Alright, here's the story. I met this straight girl through a friend. She's super attractive, funny, sweet, talented, everything so of course I start crushing on her. I was even so bold as to mention the second day we hung out that I wasn't hitting on her but if she were gay I would be.

She was only visiting for a few days so she went back home and I started emailing her (under the pretenses of a work-related matter). Long story short: gchat/txt msg/phone call contact becomes a near daily occurance (and we get along so well, they are many hour ordeals), multiple trips to see her (with the other friend and without) where we end up cuddling in the same bed, etc.

I am, meanwhile, falling hard for this girl. This girl is, as they say in the south, "suspect" so our friends keep asking about what's going on and I keep telling them I'm gay, she's not, it'll be alright.

Finally I verbalize my crush on her and things get a little more serious/discussion oriented. She's telling me she's straight, doesn't date anyone and that I shouldn't expect anything from her. I take that as near gospel because I've been accused of being too bold with a "straight" girl before and am very clear that I won't make a move until TOLD its alright.

Fast forward a couple months and trips later, I tell her its hard to be around her because I want to kiss her, she tells me that I'm doing everything right for a girl to want to kiss me and that sometimes she wishes I could just keep a secret. WHOA. WHAT?!

So, after about 2 weeks apart after this little gem, I go to visit and we start hooking up and it is awesome. She's a really quick study, really excited to get better in bed, super sweet, etc. However, the secret keeping comes into play right there: we have to be near silent in her aparment because of her roommates.

She's a little older than me, so I think she has some hang ups about an "out later in life" thing. Also, though we have mutual friends they can't know because her career and family would be adversely affected if folks knew about us. She tells me she's not embarrassed by me and I believe her because she is a super-fan friend (always bragging on me to folks and such).

I have made the decision, for the first time in my life, that this girl is worth my curtailing my talkative ways and that I would rather have something great with her and not be able to talk about it than to have a hypothetical something and talk all the time.

So I guess, my question to y'all is: Am I a freaking idiot? Am I getting played?

And to finally just complicate things a little more, we have tentative roommate plans when I move to her city in a few months.