think she was attracted to me because, yes, I am very sure of myself, smart and successful., but more than this, I was unselfish with her. I gave her what she wanted..lots of attention. She gave me everything I wanted as well, and we had grrreeaaat sex! In the end, and there were several ends, we split up....I ended it,and with much remorse. Guess what, she is with another older woman!! Who da thunk it?

Yes, I don't think it really matters when it comes to matters of the heart..if two people have the same values and common interests then these 2 people can learn a lot from each other, and have a successful and happy relationship...look at: Annette Benning & Warren Beatty; Carole Lombard and Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe & Arthur Miller (hoever, I think Marilyn was looking for a father images), Demi & Ashton, Joe and Mary, Suzanne & Betty!!! Joking.

I agree with Bilderbabe, :stigma is just bullshit".

But what do you call a young woman hunting for cougars?

Lets say 18-ish looking for 40 & above?

(Hehehe shameless self promotion. >,<)

Cougars come & get me! *,*

But then again, do you still count as prey if you want to be hunted? o_o

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If it were possible for me to love you, I would love you for forever.

i, too, was quoted in that article, and i, too, sound like a blithering idiot. although you didn't sound so idiotic as much as you did lecherous, which is a bit better i think.
love,
katie

so what do you call the cougars who are actually the prey?
i'm 26 and would MUCH rather be with an older woman...so i'm usually the predator and they are really the prey... do the unsuspecting lovely older women really count as cougars then?

Hmm. I think there's as much responsibility for performativity as an "audience member" as there is as a "performer." In other words, gender is in the eye of the beholder as much as in the beheld.

I used to have an over-30-only rule and then I dated a 37-year-old who had daddy issues the size of the Grand Canyon...she was way, way less mature than the teenager with whom I'd liaised earlier that year, who was, actually, pretty mature, no comparisons needed. I don't know what to think anymore.

There’s nothing more alluring than an older woman. Maybe it’s the way in which she moves with ease, comfortable inside her own skin. She’s sure of herself, a quiet confidence that follows her everywhere. She’s hard to shake, hard to read. Handles most things with finesse. She says what’s on her mind and means what she says. She’s direct and honest, expecting the same. – no bullshit, no games. She loathes “yes men” and liars that much worse. She can carry on an intelligent conversation more than thirty seconds. She’s witty with a wicked sense of humor. She has the biggest heart you’d ever see, if you were ever lucky enough to get that close, but hides it extremely well.

Maybe all of the above. Maybe it’s just the type of personality I’m attracted to. Maybe it’s her legs or at least how she looks in those perfectly ironed dress slacks. Whatever it is, I’m sold – hook, line, sinker.

That’s me with cougar crushes. It’s intimidating. At the same time, absolutely erotic every time we “run into” each other at the office. Wish I could say this was a one off b/c I have so much more control with my own age group. However, it appears to be the norm.

For me, women just get better with age.

Peace & Love,
P~

...to date an older women, for the simple reason that I might get the dreaded "Oh, is this your daughter??" comment. Implied incest is not hot.
Although, I suppose that would be a factor playing into stigma as well...

and her oversimplified, Butlerian ideas about performativity!

In other words: instead of thinking about the "other" or "audience", which is necessitated by Butler's Hegelian-derivative concept of "performativity," think about the fashioning of the self not as a kind of performativity that requires an other, but instead think of the self as a piece of art. Understood as art, the body has the capacity to augment and transform itself (with fleshy and non-fleshy materials). One "lives" (in the Nietzschean sense) when one makes art of oneself and *for* oneself.

"So, if appearance is all performative, I suppose it’s just a matter of the audience getting used to it."

yes! and that's why it's great to wear what might stigmatize you with pride. obviously there's nothing wrong with an older woman being with a younger woman. stigma is just bullshit social shame we internalize that functions to keep power structures in place! i.e patriarchy!!! uh! i loovveee flaunting stigma fabulously and fearlessly. it really fucks with people in the best of ways.

Thank you for this post!