I have decided that in order to figure out what I need to learn, I need to take me time. I too have that same story of falling for the same ole same. And to break that, I'm tending to me first and doing a mental over-haul way of thinking as far as what I really want in a lover and companion. At 36, it is a little trying to "take time" and discover after years of just "going for it".

well for one i have no idea why my last relationship ended.
i wasnt ready for one but i wanted to be serious with somebody and i just couldnt find the balance between its difficulties and happiness. so it turned into nothing but conflict.. and we all know that there is only so much each of us can take being human n whatnot.

so i say you learn better when it hurts the most cuz u will never forget that shiet.

"...any relationship that matters-a friendship, a family, a romance, a band-anything-is a perilous and fragile thing because along with all the amazing experiences and creations that can come from something so intimate and exhausting comes the possibly for things to crumble and shatter or whither and die. when that happens, it's easy to forget what was precious amidst all the disaster we should always carry our history with us but never let it bury us." [defiance, ohio-bikes and bridges]

i've been with my wonderful partner for almost 5 years. we have had alot of hard times in just a few short years. but, i think what has held us together is the fact that we were good friends before we became anything more. now, she is my first, and i plan on her being my last as well.
the strong friendship helped us alot because in the first year of our relationship, she went to brazil to teach for 6 months.
now, honestly i couldn't imagin my life without her. another reason that we can stay together is that we also are totally honest with each other. that's a key to any good relationship. even if it hurts alittle sometimes to be honest, we both understand that we are both human and do make mistakes. we live and learn and move on and dont let petty stuff become a big issue. we yell and fight just like everyone else, but when it does get hard, i remind myself how much i do love her.
i hope that everyone else can become as lucky as me, and find the one that makes you happy, and is the reason that you wake up in the morning like she is for me. :>

It appears that my partner and I.... are rare birds....we have been in our relationship for over 10 years. We just celebrated our 10th year anniversary in September!

In that ten years we have experienced just about everything a couple can go through....finances....illnesses.....family...and after 10 years I still get a thrill when I hear her voice ...she is the last sight I want my eyes to see every day and the first vision I want to see in the morning.

Do we have difficulties....yes we have countless....but at the end of the day....when the dust settles and we recount our day....I am thankful that we have lived...and loved...another day together. It is a gift...

Peace
Tesser
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a ride!!! Next!!!!!

i have seen that kind of pattern, being to into it to fast, letting lust take over and watching it all go up in flames soon there after.. im trying to retrain myself to take things slow and just be..
its not in my dna and its hard.. but we have to recognize the faults to mend and start something new and lasting..

Ameara

I did plenty of things wrong in my 5 year domestic partnership that officially ended in March...well, it's not "official" yet as we have to get it legally annulled, which you can do if it's less than 5 years. This was my second longest relationship and she is about 9 years younger than me. I've been cataloging mentally what I did wrong, should not have done, will not do again with my actions and words. I've also been able to draw some parallels between this and my previous relationship of 10 years with a man 16 years older than me. I have to acknowledge some similarities that proved to be the core downfall of both and question myself about this. It takes two to tango.

I realized definitively around Feb. of this year that we had stopped being friends, which I believe happened only because she was out of the country for 3 months and we had some true space for the first time and could breathe and think. I'm still wondering if we ever actually developed a real friendship from the beginning, as we were overwhelmed with our magnetism towards each other, which led to breaking it off with the respective people we were involved with at the time, both long distance, and then the typical uhaul arrival the next day, and away we go, hello 2008.

When I look back now (easy, duh) there were clear signs of differences in what was important to us. Those things never went away, in fact, over time became so magnified that it created a hostile and very stressful situation, more and more as time went on. The reality is, we should have ended it, at the very least, a few years ago. Sometimes things just run their course. Why do we stay past that? Love, hope, maybe...

Peace, Jodie