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thehookup@ourchart.comBette & Tina are so much more but what are they really???
January 30, 2008 - 5:39pm — STVBuddyMatch(If you read the whole thing it really is good, I promise)
Ok, I'm a die hard loyal 110% fan of the L Word, and a 1010% Fan of Bette & Tina. I love the Kiss Like so many of us did, as one Ourchart member said "if I muted my TV I'm sure I would have heard every lesbian fan screaming with joy"
Bravo Showtime and producers! Well with all that said lets get down to it. I have recently been captivated by reading the relationship forums here on ourchart, in some part searching for understanding on some serious issues I feel a bit lost on. Also I just LOVE reading EVERYONE's wonderful thoughts on the Bette/Tina/Jodi triangle.
Now the topic I find most interesting here on ourchart is the "Great Bi/Lesbian" debate. Which generally gets more heated than the 08 debates.
I asks everyone to sit with me as "I dissect my Own personal views" of the Bette & Tina romance all from the point of the kiss.
If you did Tivo it, watch it again, or watch the replay tonight on Showtime.
The kiss took place in what I call "3 vital parts". I believe so much can be said in just the expressions of the characters in the scene. Even the music track adds to my summary.
1st: Bette finally putting her guard down and taking Tina back.
Tina's stunned and doesn't want to let go, nor does she want Bette to let go. Totally savoring the moment.
2nd: Bette slowing down and in so many ways just telling her "this" "we are real". Tina breathes it all in knowing 100% where she wants to be FOREVER!
3rd: Bette is fighting herself and is forced to face her true feelings.
Tina stands strong for Bette and lets her know she will take care of her when she is weak. Tina OWNS this stage of the kiss. This part reminds ME so much of Boys on the side- "I got you baby"
Now I'm sure some people will not like me for MY OPINION but honestly it is my thoughts, so here goes.
In season 1 while we truly loved Bette we hated her actions, and the pain on Tina's face when she realized Bette's betrayal, an after they made angry love, she appeared broken at Alice house. If you have the DVD watch it again. Tina has always took good care of Bette whenever she is weak like in the shower that day.
In season 2 Bette fought kicking and screaming back into our good graces and won her lady back mind, body, and soul. Bette allowed Tina to take charge and accepted her terms completely, even as we wanted to scream an ask Tina not to tourture her too much. And we wanted to vanish Helena to a distant land far far away from our couple.
In season 3 we though we were going to lose our mind when Tina does the UNTHINKABLE she not only leaves Bette who worked so hard to get her back but she leaves for a MAN. OMG Oh no not the M word. Oh sorry Bette...
In season 4 we have a new target to blame. I LOVE Marley Matlin 100%. I even like Jodi to a good degree. Do I like her more than Bette & Tina not a chance. However was her character needed, YES 110%. First b/c we needed Bette to heal from the loss of Tina and to a man no less. We needed Bette even thought she is exteranally the strongest character, to be strong inside again.
We needed Tina to really think about what she wanted for her life. Also in some way we needed Tina to suffer and to fight for Bette since she did the actual leaving this past time. We needed Tina to stay the strong character she had become but still soft enough to admit that she was still completely in love with Bette and she *ucked Up. We tested her by making her be "just a friend" WOW she has grown so much as a character it is great.
Now Season 5 is here and we all want our Bette and Tina back no matter what. Jodi is not mean to Bette but WE want our Bette and Tina. Everyone gets so mad at Jodi come on give it a break. Bette can not fully commit to Jodi b/c her heart is with Tina and it always has been that's it.
The truth of the matter is this Bette needs Tina, and Tina needs Bette. THE KEY is they balance each other out. Remember last week when Tina told Jodi good for her for not letting Bette blow her off for a benefit. Tina understands now where she often in standing by Bette and being there for her she did not always stand up for what SHE really wanted or more importantly NEEDED. So Bette not b/c she didn't love Tina totally blew stuff off. Bette was too business consumed and self involved at times, this is true if we admit it or not.
Now I ask this, do we dislike Tina b/c she did in fact leave Bette for a "MAN" and it did hurt Bette a lot. Do we believe that Tina is a 100% Lesbian or do we believe that Tina is just 100% in love with Bette and doesn't want anyone else (man or woman)? Lets remember Tina was originally dating a man when Bette literally stole her heart and they started out. I believe that is season 2 we see this. Tina left Bette b/c she felt incomplete. Hey Bette cheated but Tina did at least come to Bette and tell her she was thinking about being with a man, SHE did not cheat at that point. Bette closed her off and instead of looking at their relationship and herself, or asking Tina more about this Bette shut down.
I believe that it was easy for Tina b/c she felt being with a man was easier b/c it is mostly physical, season 4 "what were we thinking, We were thinking we liked *ucking each other and it was fun" Tina and whatever his name was arguing in the kitchen. LOL
Bette & Tina rule, but it also reminds me of QAF we could not wait for Brian to tell Justin his feelings and it was well worth the wait. I do not think you have to be a lesbian to love a truly beautiful love story.
Also and I know everyone will really dislike this, I really believe Tina is bi but 100% in love with Bette, no one man or woman can mean more to Tina than Bette. Hey this is my feeling. It is based on the fact that I have NEVER met a Lesbian= "a woman who only likes women" ENJOY having sex with a real guy on more than one occasion watch season 3 again, Tina looked like she was definitely enjoying herself, then later the next season she looks at Bette and realizes they were more than sex they were Lovers and Partners.
Season 5 "so what are you doing for sex" "Its not like when we were together I didn't go months without sex" The Bette and Tina romance is heating up and it will be a battle for us to get them back together the season just started Showtime is not going to give them back to us so easy without a fight.
Well folks if anyone read this whole thing what do you think of my synopsis?
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Deep Lurkers work very well too Chant...
LONG LIVE TIBETTE: That is my STORY and I am sticking to it !!
~Feel your intentions in your heart. Feel not what your mind tells you, but what your heart tells you ~
LDAWN
http://www.ourchart.com/blogs/i-sang-with-her-there
LMAO... ALWAYS....
LMAO... Chant you made me smile...
Totally priceless... Really not just my silly Bette smile a real smile... See :-)
AND of course you can be a "DEEP lurker" you know you are great at that... and you know that I know when you are here b/c you always bring stuff back from pages back... LMAO way too funny...
BUT of course my friend you can always COME HOME... what can I say I guess I am just insane but I just love this couple and well... I will wait until they "the powers that be" decide to officially share some info with us... I really want this last season to go off with a great send off and just unspoiled by so much other stuff...
I think our Tibette hearts deserve some form of relief... gosh it has been what 5 years of bumpy-ness :-) SO Chant lurk as much as you like... an if the bug bites you to actually jump in from time to time please feel free you know I always try and draw you out when I know you are near by :-)
Right now we are in a wild discussion of TIBF's Great question about B&T love and what it is to them and also we are still discussing the mixed signals in some parts here... it really is interesting how it has spun... but of course you know I will try and bring us something new to ponder or one of our wonderful residents will bring a new question that makes our heads all do a double take... LMAO :-)
So sit back and enjoy... I'm sure you know we all WRITE more than enough to be entertained for days... LMAO :-) Hey an feel free to post us some great pics if you like so we know you are ok an not too lost in the pages :-)
Love & FRIENDSHIP ALWAYS~
B&T FOREVER
STV
what is love?
So, I have a curious question for everyone. If Bette or Tina (either/or, or both) were asked the question "What is love?" how do you think they would answer that question?
~~~~
Bette: "I did not f**k off, I f**ked up. I did not go, I'm still here."
what is love, Let me count the Bette ways
Awe.......I think that Bette would very clearly know what Love is to her...it is partnership, passion, integrity, emotional, intense, giving, unconditional, present, aware, eternal, painful, hurtful, forgiving, loyalty and most of all love is everlasting.
Yeah well some of you might say are we talking about Bette the serial cheater. You see I do not see that personna, I see a women who is very passionate about all things, who beleives there is possiblity in everything. Who hold her ideals so high that sometimes she cannot herself meet them but for Bette her feelings are all consuming. She feels what she feels and wants what she wants. She beleives that no matter what, no matter how hurt you may be it is always important to never leave to stay and to forgive. For no matter how high her standards are she has a heart that forgives and loves unconditionally. She also knows that her ideals get her into trouble with others becasue they hold the bar even when she drops it. Yet she knows what she wants and is not afraid to go for it over and over again. For her Love is her family, a family that she has craved for since she was little. the security of that one person who will never leave her alone, who no matter what will accept who she is. It is that unconditional need in her that she offers to those around her. Love for Bette is f***** up but not F****off..becasue in the end she will be there !!!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DkmXLotFXSQ
~Feel your intentions in your heart. Feel not what your mind tells you, but what your heart tells you ~
LDAWN
http://www.ourchart.com/blogs/i-sang-with-her-there
Just let me double STV's WOW, WOW!
First, you were very brave just to take on this question. Next, you were so quick and sure in your response as to blow my mind. Third, you put words to feelings that often make us speechless. You captured to positives and the negatives (energy) of it. Greata job!!!! ATK
ATK
WOW.... Speechless...
Ummm My HERO LD....
Ok bear with me... You know my soft heart well... Ok I was supposed to be continuing my work I am CURRENTLY doing for my ATK post.... LMAO But see I checked into our HOME here to see how we were doing as usual... UMMM I was floored by this TOTALLY DEEP question from our dear TIBF... I said GOSH this woman will do anything to ESCAPE an STV comeback post... on the True coming clean of our dear TINA... LMAO... WAY too funny... WOW she threw a stunner in here on this one.... TOTALLY FLOORED me... I went ummmm R U KIDDING me but still had not gathered my ideas to put here yet I was trying to stay TOTALLY FOCUSED on my ATK post see I want to make sure I get that one correct b/c it is not about agreeing or disagreeing with ATK... B/c she KNOWS I totally Bow... She knows this :-) BUT some times we have to just LOOK at things different ways to see how they all fit kinda like a puzzle :-)
So my ATK post well I want to make sure I state myself correctly in the right fit... But see here TIBF is back at us SWINGING... and striking out players on top of that... HATS off TIBF... SERIOUSLY I will have to get this one as soon as I gather myself :-)
But my dear sister LD...
I have to tell you that well you actually brought tears to my eyes... an I know all of our Bette SISTERS are screaming OMG... we are so exposed... BUT you know what It was OPEN and VERY HONEST... and gosh... it was so good I do not even want to touch it... but see I will just to show you my personal fav parts... GOSH... if this were not HOME I would never show this...
"She beleives that no matter what, no matter how hurt you may be it is always important to never leave to stay and to forgive. For no matter how high her standards are she has a heart that forgives and loves unconditionally."
"For her Love is her family, a family that she has craved for since she was little. the security of that one person who will never leave her alone, who no matter what will accept who she is. It is that unconditional need in her that she offers to those around her. Love for Bette is f***** up but not F****off..becasue in the end she will be there !!!"
GOSH LD... I man really this was so much just reading it again... gets me a bit coughed up... ok... MY dear friend, sister, and HERO... Thank you... this Bette INSIDE look was well just amazing and the MOST real look at BETTE you will ever see... Yeah see Bette she is a BIT complex... and well some how through the pain and everything SHE still stays and she STILL tries she is the one who is always TRYING... ALWAYS~
And see this piece was so amazing... I will really bring myself to this piece I mean GOSH my Great Hero has set the Bette bar and see I know when true excellence has spoken to just sit and AGREE... WONDERFUL!
Thanks LD and TIBF for this... AMAZING :-)
Love & Friendship & Bette SISTERHOOD
B&T FOREVER
STV
Now you are REALLY scaring me!
I'm going to need some of that unconditional love LDAWN talked about when I finally get to read your response!!??!!
ATK
Don't be afraid...I am unconditional.....that is one of the
many things Bette and I have in common.......
I have more on the energy topic....I will write as I gather my thoughts....god so much thought here...I love it We are all truly soul sisters.....
~Feel your intentions in your heart. Feel not what your mind tells you, but what your heart tells you ~
LDAWN
http://www.ourchart.com/blogs/i-sang-with-her-there
More Tibette
Beautiful
Sarah
Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful piece with us all absolutely amazing...
We so love just being able to see this beautiful display of love...
B&T FOREVER
Love & Friendship
STV
STV
Thank you...Im really happy you like them. xx
Woot!
Thanks, Sarah!!
~~~~
Bette: "I did not f**k off, I f**ked up. I did not go, I'm still here."
Very Welcome..
:) xx
A QUICK NOTE...
Hello wonderful HOME...
Well just a quick house keeping note... PLEASE bear with me...
Well ladies I am sure we have all seen the news or rumors surrounding the spin-off and or end of our dear sweet Tibette no matter how you may have heard this info we all know at this stage it is well JUST THAT A RUMOR...
SO my dear friends YOU all know I would not ask this of you all if I really did not feel so PASSIONATELY about it... Please know this is a humble heart felt REQUEST ONLY...
LADIES can we PLEASE keep the Rumor mill to a LOW... I ask b/c well MY dear Tibette heart is having enough of a time dealing with the fact of well our official last season... NOW the slight chance that we could lose one of our dear Tibette members and then some wild spin-off well it is just a bit much especially considering THE SEASON IS STILL BEING TAPED as we speak... So ladies please bear with me an I do apologize for asking this of us all but really I KNOW we have several members who are just PURELY hurt by SPOILERS and some of our mentions here... AND while they may not say this out loud I will in efforts to well keep us all together...
NOW I purpose a alternative... I have added a new forum so anyone wishing to post any questions abut SPOILERS or B&T possible departures can well post them all there... and everyone who wants to post would fully know well hey this is the kind of content that is being discussed...
LADIES again I ask that we please understand my humble request as I can see this entire thing taking on a life of its own and see we are still months away from the the new season so I KNOW this will only GROW from here...
THANK YOU ALL FOR listening to my humble request... and LADIES please if anyone has any concern about this PLEASE let me know either here in OUR HOME or via PM... YOU all know I am nothing if not ALWAYS looking out for our HOME and trying to keep us all on a POSITIVE and upbeat note... and CONSTANTLY RESPECTING EACH OTHER an all our residents even those who will not PUBLICLY speak out their concerns...
So as you will all see the new forum is easily seen in our forum section here so feel free to post away and just have a blast with it all... YOU know I love any GREAT discussion of B&T but on this matter I would so love if we all tried to see this a bit more in a different arena... I so hope this makes sense... An everyone PLEASE know this is not meant in anyway but a POSITIVE manner... ALWAYS~
Link to spin-off discussion forum... http://www.ourchart.com/forums/bette-tina-spin-discussion-really ENJOY!
THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE....
BETTE & TINA FOREVER!
LOVE & FRIENDSHIP & RESPECT
STV
Good idea STV!
I'm trying to take the whole 'chatter' in moderation... ~_^
*** ***
"Sit, clarify the great matter, and understand the essence..." ~Dogen~
OH Twin how I missed Thee
You know it's going to sound rather strange but while theres so much going on in my "reality" it's really nice to come back home and vist with some amazing woman. Congrats is in order to FoxyLady for her amazing review of the Truecolors event
now onto some real discussions reguarding our beloved Alpha T. what I really noticed with Tina this season more than anything is we REALLY got a chance to see her emotions and fears. For example
Season one: Tina was very much "the woman behind Bette" trying to make things as easy as possible for Bette and making sure she was 100% Happy however never truly looking within herself to see if she her self was as happy. I belive she was more into putting her feelings aside and not voicing her emotions as much as she could have * personally I think the writting for Tina was very much slacking sadly*
But then here we are with the Alpha Tina in season 5. Now I dont use the term new and improved for the simple fact I belive this Alphaness she's showing has always been inside. Mind you after being with Bette for so long she's learned how to truly be on her own feet without any help from anyone. Alpha Tina really let her heart be shown more than ever and even though the fear WAS there & still is I belive she's finally going after whatever she wants and not in the preditor type of way either. 506 is a perfect example I belive she knew going over to Bettes was going to arise more than just talking about Angie & Jodi's cooking but I dont think she did it just to do and prove her power. ALP.T doesn't need Bette she WANTS Bette is her comfort and while being around Bette gives her that feeling of " coming home"
now as we all know with most of us Bettes we have our "berlin wall of emotions and fears" that we keep ever so high and it's no surprise that sort of rubbed off on Alpha T. Tina doesnt always voice her emotions for the fear of the unknown. She doesn't know if Bette is still feeling the same love for her or had it change now that Jodi had moved into Bettes life. She doesnt want to drop the ball and fear once again of f*cking it up. Also T has to keep so much inside because who can she truly talk to. Shane & Alice are in their own relationships with issues and also they ARE friends with Bette & remember the bad times B&T shared. Look at 509 when she just tried to hang out with Sam * although many took her as trying to go on a date with her by asking her out to dinner ,she wasn't* she's crying out for someone to listen who isn't apart of the situation & at that moment T needed anyone. So now even more she's keeping her emotions inside.
It's become a role switch between these two woman as we see in the elevator. Bette the one whose voicing her feelings to Tina , telling her she loves her more than once and reaching out for the love of her life once again to feel her heart and have to chance to come home. while we have Tina ever slowly lowering that wall that confides us all and even though in her mind she slightly still belives Bette is only feeling this because techinally they are having an affair, realizes and reconoizes*sp* her Bette and see's Bette allowing her in , Alpha T can't help but fall back into the arms of love she once never thought would hold her again , but here these two woman are being open and real with each other more than they probally Ever have... and completely in love
- gees i guess you could say i get very lost within my post and probally rambled on, way to long
Great insight into Tina's heart!
I love this post. Tina is a little hard to read sometimes but I think you really got her. I think you're right about her wall still being up to an extent...she doesn't fully trust that this relationship is going to work out. Probably because there is still so much that is unresolved between them and now Bette has unresolved issues with Jodi too.
Too SWEET....
LMAO AWE Twin...
You are showing your softer side... AWE... I just smile when I see you showing your Tina heart and compassion.. too sweet and you know I totally AGREE with all said... but see MY whole discussion this week was on how TIna well she seemed to give off quite a bit of mixed signals here fro our DEAR confused Bette dear o really understand at times...
Now do not get me wrong we LOVE ALPHA T of course but see with GREAT Power comes Great responsibility... This is true an we all know it... and see while TINA did not have her normal group of support when DOES Bette EVER HAVE that COMFORT or zone of SUPPORT and they all wonder why she stays on guard and closes off to so many... she is just used to having TO be tough... NOT that she ALWAYS wants to have this JOB but she takes it... and rolls with the punches...
ANd see she ALWAYS takes the plunges thus the KISS that is why I love 506 Stir-fry Tina HAD to take the PLunges or run the risk of letting Bette fall through her fingers... see how hard that was... BUT she stood up like a real trooper as we Bette HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN tina to be a real ALPHA... but at times she herself lost TRACK of that... she should know if she does in fact KNOW us better than we know ourselves... LMAO as so many wonderful TINA's here have said she should know that what has always drawn us to her is HER STRENGTH... PERIOD and all other things just fall into that :-)
We so love her quite PASSIVE and sometimes ASSERTIVE ALPHANESS :-) Gosh Twin More an more like me everyday... I love it YOur NOVELS are so wonderful... ALL SMILES!!!
B&T FOREVER!
Love & Bette SISTERHOOD FOREVER & Twinness~
STV
A QUICK NOTE...
Moved ABOVE... LMAO... trying to keep this on top for ALL to See...
Forgive me for the multiple post...
STV
IM BACK
Heyyyyyyy everyone Oh how I've misssed all of you
it's been a real tough couple weeks. so ive been really keeping to myself and putting my Bette wall up. Boy I'm really missing me some Tibette. I'm in the begining steps to move to the west coast which includes myself along with my disabled grandmother my fiance and our three cats not even including the massive "packing" we've started. Ehh Massachuttes has really taken a toll on me & my family so off to the west I go.
maybe when i get out there I'll open up my own "Planet" & have all of you guys move out there an we can start our own little L WORLD :D
But back to the reason we're all here
So give me a little so I can sort of catch up with all of you and I'll be roaring in with my 2.cents
Speaking of the TLW spin off I'd love to see our beloved couple for an 1 hour just by themselves...but it'll def not be the same. As much as it's gets to be annoying with the random Jenny antics or the typical Shane mess...I'm used to it & love it all. But that doesn't mean I wont be addicted to the spinoff.... from what I've heard the actress that may do the spinoff doesn't even know about it...so really I think its a little quick to come out with talking about this "spinoff" when the person they have in mind DOESN'T know...lol also as I read per L-word.com Jennifer Beals is looking to take some time off, Leisha is putting alot of time into her music and Laurel is actually in talks of doing some other projects...so unless they REALLY can talk these woman into it... I think it might be a Jenny or even Shane type of spinoff....hey either way Bette & Tina can always come and vist right?
Oh Kabach
just made the move from Mass to florida one year ago, I feel your pain...We are here just waiting for one of your fantastic videos....
Safe sailing.......
~Feel your intentions in your heart. Feel not what your mind tells you, but what your heart tells you ~
LDAWN
http://www.ourchart.com/blogs/i-sang-with-her-there
Happy traveling to you
I've made the move from the east coast to the west coast with an 8 year stop in the middle. I can certainly understand how burdened you must feel about packing and leaving. I'm keeping a good thought for you and sending good traveling vibes your way. And, welcome to the left coast. ATK
GOSh...
WOW Twin... sounds like you are in the midst of really doing a total revamp... BUT guess what my dear Bette SiSTER so am I...
Yep in the midst of making a big move... now not to the west coast or anything but see how we BOTH just had to make a move... that whole Twin powers at work...
Now just a quick note my dear Bette sister... I have added a really NICE place for us all to OPENLY discuss the potential SPIN off and any such rumors and or Spoilers related to season six... here is the official link... we are just trying not to allow the over flow of rumors take us over and well the season is not even here yet...
SO feel free to JUMP right in the rumor mill discussion at any time I am sure it will be a popular forum for all those who want to dig deep into that area... and of course come BACK over here to us for some deep in-depth B&T analysis... YOu know how we get carried away sometimes... LMAO...
Here is the info below...
Link to spin-off discussion forum... http://www.ourchart.com/forums/bette-tina-spin-discussion-really ENJOY!
THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE....
BETTE & TINA FOREVER!
LOVE & FRIENDSHIP & RESPECT
STV
For STV and Loca!!!!!! I am not Shane look!!!
Which L Word Character Are You?
Alice
A material girl in an emotion world, you are spiritual and strong-willed. Passion is always a priority for you and relationships are very important. Among friends, you are the glue. You can relate to different types of people and meet them on their level. Deep down, you are almost an intellect; however, the energies brewing inside you manifest themselves creatively vs. academically. In short, you are admired and truly well liked. Keep smiling, you’re beautiful!
http://www.youthink.com/quiz.cfm
Give it up Chica's....apologize!!! Waiting!!
__________________________________________________
STV, why you call me Shane? HUH?
Well...
The bright side of being called "Shane" is getting to hook up with the supreme HOTNESS herself - Carmen, but if you'd rather be Alice...YOU AIN'T GETTING ANY!! LMAO!! ~_^
*** ***
"Sit, clarify the great matter, and understand the essence..." ~Dogen~
LLLLLLOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
She's still my gf chica!!! You can't have her...LMAO I have my own spin off going on!!! LMAO
Sorry STV!!! Didn't mean to say the SO word.
__________________________________________________
STV, why you call me Shane? HUH?
A QUICK NOTE...
Please see above...
Grouchy :)
Want me to sing you my song? HUH?
__________________________________________________
STV, why you call me Shane? HUH?
ALL SMILES....
Awe my dear friend
I actually LOVE your singing... It is amazing but due to some reasons... I just ask that you sing to me only... see trying to keep it all to myself so that way NO one confusing what goes on in the Trees... B/c see I know HOW much you love the FOREST and oh the WOODS... and GOSH even tree houses... ALL SMILES...
LMAO... BIG GIANT HUGS... GIANT!
B&T FOREVER
Love & Friendship
STV
Foxyloxy is this week's featured blogger
Foxyloxy is on the OC home page!
http://www.ourchart.com/content/review-true-colors-vancouver
'Grats to you, Foxyloxy! I enjoyed your blog post a lot ... glad it's getting featured where many others can enjoy it too.
*Hugs*
Thank you Miznoone!! :)
*** ***
"It matters not Who you love, Where you love, Why you love, When you love, Or how you love...It matters only that you love." --John Lennon
Congrats Foxy!!!!
__________________________________________________
STV, why you call me Shane? HUH?
SIMPLY AMAZING...
OMG... FOXY...
HATS off to YOU... You KNOW FULL WELL how psyched I am to see you featured with this most BEAUTIFUL BLOG... OMG FOXY now tell me that did not make your heart just sing... LMAO...
HATS off my dear friend and YOU KNOW LOTS OF LOVE ALWAYS to my DEAR SWEET SISTER... I SO love it I am seriously ON THE FLOOR... YOU know I had to post this in our home fro you... OMG.... TOTALLY PRICELESS... WAY TO GO... FOXY YOU ROCK!!!
Well let me go get you some party favors... LMAO :-) TOTALLY PRICELESS!
NOW Foxy tell me it is not amazing what brings people together...
AND my dear friend this one is just for you... As you know MY FAVORITE Pic just for you...
JUST AMAZING...
B&T FOREVER
LOVE & BETTE SISTERHOOD ALWAYS~
STV~ HUMBLE & EXCITED~
Thank you all for your support! I REALLY appreciate it!!
STV-I could not stop LMFAO at this one!! DAMN - I wish I had the talent to be able to create flashy images like that!
*** ***
"Sit, clarify the great matter, and understand the essence..." ~Dogen~
Congrats Foxy...Great Job !!!!!
~Feel your intentions in your heart. Feel not what your mind tells you, but what your heart tells you ~
LDAWN
http://www.ourchart.com/blogs/i-sang-with-her-there
Mixed Messages and the Elephant in the Room
They both were sending, not MIXED messages, but FEELER messages to each other, waiting to see if the other would pick up on it. Both had experienced a great deal of pain at the hand of the other and therefore BOTH were hesitant to hope for and eventually expect anything from the other. I go back to the adage I’ve used numerous times regarding S4&5 – once burned, shame on me, twice burned, shame on you. They were both afraid of experiencing that kind of pain again. And they both recognized that they could not deny their feelings for each other but they were both trying hard to ignore their hearts and only think with their heads. And they both lied to each other and themselves regarding those feelings as they both wanted to try to ignore them and move on.
I personally feel that for both Bette and Tina it is IMPOSSIBLE to ignore Jodi’s influence on how they reconnected.
I agree with both STV and Katiegirl regarding 505:
1. Yes, I think Bette answered the question as honestly as she could AT THAT MOMENT. I think that Bette was still processing at this moment. As much as STV wants to convince us that Bette is completely self-aware, I don’t think this is true, which is why Bette’s answer was in some ways honest. I think Bette was desperately trying to have a healthy relationship with Jodi. She wanted to be true to Jodi at this moment, she wanted to love Jodi, she wanted to give all of herself to Jodi. But in the end, she simply could not because Jodi could never be what Bette really needed. But Bette didn’t know this yet, hadn’t come to this realization for herself yet.
2. At the same time, Tina HAD come to this realization for herself, for her own life. She knew that no one could ever be everything that she needed because everything that she needed was really in Bette. When she asked the question, she desperately wanted to hear that no, Bette wasn’t in love with Jodi, so that she could follow her heart. It is so easy that Tina should have just said “fuck that!” and have followed her heart anyway, but I find this completely contrary to Tina’s character! Tina is, by nature, a nurturer. She is a kind person who tries to put others before herself. While we all wanted her to say “Jodi who?” that would have gone against her own moral code. And S5 Tina is NOTHING if not true to HERSELF.
Tina most definitely knew that she wanted Bette back, but she convinced herself that she would not interfere with Bette’s chance at love with Jodi. Of course, her efforts to stay away were completely broken by THE KISS. The kiss pushed Tina over the edge of her own control. At first, she tries to go out of her way to avoid Bette, hoping that she can regain control, but when she runs into Bette again and Bette is not contrite about the kiss, she realizes that she doesn’t WANT to regain that control.
She decides to throw away all thoughts of staying away and she follows her heart, going to Bette’s house for the wonderful stir-fry scene! In the stir-fry scene, when Tina tells Bette to turn around, it is the look of honest fear and uncertainty that pushes Tina because she realizes that Bette is in such a state of confusion that if she doesn’t push the advantage now then it will be another missed opportunity. I think by S5 Tina has seen so many of the missed opportunities in their relationship and she is not going to let another one pass by.
Bette and Tina having sex doesn’t solve everything though. (I know I’ve said this many times, but I still firmly believe it deeply). And Tina is afraid in her heart of hearts that this is just a fling for Bette. I completely agree with Katiegirl when she wrote “until Bette was truly free, until she chose of her own free will to be with her, Tina wasn’t going to make the decision for her.” She also desperately did not want to push Bette into making that decision, she wanted Bette to come to her free and clear.
Mostly, I think that my Tina sisters have been dead on. They’ve defended themselves well to STV’s consisten onslaught! LMAO ;)
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Bette: "I did not f**k off, I f**ked up. I did not go, I'm still here."
OMG... LMFAO.... PRICELESS :-)
OK... OK... OK... TIBF, R U KIDDING ME.... OMG!!!
Oh my... LMAO see what happens when you have the lingering effects of a head cold... LMAO and then try to take on B&T debates.... Oops I mean discussions... LMAO ha ha ha ha.... ON THE FLOOR...
OMG TIBF see this was so priceless I had to actually think Hummm HOW do I respond with eloquence and grace to such a BOLD and well WONDERFUL Tina post... HATs off for igniting a FIRE inside of me that well has me almost in tears... I mean good tears of course but still tears nonetheless... TOTALLY PRICELESS... Seriously I love this wonderful TINA centered POST... TIBF this should be fun I hope you enjoy really nothing but GOOD FUN as always :-) WOW an you said I HAD "consistent onslaught" GOSH... I was playing nice... and being a gracious host... LMAO :-)
OK after careful review and well TOTALLY catching up on our home an all of the many replies to our heated discussion ignited by none other than another GREAT Tina our dear LUV an also Katiegirl OMG see I decided humm how do I approach this one so it really sticks and so NO ONE FALLS asleep hearing me say the same things over again in a NEW NOVEL... in a even funnier manner.. Humm see what a tricky topic and situation I am in... B/c you all know I try and keep us all awake and well just laughing and really enjoying each other... LMAO so TIBF guess what after VERY CAREFUL review I have discovered exactly how to approach this wonderful post of yours... AND yes THIS is a GREAT TINA post you have here... NOW of course you should know from my lengthy intro here that well I DO NOT FULLY AGREE...
But wait (b4 you start a huff... or worse umm HEAD ACHE :-) see I do not Disagree that they both had faults NO, that is not it at all... But see I disagree b/c SOME HOW AS USUAL this particular topic of discussion was well lets face it aimed as a TINA COME CLEAN discussion from my Bette Perspective which is why your dear sisters KatieGirl and Luv were well jumping in with the gloves off and making sure we all saw each other face to face... You know BALANCE... LMAO... well TIBF and HOME I so hope you all enjoy this... It is so cute... (see the over all thought I was asking and we were well throwing back an fourth is well TINA's MIXED SIGNALS... I fully KNOW Bette gave off so many... an on ANY given day we can have a FULL in-depth discussion of "HOW Bette BROKE EVERYTHING..." (YES I KNOW... we all KNOW... LMOA :-) but see WHAT EXACTLY did TINA Do...??? THAT is MY question or rather more so WHAT DID Tina NOT DO... LMAO :-) See now lets go forward... You ready... NO HEAVY THINKING ahead just good fun :-)
AND the AWARD goes to.... Drum roll please... OUR unofficial Bette SISTERHOOD honorable mention certificate to none other than our resident TINA of the DAY... KENPORT LMAO... PRICELESS... OMG... If you all knew how much this has me cracking up... an ATK I also hope you enjoy this one as well... trust me I am working on over your way next :-)
LADIES Please enjoy this post as I know many may have missed it today since it did go to the next page... The long awaited Tina REBUTTAL Post from Kenport... JUST WONDERFUL...
HATS off Kenport... LMAO!
Please note some major points I HAVE highlighted for us all... Please ENJOY :-)
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JULY 22, 2008 - 3:34AM — KENPORT_31
Rebuttal....
Ok, I have finally found time for myself. I'm in my haven, a cup of coffee beside my computer and on my "thinking chair." LOL. Let's rock this...
First: mixed signals, definitely "contradictory messages." Personally, I get frustrated whenever I'm caught in one. I'm a consistently straightforward person, I hate being thrown in loops. So that sums up how I felt about the infamous exchange between our couple "do you regret it?" "yes" "are you in love with Jodi?" "yes" Oh how I screamed out of annoyance.
I admit that we "Loyal T's" can come down hard on Bette whenever she "f*cks up." We all know "she was the one to BREAK EVERYTHING that mattered" and personally, that's why I'm harder on Bette because she "f*cked up" first. I know it usually doesn't matter who did what first, but in this case it does matter. It's more of a result of woman scorned. Bette was the love of Tina's life; she trusted, believed and put so much faith on her; the last person Tina expected to hurt her did and it was the ultimate betrayal. For me, that's why I do come harder on Bette because she, (can't think of a less brutal word so I apologize) broke Tina. Before I get kicked out of our home, let me try to save myself, lol. I love Bette deeply, I do. I don't think I would be as obsessed with Tina if it weren't for her relationship with Bette. STV, you mentioned that you've only heard the Tina's in our home openly admit her faults was in season 3. Au contraire mademoiselle, lol, I believe I pointed out Tina's faults and wrongdoings in my "Cycles of Tee" post. Yes, Tina's biggest "WRONG" was season 3, but I do acknowledge her lack of communication with Bette and shutting herself out in season one which of course played a big factor in Bette's tryst.
Back to episode 505. As much as I cried because of the "mixed signals" they were both giving off, I think they both held back for different reasons. I think, right after the kiss, Tina has reclaimed Bette in some sense, and Bette wanted to be reclaimed. Bette wanted to talk to Tina about it but Tina was so caught up in doing the "right thing" of not coming in between Bette and Jodi's relationship that it is understandable why she was avoiding her. She's been on the other end, she knows how much it hurts and she did not want to inflict that pain on someone else; regardless of her feelings for Bette. Also, I think someone in our home has mentioned, Bette wanted Tina back because she wants her back not b/c of the "affair." Break up with Jodi because she (Bette) really wanted to, whether Tina is in the picture or not. See, if Tina had said otherwise, that she did not regret the kiss; I think Bette would have given her the same answer, no she wasn't IN love with Jodi. There would have at least been some "processing" before "stir-fry sex." Bette was on guard b/c Tina has her wall up. But if you re-watch the scene, Bette's eyes said differently. I say it was only Bette b/c I know Tina did regret the kiss...her eyes were full of guilt, but that was just it though. It was just the guilt of potentially being "the other woman." Tina was trying to be logical. Bette was vulnerable at the time, she would've told Tina right there and then how she truly felt. But there was a road block which made Bette retract, that was her reason.
STV, I do give Bette props for "G-R-O-W-T-H" for wanting to talk to Tina about Tina not Bette, lol.
Guilty as charged for the crime of "openly agreeing" that Tina knows Bette better than herself, lol. I say this because Bette doesn't open up to anybody the way she does with Tina. Even with Kit sometimes, her own sister, she's still a bit guarded. Though with Tina, it's just plain Bette. No facade, no BS. Tina may know Bette's next move before Bette does, that's probably why mixed signals were being sent. She felt in the kiss that Bette still wanted her; the flowing of tears also revealed that Bette missed her. She knew Bette was going to be caught in this awful position and will be confused. So for Tina, she avoided Bette to let Bette think for herself. It was expected that Bette would be hard on herself; she might as well have taken on everything again, but Tina, after "OMFG #3" told her "you need to figure out what's right for you, and I need to figure out what's right for me." Plain and simple. Think for yourself, and I'll think for me; don't worry about what I'm thinking, worry about yours.
Ok, that was pretty much my two cents. To summarize: Tina's made mistakes and my apologies if they are not acknowledged as much; Tina tried to be the stronger person and avoided Bette but lost by ep. 506 and Tina knows Bette more than Bette knows herself...to an extent, lol. There wasn't much to add to the previously written wonderful posts =)
Always my love and loyalty,
Kenport
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WOW was that not GREAT or what... awe... I feel like well having a nice cold fruity drink after that... GOSH a Tina coming clean and OMG... ADMITTING... OH MY... HOW PRICELESS is that.. LMAO ... MY DEAR Bette SISTERS we may need to prepare Kenport a place in the cave all to herself b/c her sisters may well do something to change her mind... LMAO :-) TOTALLY PRICELESS...
Wow still floating a bit... GOSH... OK... My brief comments... (yeah as if...)
Well Kenport as you see I highlighted a few MAJOR points I wanted to REALLY STICK out for our Home an our dear TINA's... HUM it is just amazing... NOW you know under normal circumstances I generally hold my breathe when I see YOU put on your BOLD Alpha T hat and head our way... However, this time OMG... I let out a sigh of PURE RELIEF... Yep... see did not feel the need to draw my sword at all... NOPE no walls or shields either... LMAO :-) YOUR BOLDNESS and total HONESTY was what I was so desperately looking for... yes I know it is a little well BIAS... BUT see is it TRUE and see I believe this is how so many other TINA's really do feel but well they are well ummm just so NICE they will not BOLDLY admit these things OUT LOUD here for us so often we all just go back and fourth... BUT wow this was OPEN, HONEST, an even a bit of a PILL to swallow but ONE that is MUCH appreciated b/c some things MUST be said for our COUPLE to move on OPENLY and honestly if they ever want to stand a CHANCE... a REAL chance that is...
And see you know how much it tickles me when I can present a TINA perspective to a TINA objection... LMAO way too funny... I just love this... too cute... OK... now back to the post...
While there were a FEW minor points where my BETTE heart still said R U KIDDING ME for the most part I fully agreed here with the content an acceptance of this TINA post... See there is hope for me yet :-) LMAO...
My only small ummm moments of disbelief well... I will mention them here...
Well this one... "I know it usually doesn't matter who did what first, but in this case it does matter. It's more of a result of a woman scorned. Bette was the love of Tina's life; she trusted, believed and put so much faith on her; the last person Tina expected to hurt her did an it was the ultimate betrayal."
While this was COMPLETELY TRUE... I know we can see this is well ummm shall I say... Ummmm UNBALANCED... and see this ties into another point I just love and see I will use this very same post from Kenport to discuss it... here it is... LMAO... "Tina knows Bette more than Bette knows herself...to an extent, lol." See my dear Kenport and TIBF and ALL TINA's You can not HAVE IT BOTH WAYS... LMAO... NOPE...
See TINA can not know Bette better than herself and then turn and say well SHE was taken totally OFF guard when Bette well... did the UNTHINKABLE... NOW B4 YOU all try and WRING me up... wait one moment.... I am not condoning Bette's HORRIBLE behavior... NO by no way is that what I am saying... BUT see my point is EITHER SHE knew Bette better than Bette KNOWS herself and see if that is so she SHOULD have well ASKED Bette OPENLY to discuss what was troubling her B4 it became an affair... (NOW yes I know that sounds really INSANE, Tina be the one to try and do preventive measures to STOP BETTE... yeah INSANE huh...) But see if not that then How can you explain Tina KNOWING Bette OH so well and SITTING back and WATCHING Bette as SHE well "BROKE everything that meant anything..." Hummm see my dear Tina's YOU CAN not have it both ways... and YES I used the affair as an example to drill this point across as strongly as I could b/c see I know you all will not admit that well... This knowing Bette better than SHE actually KNOWS herself is well a bit of a stretch... TINA KNOWS WHAT BETTE ALLOWS HER TO KNOW... and YES that is often times MUCH more than ANY other person in Bette's LIFE... PERIOD!
But remember it is still only what Bette ALLOWS... PERIOD... I mean Bette is the CONTROL FREAK right or did I miss that as Tina GREW her ALPHANESS this season... LMAO :-) OMG I crack myself up... LMAO! BUT SERIOUSLY TINA's DID we all hear this one... LMAO yep back to the SELF awareness thing TIBF... see NOT saying Bette has all the ANSWERS NO by no way shape or FORM... but see that does not mean that the answers that Bette does not have concerning herself that UMMM TINA magically knows these THINGS... This simply my dear friend is JUST NOT TRUE... Please adhere to this it can help in so many ways... STOP OVER analyzing Bettes Moves... Allow her to speak that really is the best way and see this can be done in a manner of different ways, but see I will say the number one way an I know my Bette SISTERS will fully agree with this one... Here goes... IF TINA... OPENS UP... REALLY and removes all DOUBT then well Bette will always come to her completely OPEN... she just feels compelled to at that point... she has no fear and no doubts that TINA will openly receive her... (now this is not saying she has to say those cherished 3 little words no but once given a direct question like I mention here below she could easily Be fully open in her response and not just tell the HALF answer...) Ok I will say it ok... see I cannot stand the whole "FEELER messages to each other, waiting to see if the other would pick up on it." II mean see to me this is no way to have a open ADULT conversation... if I ask a question... either answer it or say you do not want to... PERIOD do not just float on it... GOSH anyone ever heard of the phrase "you get what you put out there..." Bette wanted to know how TINA felt and well she BLOCKED her... and well here we go again... WOW we sure know that this theory has been true for this couple in SPADES... One cheats the other UPs the ante... I mean come on Tick of Tack that is no way to GROW together in a loving relationship... Just no way... lets continue...
For example, lets take Kenport's wonderful example above in 505... once TINA says well se regretted the KISS Bette was BROKEN.... REMEMBER she (Bette) took a GIANT leap pulling Tina in for that Kiss she faced possible REJECTION and see in the light of Day Tina did just that told her yeah I regretted it... and LEFT it at that then IMMEDIATELY followed it up with umm Bette do you love Jodi... Ummmm EXCUSE ME... You just said you regretted the ONE piece of contact I have had with you in 3 years now you are asking about my feelings for another woman... (see Guess what OMG... TINA knows BETTE oh so well RIGHT... Umm ok... and she meant to break her & YES Bette can be broken by TINA YES... (but see I know this is an error NOT a malicious harm from Tina... she just did not know and feel SAFE enough to admit this to Bette) WOW... See maybe it is just my Bette heart but see I THINK that this statement was well HARSH of our DEAR ALPHA T... and see while I REALLY did not like Bette's answer b/c I KNEW it was in fact DEFINITELY misleading as I stated before an a MIXED signal on her part BUT see I knew it was coming b/c I KNOW Bette defense mechanisms... and see when she is faced with TINA she already has VERY few available to her... she always feels COMPLETELY OPEN to her B/c Tina can see so much of her... B/c Bette has constantly allowed Tina in to a POINT she can not just shut her out so easily b/c Tina pays CLOSE attention to her and learns as she goes along...