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thehookup@ourchart.comwhat makes a relationship worth fighting for? i want to hear your thoughts.
July 27, 2008 - 1:21pm — she_isso here it goes again. another relationship is over. it came out of the blue. you know, we had our struggles, but one of us decided that it was time to call it quits, though we didn't have any animosity between us. it certainly came unexpected.
what kind of perspective have you all taken during a break-up process? we were together for six months +, so it was a solid and defined relationship, rather than a brief courtship.
what makes a relationship worth fighting for?
how do you know when it's not? how do you know if your significant other is stringing you along because they're afraid to be alone?
i would love to hear what you think or for someone to lend an ear :(
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16 Posts
what makes a relationship worth fighting for?
love.. love alone is enough reason to fight for,
love is a gift that money cant buy, so when you feel it, stick to it, fight for it, don't let the feelings be gone just like that even though its you against the world so long as it feels so right and as long as your partner is at your side willing to fight for you too.. coz its useless when you're fighting for someone who gave up on you, you should be fighting your love together because its a relationship.. a partnership. you wouldn't call it a relationship if you're all alone. Its like trying to fly again after you fell down but the difference is that you only have wing to fly.. should be wingS to make it to the sky no matter how hard it is as long as you're together.. Its like a pair of shoe, you cant wear it without the other, it should be pair. to be useful..
when you feel like you're be incomplete without you're partner, then it'll be worth fighting for because without your partner, you'll be incomplete.. its the completion..
_playing cupid_
"I told you that i love you but i didn't ask you to love me back"
when its worth it
When is a relationship worth fighting for? You'll know the answer to that when the time comes. Some relationships are just meant to dissolve after their time has ended. Other relationships are meant to last even through the hard times. I believe in my heart that you know when to fight and when to just let go, it just may take a little while to figure out the answer. I'm struggling with this question right now myself and I'm sitting squarely on top of the fence at the moment.
when u feel like u can't
when u feel like u can't live without her. when she is the air u breathes. you just know.
"Killing for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity."
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error.
my 2 cents
For me a relationship is all about balance and communication. I know when to walk away from a relationship when the bad points outweigh the good ones and the communication dwindles to arguements and constant misunderstandings with no effort being put into it. Yeah its great to have a foundation but if that foundation has crumbled and your with each other simply because you have been for X amount of years maybe its time to look at what why you are with her. In the end you are the one that needs to decide what is right for you.
*insert something witty here*
comfort
I think simply its comfort. Ive been with my gf for close to 2 years and im so happy :). Id fight for her no matter what, even if it cost my life. Id go to jail for her, and the main reason is because i KNOW shed do the same.
Ive been in relationships where i dunno wt th other is thinking or if she trusts me bla bla. In fact that pretty much illustrates ALL my past relationships. This one, however, i trust her. I know she trusts me. Its that level of confidence which makes us so close.
Her mother and father hate me, being Portuguese and catholic i had no chance from the beginning really. They constantly deny that shes gay but i still go to see her. Its a huge risk but i take it for her. I know she apreciates it and wants me to do it, so i do. I can see it in her face when she looks at me.
So yea, ultimately i think its comfort, it stuck us together, lack of secrets. Ive told her a LOT of things about me and my past and what id like to do. We know each other very very well. This is what gives us the confidence. We dont lie to each other, or keep things in. I ask whats wrong...she tells me. I say are you ok? she says no im not...obviously not all the time lol. Also, id say that i sacrifice a lot to speak to her and see her, regularly. That proves to her that id give anything just to touch her. That gives her all the confidence she needs i think.
What broke you guys up? If i may ask? You think she was just with you to not be lonely?
Well, we are back together
Well, we are back together for now. I'm not really sure what broke us up. She said a lot of things that made sense but I didn't feel that it was reason to break up. For example, she said that her job and the stress from it leaves her less time to spend with me because she is anxious about paying all the bills, worrying about unemployment, foreclosure....she's in a state of mind where she's unhappy about her life, owning her house....she needs someone who is stable, knows where they are going in life, etc....I always suspected that she is with me because she was a little lonely. Lately, she has been saying that she couldn't live without me ( I don't feel the same. Maybe I'm more independent? This scares me a little).
Don't get me wrong. We have a wonderful relationship and we care a lot about each other, but I'm just confused because it seems that she is needy only when she thinks that I am leaving and she seems to freak out and make rash decisions when things aren't going very well in her life.
thats good
No doubt you care a lot about each other. It sounds that way. Perhapse your only problem is the lack of that understanding. Ask her why she seems to only need you at those times maybe? Why do you think she only needs you then?
What i see really is that youre happy with her but theres a lil something making u unsure that she feels the same all the time. Like i said before its about comfort :) You seem comfortable, because you dont doubt that ur in a wonderful relationship :) You just arent sure how she feels. Ask her, it really cant hurt. But if it does hurt, if it does make things worse, perhapse that will also answer ur question.
Either way you need a lil closure about the breaking up, and the lack of neediness then sudden neediness right? Let her know what you need from her, im sure shell help you out.
ugh It's a tough one. Every
ugh
It's a tough one. Every relationship is different so the reasons it's worth fighting for are different.
I guess, from my point of view, a relationship is worth fighting for if you have a history with that person thats too important to just "give up" on. And more importantly, as long as both of you are fighting, not just you.
I've been there. Make sure you take care of you first.
i don't know
i don't know if what i have is worth fighting for. So far she and i are always fighting, she enjoys making me jealous, and i feel like i'm the onlyone who ever bends or compromises. we have nothing in common and when i'm not with her i realize i shouldn't have to do so much.
she makes me angry and the things that seemed reasonable at the time later sound ridiculous. i find myself thinking, "why don't you just walk away? This is too tiring, too frustrating."
then there are the moments we are together. Not all of them are good, it's hard to remember a time when we don't end the evening in a relationship threatening fight.
but i deeply care about her, and we did almost break-up. Corny as it sounds, when i thought i lost her i felt like she had sucked every last breath out of me and i saw nothing but dark days ahead.
There are times when we hold each other and her warmth reaches my heart. She kisses me and everything that was hard is now so insignificant. We fall asleep in each others arms and i take in her smell. That's when i realize that hard or not, this is what i want. It hurts sometimes, but i just don't want to be without her. she makes me laugh, but she makes me cry. She takes my breath away in good and bad ways. She's changed me in ways i never thought possible. Still, when i leave her, there are still traces of her on me, on my skin, in my hair, i never completely leave her. she said to me "i love you so much."
I said, "do you really? I've been hurt so many times, but i'm trusting you with all of me. Please don't break my heart..."
She said, "i really do love you, only you."
As much as i know we're probably better off without each other, i just can't get myself to leave.
Is this realtionship worth fighting for... i don't know. But i don't want to stop trying yet...
it sounds like you can't let
it sounds like you can't let go because you are very much enamored with the feelings of having someone show you love, comfort you, be there for you, etc.
this girl sounds a little manipulative, a little edgy, not my cup of tea..
and you shouldn't have to deal with it either. find someone who you share a lot of things with, build a friendship, a foundation. make sure that you have trust, so you don't have to deal with the jealousy bit.
words mean less than actions. if you are the only one who bends or comprises and she is the one that feeds you love lines, i think this is a problem. besides the romantic lines and falling asleep together at night, how does she SHOW you that she really cares about you? i have a feeling you won't come up with an answer right away. and no, being jealous is not an answer.
if the relationship makes
if the relationship makes you happy, it's worth fighting for. if the girl makes you happy, but the relationship is hell, get out fast, because that will only hurt.
and really, you can fight for it all you want, but you can change only so much in terms of how happy you make the other person. if it works, it will work. if not, nothing good will come out of holding onto it.
I believe the heart knows
I believe the heart knows when you should fight for a relationship... You should fight when you can't imagine your life without the other, when your heart beats slower without him/her...
I can tell when love exists by the look in the eyes. The ones that are in a relationship just for not being alone don't look deep enough, honestly enough... That's no rule, it's just a personal notice...
and about when not fighting, I usually say, if you don't have fun in a relationship, end it... And I don't mean fun in the "lol" way. I mean, when the other is becoming tiring, boring, grumpy and drags you with him/her, it's better to let go because in the end you become boring and bored and for me that's not the point in a relationship
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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.
I love what you are saying, but le me ask you this...
'' I believe the heart knows when you should fight for a relationship... You should fight when you can't imagine your life without the other, when your heart beats slower without him/her... ''
My ex left me not too long ago, telling me how I was the woman she always wanted but that she needed to take time alone. 4 days after she hooked up with someone else.
This is my question for you: deep inside my heart I believe that this woman is the one for me and I also believe that her new relationship will not last (not to be mean, cause I only want her happiness, but I have a gut feeling)
Thus, my question: should I fight for her?
I am ready to let her go and move on, but I have a strong feeling that I should fight for her.
Anyways, just thought I would ask your opinion.
I would... Maybe I'm the
I would... Maybe I'm the last person to talk about fighting for someone, but I've never been in a relationship with someone I love. So if I was, I would definately fight...
Here comes the other factor... Egoism... Fighting for someone is aka running behind someone and that requires a lot of disposition to lower your ego and be patient. And maybe have some remorses because you are becoming the third person. I'm kinda ammoral, so I wouldn't care for that...
But I don't see the point in your ex. You were the woman she always wanted and you love her but...goodbye...? I think maybe she got more than she diserved from you and got bored of the situation... Fight for her, but showing her what she's been missing, not running behind her...
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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.
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it's not worth fighting for when you realize neither one of you makes each other happy. relationships have pain and pleasure, sometimes one is more strong and frequent then the other and that can be wonderful or terrible. when pain outdoes pleasure for a long time it's when you really have to think about the woman you're with and the women you could be with, or the woman you deserve. you shouldn't ever settle for what you have if you feel that you deserve more. think about what the foundation of your relationship was in the first place and if that was strong enough to continue building off of regardless of what goes wrong.
it really depends on your partner whether or not she's stringing you along, look at her from every perspective and decide if that's the kind of person you were with.
ps, i wouldn't mind lending an ear ;[.