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thehookup@ourchart.comA Different Kind of Arrangement
July 31, 2008 - 6:26am — honeybearbabyI am a 22 female and I'm happily engaged to a 21 yr male. We are very open with one another, and for the most part are perfect together. One thing we are open about it the fact that we are both extremely attracted to women. I told him that I would love to have a threesome as long as we found someone who fit the criteria for both of us.
The thing is, maybe I've been watching too much Big Love, but I have been thinking about maybe a girlfriend? This would be a girlfriend to both of us. We'd take her to the movies, dinner, get to know her...it wouldn't be purely physical. This is something I would want to treat as delicately as any other relationship.
I think it is a rare chance that we will find a woman we both will fall in love with who will equally love us, and fit our physical turn-ons. It will be even more difficult, I would imagine, to find someone who is willing to be in such a relationship. Especially since, while we are courting her I would want her to understand that His and I's relationship takes precedence as we are engaged (or may be married by then).
I just wanted some input from all of you. Answers to questions such as,
Is this a good idea?
How would you suggest we take the steps of a relationship?
Where to meet girls or HOW to meet them (my fiance doesn't like bars)
and also possible pros and cons.
thanks!
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7 Posts
Only thing...
I can think of is how demeaning it would be to the woman involved. You would have to find someone who is strong with themselves and who would CLEARLY understand the situation..I dunno if this makes sense...I just imagine a vulnerable girl with low self esteem confused and reaching out for any kind of attention getting caught up in this sort of situation...good luck though!
High Self Esteem is Sexy
Chances are that we wouldn't have serious feelings about someone with low self esteem to begin with because it's not something I find attractive. Self Esteem is very important to me, and I have many friends who struggle with it, but nobody I'm attracted to. Also, someone with low self esteem would not ideally be the sort of person we would want in a relationship like the one I'm proposing simply because you have to be emotionally strong and somewhat independent in order to love and be loved by more than one person, and to share that love with others.
I really worry about the demeaning aspect. I haven't met anyone who I'm actually asking to be in this sort of relationship, but if I did met someone I thought was great, I don't know how I would approach her with this without insulting her. It's really confusing. That is why, even though it's not in the works right now, we want to be sure we know what we want when the situation presents itself. Thanks for the feedback.
PROS >awesome sex when all
PROS
>awesome sex when all involved
>you get to have both a man and a woman with all you can get from each gender in a relationship
>you're gonna have someone to split the expenses of your girlfriend
>when he wants to watch soccer you're gonna have sex with her
>when she's got her period or headache you're gonna have sex with him
>when he doesn't want to go shopping you can easily say "let's vote to decide". you are 2 against 1
CONS
>your man may realize she's better than you and dump you
>you may realize she's better than him and dump him
>she may realize you both suck and leave with your gardener. it's so tough to find a good gardener nowadays.
>one more ticket at the theater
>she may killyour big black cat while you're asleep
>she may get pregnant. then you will have to test if the kid is yours or his. seriously, you will have to be very cautious for this
>you need to buy a new couch for three, not to mention a bed
>you will have to say goodnight twice and hear it twice as well
For me the "awsome sex" wins! Go for it!
Seriously, if you both want to do it, then do it. But you must look very carefully and it will be hard because it won't be easy to find a bisexual girl that wants that kind of relationship...
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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.
Oh No Yoshimitsu!
How did you know about my cat? Lol. Seriously though, I know it will be hard to find someone like that. It's not like we are pressed for time or NEED a girlfriend, it's just something we've talked about if the opportunity presented itself. Thanks for the feedback!
As a professional replier I
As a professional replier I always read the victim's...uhm...person's profile before I reply... You mention your cat there. Not to mention that I'm your neighbour... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.
Oh yeah
That makes sense. Could you please take your garbage to the dumpster instead of leaving it in the hallway? Thanks.
Oh my god! you have terrible
Oh my god! you have terrible neighbours... I would never do that!
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And if my present deeds are foolish in thy sight, it may be that a foolish judge arraigns my folly.