I just thought that was interesting story and I cant believe people must waste their time and money publishing sh*t like this. I mean get over it, people are people and we all love who we love, and like another poster said "it's not a choice to be gay, it's a choice to come out". But on the other hand, I think we should all be proud of who we are and come on out. Just my 2 cents.

Dig it ~ Love Noodle

Hello everyone!

I would first like say how great I think it is that so many of you are giving well thought out opinions about such an important and controvesial issue. I'd also like to say I think it's awesome that people seem so gracious when responding to views that oppose their own. So many other sites have died because people couldn't keep their cool.

That being said, it's a tough issue, this discussion seems to be trying to explore the issue of the good of the many over the good of the few. Jodie Foster and her family have every advantage any of us could hope for, and some we wouldn't even know about in order to hope for them, good for them. Awesome. I don't wish any of them harm, the truth of the matter is that we private citizens have almost no scope of reference for the decision making that GLBT celebs have to go through the day they realize that they are finally famous. Some of you have spoken of the family members who's lives will be disturbed, the children and friends, but it's not just them. It's every person who could ever be connected in anyway to that celeb. The first guy she kissed, first prom date, people who the famous person hasn't thought of in decades could become the target of nasty or painful allegations based on a photo found at some garage sale. It's a lot to think about, lucky for me I'm not famous.

That being said a few summers back my wife (it's complicated) was gay bashed in a 711 parking lot. The next summer we both went to speak before the Texas Legislative Committe meeting on House Joint Resolution 6, where we each --along with 580+ other citizens-- gave impassioned and ignored speeches about why we all need equal rights.

She isn't famous yet, but the threat of physical harm became a very real one on a very hot summer afternoon. Those of you who argued for the rights of the rich and famous have a point. The dangers exist, but they are much more likely to affect you or me than Jodi F. or A. Cooper. Perhaps when we are speaking up for the private rights of public figures, we should spend an equal amout of time speaking up for the women getting the crap kicked out of them. Perhaps we can let Jodi's security staff worry about how to keep her safe. Maybe our concern really should be that (now famous) kid from Kansas. Or the uninformed masses from everywhere. Or our congressmen and other legislators.My lady found herself in a really sticky situation and used that the try to empower others. It's an option. This is what many commonly refer to as courage. It's not for everyone, otherwise it wouldn't have a name.

Lots of people seemed really concerned about these two very talented and blessed people losing thier jobs (Jodi has a job?) but I still find myself concerned about the average joe's of states like mine where one may be on-the-spot fired if one's boss finds out with whom one is sleeping.

Or those GLBT people who for whatever reason find themselves in the armed forces, they live each day knowing to be found out could be the beginning of the end. When I was in the military, a soldier who fancied himself in love with me called my commander to tell him that I was gay and living with a woman. Just on a mean spirited whim, he hoped to ruin my career and publically embarrass me. (one cannot technically be outed in the military, it must be "confessed" or there must be incontrivertible evidence). I didn't get in much trouble because luckily I chose the medical field (lots o gays). Though my commander, my 1SG, and myself had to have a little conference over why my car looked like it could lead the pride parade, but that's neither here nor there. Had it been any other unit, it very well may have been an entirlely different story.

People don't have to be public figures to have thier jobs snatched out from under them over being gay. All of this outrage on behalf of beloved famous figures is awesome, use your voice, once we all get the hang of it, we can go out and fight for people who don't have off-shore bank accounts and that very cushy buffer of millions of dollars to soften the blow of irrational hatred. Let's parlay this justified outrage on behalf of these few, into a general non-accepatance of the crappy sitaution we are all being forced to swallow.

sorry about the soapbox,
this site rules.

There will always be celebrities that just do not want their orientation discussed. As people that make their living from being in the public eye, this is actually a good route to take. this way they keep their fan base on both sides. I mean, we've all wondered about Ricky Martin, and these days I hear a lot of questions about Kate Moennig's orientation.
When it all comes down to it, who cares? They are great performers, I probably will never meet or date any of them. (Actually, I've been in the same room with both Ricky and Kate, but that's beside the point, and I doubt I made an impression). If they want to keep their private lives, well, private; so be it.
I, myself, chose to keep my orientation private in my workplace. Everyone knew, and I was aware of this, but I never actually admitted it. Until the day my girlfriend dumped me and I had to explain why I was blubbering at work with my head up my ass, but that's a different story.

A lot of the comments i'm reading remind me of Michel Foucault's book The History of Sexuality, which pioneered 'queer theory'.

Foucault argued that as a society we have a fixation with finding out the "truth", a truth that is to be confessed. It is as if sexuality did not exist unless it is confessed. Foucault writes:

"We have since become an extraordinarily confessing society. Confession has spread its effects far and wide: in the judicial system, in medicine, in pedagogy, in familial relations, in amorous relationships, in everyday life and in the most solemn rituals; crimes are confessed, sins are confessed, thoughts and desires are confessed, one's past and one's dreams are confessed, one's childhood is confessed; one's diseases and problems are confessed;..."

And here's my point, in a sense, a "coming out" is like a confession which denotes that whatever is confessed is 'negative' in the sense that one does not confess what is seen as common or the norm. A straight kid ain't going to sit the folks down and say "I like the opposite sex" like it's this giant truth which only once confessed can be accepted.

Hopefully, in the future, it will be more a case of "ok, you like girls, i can see that because you have a girlfriend" (in the case of J Foster perhaps)
rather than it being:

"Jodie F tells world she's a lesbian"...

Why should she, it's a natural, normal way of life...what is there to confess?

Of course the thing i'm talking about here with regards to JF is her making a public statement, I still think she should be seen out with her g/f and doing all the normal things couples do, not hiding any part of her life. This may stop it from being so sensationalist...but actually what we'd end up with are tabloids acting like they have uncovered the "truth", 'JF spotted canoodling with x'..etc

What we really want is for the starting point to change from "you're straight unless you say otherwise" how nice would it be to grow up in a world where nothing is presumed.

It's that old adage of "I wish I wasn't gay" ...no...you wish society didn't have any issue with it.

I think coming out is hard for anybody but if you're not famous or semi famous then how can you dictate to these people when they should come out? You aren't famous and you don't have your face splashed across the screen by gossip mags every day. Yes many regular folks go through their own ordeals with families and it's terrible but it's not in front of THE ENTIRE WORLD. Give me the ladder any day of the week to deal with than being famous and dealing with my sexuality for the world to see.

No one has the right to tell someone when it's time to come out, period. And yes if one of those celebs has a crazy person decide to go after them because of them being outted I won't blame the magazine entirely but I will consider them with blood on their hands.

*******************
I banged LisaBang and all I got was this lousy signature. :D

I am sort of sick that I am old enough to have such a visceral reaction to this topic. Not that I am making assumptions about the ages of those leaving comments. Perhaps I am just out of touch or old. Or tired. Or all three. Howeverrrrrr....

This is the thing that makes me furious. Of course the humanist part of me believes that each individual has a right to her own privacy. Of course I believe that people's private lives are their own business and of course I believe that sometimes tuning out any outside information is the best method of survival.

At the same time, I wonder how some of you think we got here? Do you actually believe that the world just turned for long enough that we are now the beneficiaries of the pitiful advances in legal rights and social attitudes that exist in our country today? Do you really think that it just magically happened?

What if I told you that there are literally millions of people in their 40's and 50's and even some in their 20's who have been brave enough to make a stand for all of the rest of us? Do you know how many obviously queer drag queens and bulldykes have had the literal shit beaten out of them to advance YOUR rights? Not to mention those of us who have written checks equal to several vacation homes and spent our literal or figurative children's inheritances supplying the cash necessary to fund those fights?

Even after all of that, here's the worse news. Your government still thinks you do not deserve the same rights as your straight next door neighbors. Maybe you have an easier time telling your friends you are gay or maybe it is easier to fall for gay for a day girls but that is social progress, not rights. The acceptance of our culture by the media has been driven by one single thing. We have money to spend and they want it. That's basically it folks. When it comes to legal and legislative advances, we are sadly lacking in triumphs. You can't get legally married (although I personally don't care much about that I know some of you do), you are being denied over 1000 legal and financial provisions that are automatically extended to your straight siblings, you must pay an attorney to draft the documents necessary to insure that you can enter a hospital room to see your partner on her deathbed (God forbid) and a bazillion other rights that YOU DO NOT HAVE AS AN AMERICAN.

So, those who have spent their entire adult lives fighting and scraping and begging for a place at the much heralded table are really pissed when others take that for granted. Celebrities are one issue and your rights are another. Do not be fooled into thinking that just because Ellen hosted the Oscars that you can do whatever you want to and that poor Jodie Foster should be left in her glass closet to betray who she is. Self righteous? You bet I am..

There are reasons why some of us think that is crap and they revolve around the idea that it isn't quite time for us to relax and stop pushing. If it hasn't affected you yet, I promise you that it will. There are days when I want to scream, can you just say thank you and do your part for five minutes? Can I just stop carrying you on my back for 2 seconds and let you see what it means to do something for your people? Today is not one of those days but I do think that if you are interested in why you might consider becoming more informed on the subject of what you are now or soon will be missing, you might study up on it. Jodie Foster doesn't have these problems but you will.

Go to www.hrc.org or www.thetaskforce.org or www.glaad.org or www.victoryfund.org and read. Then write them a check and we will leave Jodie Foster alone. Did you know that Cybill Shepard was criticized in the 1990's because she was one of the first straight celebrities to support gay rights? Now she's on the L Word but YOU can still be fired from your job in some states, YOU cannot get married and there are still teenagers in Oklahoma who are killing themselves because they think they are the only one.

I can also say that some of the most rewarding moments of my life have come about because of the pride that accompanies standing up for myself and my beliefs and finding that there is power in shouting that I am as good as anyone else.
I apologize in advance for taking up so much real estate on this blog post but I cannot stay silent about this.
Missy Nomer

Everyone has a right to be private, especially about something so personal as sexuality. I think it's nobody's business but yours and the person in the bedroom with you. Anything else is your choice to tell, or not.
In Anderson Cooper's case particularly, if he came out and verified the rumors (and no, I don't think they are false), he could be in danger. As part of his job, he goes to places where merely being gay would almost certainly get him killed. Or at least it's a LOT more likely than it is in the USA.
Monica
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~