boy.. This is really helpful.. Where did i come from. Well i have a 7 year relationship that ended. And because i dont want someone that knows me or her to end up reading this i wont go into it. But with all the respect and love i have for her. We worked it! i mean if you can think it, we tried it. and she loved me. truely and still does.

Im not happy. and i do love her. but i am so right there with you.

When we lived together we kept making up. But the things that hurt us. the things that cause lack of trust. they never seemed to go away. it recently came down to me moving closer to work. this is almost a 3 hour time difference. funny things happen when you get your own space again. you start to remember who you were.etc.

When it hurts more to be together than to be apart. regardless of how much you love and respect the person for being a good person, it still doesnt make it right. No matter how amazing or how sexy.
((Sigh))

if you need to chat. i will .. cause we are in the same boat.

I really am sorry. I honestly believe everything will be fine, seriously. I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but without respect and honesty and all of the above, love isn't enough. You deserve to be with someone who respects you. I know this is hard but you will get through this. If you ever need anyone to talk to or even vent to, feel free to msg me.

Without trust, respect, and mutual caring, love simply doesn't exist, and none of the rest of it will really matter after a while.

And, like it or not, you're never going to return to the person you were before. It just doesn't work that way. She will always be a part of you, and you her, even if you never see each other again. Add to that your views and outlooks have changed over the years, and, well...

Next time, start out as friends first. There are many things we can accept in friendships we couldn't live with in a lover/partner. Eventually, you will (hopefully) meet someone who you are friends with that you will be happy with more from, and who feels the same way. Take your time, keep your head, and don't live in the past.

Illegitimi non carborundum

awww first of all im sorry... i went thru that 4.5 years ago and i was devastated.... and well, all i can do is assure u you'll be fine.... go for that goal on retrieving urself.... that happened to me too, after that relationship i had no clue who i was anymore cuz i sorta fused with her and it was not me, but us.... i stopped talkin to many friends, i stopped doing several things i enjoyed, cuz she became the most important center in my life (which was a mistake, cuz thats not wut relationships are about.... but she was my first love and first everything just like u, so its very common to make that sorta mistakes...which u learn about and believe me, they just dont ever happen again... hehe).

i wish u the best!... enjoy ur freedom, urself, and remember who u are... its time to create a new you collecting stuff before ur relationship, and the new stuff after it, join it together and ull be a better and more experienced person!

good luck!!! =)

PS. if u ever wanna vent on sumone or wutever, u can send a msg!!!! *peace.

same thing happened to me this summer.

don't do what i decided to do and go out on ridiculous drinking binges, end up getting with really trashy girls and then spend your entire leftover student loan on clothes to make yourself feel better.

what really helps is just being round your friends. at times like this they just pull through for you.

and after a while you come to realise that you find yourself again and come to know what makes you happy.

however, what really sucks is that it takes time....

(ps sorry if this doesnt help much, but my heart goes out to you)