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365 Days of Sex
July 24, 2008 - 8:36am — Gloria Bigelow
How much sex is too much sex, and how little sex is not enough? I’m not into overdoing things; I like most things in moderation. Okay, I like everything in moderation. I remember cooking a meal with an ex and her telling me, “There can never be too much garlic.” I retorted, “There can be too much garlic, especially if you’re baking a cake.” And I love garlic.
I can’t think of anything that I just want gobbles and gobbles of... not even money. I don’t like excess. Last week there was this couple that was going all over the morning shows talking about their “experiment.” The wife said, “We decided to have sex every day for a year.” I put down my tea and picked up my remote. The tired-looking husband and tight-lipped wife went on about their intimacy and connection.
When their segment ended, I started wondering could I have sex — with someone else mind you — every day. I say someone else because I swore off having sex with myself when I was 13 and thought that I might become addicted to masturbating to images of Boy George and Alfonso Ribeiro — the Silver Spoons Alfonso Ribeiro, not the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Alfonso Ribeiro. Regardless, I thought better of it at a young age. So, this very square-looking couple was having sex every day — EVERY DAY. Why would they want to have sex every day, I thought?
Photo. Ricky Shroder and Alfonso Ribiero. wwww.80srewind.net
I looked at this we-had-sex-every-day-for-a-year couple, and they seemed mad average. Neither one of them looked like they would be swinging from the rafters every day. Actually, they didn’t look like they'd be swinging from the rafters on any day. I found myself getting a little defensive.
She’s probably not even “getting there” with that man! Hmm, take that!
He’s probably reaping all of the benefits, hmmm, typical man! I don’t need to have sex every day — hmmmm, so there! I don’t want to have sex every day — hmmm, go fly a kite!
After my final middle school retort, I got this kind of sinking feeling inside. Should I want to have sex every day? What if the person that I marry, when gay people are one day allowed to get married in New York, wants to have sex every day? Would I be able to deliver? Immediately, I was thrown back into a past relationship where my girlfriend and I were having problems in that department. She wanted to have sex just about every day, and me...all I really wanted was a nap.
Eventually, we had to compromise and shoot for a middle ground of two or three days a week. Is that enough? Is that too much? Is the amount of sex you're having a barometer for the relationship? Is the frequency of sex even something that should be compromised? Relationships come with a lot of negotiation. Whose house we’ll do the holidays. If both of our parents are okay with us loving each other... I’m sure there is a compromise in there somewhere. The division of labor — you hate taking out the trash, so I’ll take out the trash as long as you vacuum and sweep. Sure, that seems like there's some wiggle room or space to negotiate. But sex?
I don’t know what I would say if my one day future wife comes home with that book about 365 days of sex. So, in the spirit of planning ahead, I’ve devised a list of reasons why 365 days of sex may not be the thing to do:
1. It’s a leap year.
2. My mother is here for Thanksgiving, and you know how you make me scream!
3. Your parents are here for Presidents' Day, and you know how you make me scream!
4. My Aunt Flow.
5. Your Aunt Flow.
6. Everything is beginning to blend in and look alike; it’s confusing.
7. I have carpal tunnel.
8. It’s Valentine's Day.
9. I’m not a rabbit, even though I occasionally wear the bunny costume for you.
10. I don’t want to.
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56 Comments
PS
PS:i was with a girl for a while and for her birthday her mom and gramma gave us the house to ourselves for a night...
eight hours of sex later i can safely say that i could barely walk for a week with out a pang of holy shit that was good between my legs.. eight hours is a safe limit it makes a great story for the grandkids ;)
Bailey*~
endorphins
theory one
~ when you have sex there has to be chemicals released like endorphins and hormones ..
well i'm afraid i'd run out
one day my girl n i would be going at it and boom nothin...
like a car running out of gas or something...
i think if i had sex everyday that eventually i'd need time to build back up my mojo i mean endorphins and then i'd be able to feel satisfied again
theory 2...
~to me the r-factor and the anticipation are ALWAYS major factors in having exceptional sex... suspense and trying new things are also a plus...
~if you have sex with the same person every day think about it there's little risk ( r-factor) because your probably doing it in one or the others bed since its routine so your not likely to be sneaking around in a movie theater bathrooms because seeing megan fox's hip bones in transformers make you hot
or in the back of a friends car in a walmart parking lot because you can't keep your eyes off your woman where your adrenaline is pumping from fear of getting caught and your thinking quickly impulsively
if your bumping uglies on a daily basis your thinking yesterday i didnt like this so im going to try this but if it doesnt work well theres always tomorrow .. UNSATISFYING your probably just sticking to safe.. * yawn* boring!
as im typing i thought of a controdiction..
what if sex is like drinking coffee the first time your bodies not used to the caffeine so your totally wired
you have sex the first time with your partner its hot and impulsive and you glow for days after
the second time its familiar .. your favorite starbucks blend and it gets you through the day
you know your partner's body and the general idea of what they like
after a while your body's tolerance builds and one cup of jamacamecrazy just doesn't cut it you have to buy a bigger mug
having sex yesterday didn't get your heart pumping so today your going to rock your womans socks and maybe again tomorrow before you can sleep without busting out the scandalous pictures your lover sent you
point: once you pop you just can't stop...
its deffinetly food for thought.. or maybe food for fucking
Bailey*~
LOL that was funny
LOL that was funny
hahahahahaha i can't stop
hahahahahaha i can't stop laughing. hahahahah : D
365 I GOTTA HAV
so, who s the nay sayr? gloria, that u makn all them xcuses? gurl plz! if i dont get it at least every other day, ima grumpy dyke. my whole steelo will b off. depression sets in, pizza hut gets calld, hair starts grown..........mmmmm ummmmm, dont nobody wanna c that. like rick james sings: GIV IT TO ME BABEY!
sex up
I LUV TO HEAR THAT.SEX IS A FUN,IT'S OK.INFACT,I WISH TO KNOW U BETTER BABE.SEX SHOWS LUV MOST TIMES,IT'S PART OF LIFE.KEEP LOVING SEX,IT'S ENJOYABLE
hysterical...
Gloria Bigelow
i get the same way- but it takes me a little longer to get what i call- "edgy"
you're funny!
Going by Gloria's
Going by Gloria's definition, I suppose it would, indeed, be possible to do it everyday for a year, despite the ah, monthly interruptions.
And let me just say, I would be all for it. I'm sure there has been at least a month or two where it has happened every day, anyway.
Hmm, let's see 365 minus 10 equals...
355 I can do that!I'm just sayin'.....
This is too funny :)...
Right there with ya. I’m a “way of the middle” gal, myself. Though right now, I'm skewing towards a definite deficit. I'd love to be able to even contemplate the luxury of daily sex. But as a Capricorn, the work is a demanding & jealous lover.
YES PLEASE!
I'd do it all damn day, every day if that pesky work thing didn't get in my way!
It depends !!!
If it's the first year of my relationship yes I would do it!!! When you have a new girlfriend the first year is excited and very hooot. But then it depends ....... ;)
Sex...every day...with my baby?
365 days of s. e. x. .........
...Iiiiiiii'm not seeing the problem here?...
Say my gurl's open to this concept... hittin it er'day.
Ooooooh!
That's hot!!
Thing is... right now...we're into hours and hours
of delish love making.
Uhmmm... we ain't 19 anymore...or 20... or 30... or..., you get the picture.
So is it even possible? Baby?
There's: stamina, joints, flexibility, back issues, the chronic rawness, lockjaw, carpel tunnel, chapped lips, digit cramps, "taking Carrie to the prom" (for her)...hmmmmm.....
food for contemplation, perhaps.
Babe? You game?
It's only for a year...
We'd be sore as hell...but...
mmmmmmmph!
c'mere gurl!
Sex 365
No matter the age hun, I'm up for trying anything once! Even if the commitment is for a year! I think we could handle it...just get yourself into my zip code, let's see what happens!
aaawwww!........
Oh Baby! I love it when you talk 'daily grind' to me!!!
And dang, gurl!
...not even your house...just your zip code!!!
lol!!
Looovin your enthusiasm!!!!!!!!
365 x hrs!
You would both be 10der!
;)Taem?
Taem... lol!!!
...yeah... we would be..and smiling! Best of all... Eau de Her would be indelible!!! Mmmmmm...
Permanent Perfume
Hey, they've come up with permanent cosmetics; why not permanent perfume? And it has to be a hell of a lot more fun than tattooing!
:)Taem?
damn true re: the tattoo!!...
...which I had done...it's pretty, yes, but Lord the process...oh mama!!!
Thing is Taem..., my het up self wants to high-5
you on the permanent perfume thought.
Buuut I'm thinking though...
a probable downside...
I'd be scented up like a damn decoy during
hunting season.
No telling who/what all I'd attract!!!
Don't believe me?
A little dab of YOU will do..., say behind your ears
co-mingling with your regular eau de toilette.
Aftermath: the amazing... and kinda awesome number
of people who'll wanna nuzzle your neck!!!
And gurl..., I can't have that.
See that reservation sign there? My neck... aw God...
THAT'S my spot!
A direct hotline to all stop lights going green!
lol!!!
Hilarious!
10der, I just had the most hilarious image of you being cited, by a very sexy cop, for impeding traffic via improper use of personal scents.
LMAO!!
Taem?
Taem!..
... the Beatles!!!!
...she's got a ticket to ride!!!
She's got a ticket to ride!!!
She's got a ticket to ride!!!...
.....but...
SHE DON'T CARE!!!
sweet! lol!!!
Wow
That List is Hilarious LMAO! Sex 365 hmm? Gotta get some ginseng and I may just be down. LOL!
im up for it!
With my sex drive, I could probably do it 365 days a year, with a few times a day every now and then. :p
When I lived with my girlfriend, it was like that most of the time. not to mention the 12 hour marathon sex :D
I'm exhausted just thinking
I'm exhausted just thinking about it! I love sex, but it has to become mundane if you do it everyday. I prefer to have explosive, hot sex once a month than mediocre sex everyday.
365 days of sex isn't that like
brownie with too much sugar, woman wear too much perfume?
Huh........
Too much?? This is a joke,right.
OINK...OINK!!!
Itty you're soooooo competitive.............
Oh sure..... your pig is bigger than my pig !!
*The Oink Master*
Moi???? Competitive....
quite the opposite...I bow to 'The Oink Master'
Hey, since I'm already down here on my knees.....
nice
pig pic... lbdl... so you.... ;)
sex everyday would be great
Honestly, I masturbate at least 3 times everyday so if there's someone else there to help out I'm all for it. Although I can't imagine having sex everyday with the same person, but you never know.
hmm
Well since my lover and i dont have a place together, we would absolutely fuck every day for 10 years :) we would fuck several times a day!i guess we are a couple of bunnies!!
i'm with you!
i'm with you glo! sometimes a girl just needs a nap... and there's nothing wrong with that! :D
365 Days of sex
mmmmm...
Why not? I mean, my sex drive is very high and my new g/f also has a high appetite. Its been 5 monthes since she moved in with me and having sex is in the daily routin for us. Everytime we are discovering ourselves. Something new.
So I guess, if the partners can enjoy themselves, why not?
3s6e5x
Great Blog Glo.
365 days of sex is like eating a shit load of candy. You eat too much and you start to feel kinda sick. Kinda like after a roller coaster ride you've gone on over and over and over again. I mean it tastes sooooooo good and feels soooooo good, but if thats all you have, you'll get sick and maybe even sick of it.
I don't want to feel like I have to have sex everyday. I want it to be spontaneous and passionate. I'd rather save the energy and have amazing sex 121.67 times a year, 10.14 times a month, and 2.53 times a week- if it so happens to be that way. Less is more.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Ghandi
I don't want to.
That really says it all, doesn't it? I mean, if you have a real relationship with someone, you are going to acknowledge that there are going to be times when sex is not the only priority. I would never want to be in a relationship or even a friendship with someone who expected me to be on 24/7/365. Where's the humanity. Hell, even sex workers get a day off!
:)Taem?
I want to be able to have
I want to be able to have sex everyday (with someone else)!! sounds good to me, until you mentioned aunt flow.. maybe every day and take a sex-vacation during the aunt flows.
namaste
Whoa Glo !!!
PASSIONATE38 You've lost me here my friend!!! Come on if your wife was curling your toes, making you shout to GOD up above for da blessings, and putting your mind in such a place where all you could think about was making love with her!!! THEN THERE WOULD BE NO PROBLEM!!! Get with the right one Gloria......You haven't meet her yet! much love
hmmm
Think about this...Sex - 365 days/year . Can you imagine how much muscles you will gain AND endurance??
complete workout. I'm completely okay with that.
it's a win
win... ;)
I think this is a quality vs
I think this is a quality vs quantity issue. Quality always wins because, let's be honest, all 365 days of nookie isn't going to always be fireworks.
i could do it
for sure. i'll even make a calendar with what i would like to try or retry for the 365 days... and also leave some "open" days to just glean the best of the best.... why not give it a go? what do i have to lose?
this is all hypothetical... as it will take 2 to agree upon the arrangement... but, i'm so down for it.
365 days of sex
Define "sex"....punkin
hmmm
Gloria Bigelow
hmmm, that's a very interesting question- because i find lesbians all have a very different definition of it. my definition is this:
if one or more person has an orgasm or could have an orgasm by something that another person has done to them or with them- than sex was had!
folks don't usually agree with me- because you can have clothes on and still have an orgasm, and i say yes- you had sex in your clothes!
Reply to hmmmm
My comment "define sex" was meant originally as a bit of sarcasm....Sex every day...Were they engaging in intercourse, oral copulation, mutual masturbation, were they even together when they had "sex" (however they defined it)?
That being said, I like your definition...been there!
Punkin
hmm
Sex everyday. . .fine. Planning to have sex everyday...NOT FINE. Basically my point is that ya, I could lay around and have sex forever, (kill me, I'm an idealist), but I would never plan to. If, for instance, I happen to have sex everyday this year, I will never know, because I don't write that kind of stuff in my calender that I don't even have.
Hey Glo.
i agree that too much of even a good thing is too much.
still, i think the idea of making sex a conscious part of your relationship is key. if we're not vigilant, we can find ourselves gradually letting sex fade as a priority. when it fades intimacy suffers - not just sexual intimacy but emotional intimacy as well. i'm not saying that sex alone is the key to intimacy but, boy, it sure is an important part of an intimate relationship.
when my beloved and i stop hitting it in the bedroom with some kind of regularity one of 2 things usually happens:1) we lapse into "friend-ness". and sex isn't on the horizon at all, which is soooo not good from my point of view. for us, the "lover-ness" of our relationship has to be tended to. 2) we are more prone to succumb to everyday tensions. and then the distance, silence and sniping are just around the corner.
so IMHO - while doing it everyday might be too much - finding a "right amount" and actually getting it done is a must.
V
hmm
I think that's sort of interesting. One of my exs and I got to a point in our relationship where all we did is fight and fuck.. and if maybe we fucked every single day the fights would of been somewhat ressolved.
Interesting topic, nonetheless.
Carpel tunnel
LOL!
Ah, the overuse injuries - proof that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. ;-)
~paz y amor siempre
Carpel Tunnel, Lock Jaw
Oooh the hazards... ~_^
I'd much rather have great sex 3-4/week than mediocre sex daily!
*** ***
"Sit, clarify the great matter, and understand the essence..." ~Dogen~