What is it with kids today? In all my years on the planet, I've never actually come to fisticuffs with anyone. (Well, that's not entirely true. Mike Hymbaugh and I did exchange a punch for an arm twist when I was a pre-teen.) I mean, I had a couple of girls threaten to kick my ass over the years for stupid shit like who sits where on the bus, but it never came to pass. Thank God. I like to claim the moniker of pacifist as honestly as I can.
So it is with absolute inexperience and horror that I view several events this year in which teenage girls beat the crap out of each other and videotaped it for posterity or infamy. Why? Why? Why?
First there was 16-year-old Victoria Lindsay in Florida. On March 30, she was supposedly lured to a friend's house and then attacked by six other girls while two boys kept watch outside. The girls pummeled her until she was unconscious, then resumed the beating when she came to. And they caught it all on tape. According to Sheriff Grady Judd, the kids showed absolutely no remorse, joking about cheerleader practice and spring break while they were in custody. The girls claim Lindsay insulted them on MySpace and that was their motive. However, Lindsay's father says it was all about becoming popular on YouTube with the video of the incident. The six assailants were all charged as adults with battery and kidnapping.
Two weeks after the Lindsay attack, a 14-year-old girl in Prescott Valley, Ariz. was eating lunch in the school cafeteria when a 15-year-old classmate bashed her over the head with a folding chair, knocking her unconscious. Naturally, the event was videotaped and posted online. Apparently, Taylor Hedlund used to be friends with her attacker, but had a falling out: "I didn't really expect her to ever want to fight me. She said she wanted to, but I didn't think she was actually going to do it," Hedlund said. The girl was provoked to violence when Hedlund called her fat.
A third incursion happened on June 10. Sydnee Longhurst, 15, was recently ordered to perform 20 hours of community service and placed on indefinite probation for attacking an unidentified female student allegedly for her support of gay rights. Longhurst's accomplice, Crystal VanderLaan, also 15, pleaded no contest to aggravated assault and will be sentenced November 3. Once again, the attack was videotaped and posted on the Internet. School security cameras also caught the action. At her sentencing, Longhurst conceded, "I know I did something wrong. I just got caught up in something I shouldn't have and I made a huge mistake. It was not anything to do with her personal views."
I'm truly flabbergasted by the frequency and magnitude of the violence. The worst thing that ever happened to anyone in my high school was being put in a trashcan, and that certainly didn't render them unconscious or even bruised, except maybe in the ego.
Where are these violent tendencies coming from and why? Is it the lure of global fame via YouTube? Is it the desensitization caused by gore-filled movies and video games? Is it absentee parents? Is it bad schools? Inquiring minds want to know. Anyone have any insight? Anyone? Bueller?
You have to wonder (where girls are concerned) where that level of anger comes from? I'd be looking to see what she has experienced at home - domestic violence, sexual abuse?
Hitting that girl on the head with the chair ... (with no FORESIGHT that it could have actually killed her).
I do think a lot of kids live in a fantasy world these days with video games and viewing f*cked up things on the internet.
Look at how the games have changed ... We grew up playing Frog Run, Pac Man, Space Invaders!
There was no slaughtering, raping, killing cops, being rewarded with sex from a cyber slut (in our generations games).
The only porn we got to watch, was if we got into our parent's or older sibling's 'stash' of 1 or 2 - 80's video tapes! (and we had to be quick, as we were not left home ALONE long enough to watch it).
I think much of the violence is due to kids being systematically desensitized and parents becoming lazy and wrapped up their own drama.
I had a rough life from a young age and I was no stranger to the belt or a backhand..I was A fighter..Were I grew up and went to school you had to be...In 7th grade after transfering to a new school, I tried out for the basketball team. I made it, if anyone was wondering...But the girl who I replaced didn't like that too much and neither did her friends...I caught a nice ass whoopin..fractured face, broken nose, and a matching set of black eyes...No it wasn't video taped and yes I had to cut school for weeks trying to heal up, but when I got back I fought ever single one of them...all 5 of them, one on one. And after that moment I never backed down, never thought twice, and made sure with every ability I had in me to never let that happen to anyone else, if I knew them or not..And while I would never wish that kinnda pain on my worse enemy. I can honestly say that ass whoopin made me a better person, a stronger person and it taught me how to stand up for myself and others who couldn't stand up for themselves...I was 12 then, I'm 22 now, and I couldn't tell you how many fights I've been in..But I can say that I wasn't in my eyes a violent kid, I didn't like hurting people, it actually kinnda made my heart hurt..but it made my heart hurt more when I saw kids who were bullied or pushed around, and my anger outweighed my guilt every single time...I'm not advocating violence, but what I am saying is that sometimes what a bully needs is a little bullying...An Anti-Bully if you will
aren't they? the only thing that changed i think is the borders that no longer end with the personal experience, but are endless with the help of the internet. youtube and other vids showing beating ups, jackass-jokes and porn lead kids to try that at home. when i was younger, insulting somebody with "ass" or "slut" was already the height of what you could do to somebody, but when diskussions already start with those words today, its clearly going further than that.
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." Oscar Wilde
The internet is just the light for the behavior...I'm sure that these teens don't have close relationships with their parents. At least not healthy ones. Most people are not mature enough to raise children and pass on this immaturity to their in their daily lives.
Think about the time and effort these kids put into "stupid shit". If they only knew about the larger view of life and living maybe they would apply this zeal to be some sort of Myspace star ( how fucking short sited can you be )to saving money, school work, or planning a life that does not include explaining why you have been incarcerated for dumb shit to the Mcdonalds shift manager when that's the ONLY job that MAY consider you for employment after your "bid".
Clearly the conversations these kids are NOT having with their parents and the excessive amount of time teens are unsupervised is the real culprit in my opinion. I'm always blown away by what young people don't know...since when did young people become such addicts to commercialism...they barely know how to rebel in the classic sense. I don't care if they smoke crack while they watch "my supersweet sixteen"...just don't buy into either fantasy.
It would be nice if MTV would produce a show about being happy with your soft suburban life..instead of the constant "aspire to more selfishness shows"...that sort of programming is a bigger threat than lawlessness of the net to me.
"and now I'd like to entertain you all with some fancy pageant walking"
a book called the road less traveled. Best book I ever read. Makes more sense today then ever. Biggest gift you can give your kids, parents, lover whoever is TIME.
I'm not a parent but; I have been a child and my parents were so involved in my life that it bugged me. That was then this is now. Thanks......
I can't say for sure, but let's not jump to the "blame the media" stereotype. I always respond to this charge with the suggestion that violence in the media doesn't create violent children and adolescents so much as it "encourages" the ones that already have the propensity for aggressive behavior. There's also the issue of the mental and emotional development of children and adolescents. Kids, for instance, have a difficult time separating reality from fantasy, hence the number of kids karate-chopping each other in the 90s because of Power Rangers or jumping off rooftops thinking they are Batman. So maybe there is a "disconnect" there of not only the inability to distinguish reality from fantasy but also the inability to understand "cause and effect." Kids are perhaps exposed to way too much violence before they reach the emotional maturity they need to handle it, lest it affect their behavior negatively. But I'm digressing, talking about children whereas you're talking about teenagers, but perhaps it starts in childhood. What creates violent teenagers, then? Maybe an exposure to a variety of negative environmental factors combined with an innate propensity towards violence? Tons of studies have been done on this and I'm not citing any here, but of course society is to blame. It always has been. But it's also always changing.
Violence has pretty much always been with us-- maybe it just has this sense of urgency now because stories like these are so widely circulated and overexposed. I'd say probably statistics, not reflecting back on the "good old days" where nobody ever hurt anybody would be a better way to examine the frequency of violence among teenagers over the decades.
or an old one that is more public because of the ease of broadcasting.
I have always been assertive. I tend not to back down (although I have gotten better with this as I have gotten older), and yes I have been in fights. If you hit me, don't expect me to sit by and take it. My dad taught me to box for a reason.
That being said, I think society is as much to blame for the problem, if not more so then parents. You can't smack a child, you can't remove privledges, you can't do this and you can't do that - and then the law says "your a minor, have a lollipop" when you commit a crime. It's twisted, and it doesn't help.
It also doesn't help that we are in an age where taking responsibility for your actions is so not done... this is for all, not just teens. How can we expect the next generation to act well, when the older generation fucks around?
I was not a naturally mean or aggressive kid. I was raised by parents who thoroughly explained to me tolerance and pacifism at a young age and also sent me to the best schools they could find. (No drugs, guns, gangs, etc.) We had no TV in the house for most of those years and internet wasn't around yet. Despite this "perfect" environment, I still got into fights.
My gender confusion issues left me as the geek outsider and kids responded by bullying me. I was big enough to fight back, so I only got into a couple of fights before they backed off. Other kids I knew were regularly beat up or otherwise abused for their entire school careers. Bullying happens in all schools, because kids aren't grown up yet and some have poor parenting or whatever. It terrifies me that these bullies are now finding role models that make them consider kidnap, aggravated assault, or shoot-outs as justifiable ways to let off steam.
Most of us could raise our kids to not be the attackers, but can any of us guarantee they won't be victims?
Unregulated internet access may be a culprit, or crazy x-box games, or a bunch of other things - it is probably different for each kid. So if the parents are falling down on the job it is virtually impossible to just legislate a solution. Or could we pass a law making parent-child quality time mandatory?
two rules in my household.....
The first I received from my Grandparents....Tell your Children everyday that you love them.
The second is honesty.
I have a teenager...honor roll,works,in sports and has a social life. She realizes her responsibility to herself and others. Privileges are earned out of respect for herself, others and the rules.
My advice.. spend time with your children...real time..listen and hear what they have to say and respect it, it's how they are feeling and nothing is more important than that.
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"The greatest gift you can give someone is to truly listen." Kerri Mosley
I was just reading a section last night wherein he talked about parenting in terms of Being with your kids rather than just doing things with them. You have to really be with them on a human-to-human level, treat them as equals there because they are.
I hate fighting. Between wrestling with my brothers growing up into full blown punch fights over who sits where to...just because he looked at me wrong and was about to do something. I saved most of my fighting for my brother(s).
But getting into to the school era, hitting girls is not what I wanted to do....though some girls were very trying. I was a tomboy. The girlie girls...well...did not make any sense. A tomboy does not hit a girl. I knew that.
Boys, I understood. And knew how to handle them. Thankfully most boys didn't treat me like my brothers did.
I learned in the third grade with one of my boy friends that not all boys played like my brothers...the day after I threw him into the tree while playing...he cold cocked me with a hit to my temple and had me seeing stars on my knees.
And that was that.
I do stay away from fighting. And try to, but...when push comes to shove...one never knows...
But I am more the kind that will stand up and fight for her friends...then fight for herself.
I really don't get this internet stuff and the kids.
My 15 year old son got in hot hot water back in late August/ early september. He slept over his "cousin's" house and apparently went down into the fridge...got a beer. Took it upstairs and used his phone to take pictures and videos of him drinking it.
Now. I grew up. I understand the beer part. I know it's wrong, I've been there...he's not the first nor last teen to steal a beer, but....my discussion with him was based on what made him capture that ...KNOWING..how I was very adamant about looking through his phone and seeing who he's talking with and when and I'd like to know about what..but I know he needs privacy.
And asking him he was just saying it wasn't for anyone to see...not for his friends or anything...
Then I told him he was dumb for leaving evidence around - because it looks like he was WANTING to get caught.
And like always, his punishment was to take his phone, my link to him, away. And they blamed me for it, because it was the phone that made him do it...and I bought the phone..and it's me, the reason for him having a phone in the first place.
So since I saw him in the beginning of August I've only talked with him about 4 times. Which should be everyday.
I say, this was his way of acting up...rebelling...trying to have control. It was also not long after he asked and begged his father to let him live with me...to which his father replied "maybe next year if you prove to me your grades are good."
He's an A-B student.
He knows his father just didn't want to answer him. He basically said no without saying no.
for teens, therefore no way the internet could undermine any authority. No boundaries, no supervision, no guidance.
I think there is a lot of adults who know how to get around a computer enough to control what their kids do. The real question is are they paying enough attention to what their kids are doing? Are adults too self-absorbed with their own stuff to even care about their kids activities?
For the record, I know it's not every parent...but there is a lot.
well im a teenager and that is true because im sitting in my bedroom on my laptop with a wireless connection and my family doesnt have a clue what im doing, but the biggest problem i think is that most people dont think about what happends to the information they put on the internet? i know people who dont hesitate to give out there phone number or address and even post these on there profiles on social networking sites and as for posting photos they dont realise that once its up it could stay on the internet forever any one in the world could see and use those photos however they want its even become common to 'face stalk' people through there own and other peoples profiles
i found out a friend was doing this a while ago she printed a bunch of photos of a guy off his profile and clamed to be dateing him but theyd never met and he didnt even know she was doing this. now thats just creepy if u ask me!
I remember when I was a kid and I got into trouble for something I did, after the punishment was rendered, I would say to myself (or any of my peers who would listen), "When I have kids I won't ever do this to them.", or "I won't ever raise my kids this way.". I know we have all had that thought back then. Then we all grew up and had kids and raised them exactly the way we were raised. The difference between now and then (the values shift you referred to) is parents now are actually keeping their word.
when i was in high school every once in a while the working class kids would beat up the suburbanites, and once some girl tried to fight with me - hit me and then ran away when i stood there and laughed at her, but nothing too serious and personal video cameras were new and still out of the price range of most of our parents. my musical partner, however, grew up in inner city cleveland around the same time and had a quite different experience with violence growing up.
i don't get the 'lets beat the crap out of someone for a cool youtube video' (and provide the prosecutor with all the evidence they need), or why someone would think it was cool to watch a video of someone getting beat.
ok, i must admit now that i think about it, i punched scott mccleod in the nose on the playground in 3rd grade after he was being mean to my friend ethel (first time i was called a lesbian was for holding hands with her at recess) and threw some fellow into the wall in 7th grade in defense of my best friend. rare outbursts in a life of personal and political pacifism.
I think in some ways, the internet vastly undermines authority in a teen's life. It is a place where their whims are catered to so much so that they do not believe in the boundaries guardians/parents set for them. Without realistic responses to their behavior or their attitudes, mostly because the people who are responding to them are teens themselves or advertisers who want to take advantage, they become a bit ego maniacal and aggressive a lá Lord of the Flies.
Parents lack the know how of the internet and the time to learn about it. Kids know how to program computers and edit videos largely before any adult is aware of their abilities.
25 Comments
I don't know ...
You have to wonder (where girls are concerned) where that level of anger comes from? I'd be looking to see what she has experienced at home - domestic violence, sexual abuse?
Hitting that girl on the head with the chair ... (with no FORESIGHT that it could have actually killed her).
I do think a lot of kids live in a fantasy world these days with video games and viewing f*cked up things on the internet.
Look at how the games have changed ... We grew up playing Frog Run, Pac Man, Space Invaders!
There was no slaughtering, raping, killing cops, being rewarded with sex from a cyber slut (in our generations games).
The only porn we got to watch, was if we got into our parent's or older sibling's 'stash' of 1 or 2 - 80's video tapes! (and we had to be quick, as we were not left home ALONE long enough to watch it).
I think much of the violence is due to kids being systematically desensitized and parents becoming lazy and wrapped up their own drama.
Not gonna lie
I had a rough life from a young age and I was no stranger to the belt or a backhand..I was A fighter..Were I grew up and went to school you had to be...In 7th grade after transfering to a new school, I tried out for the basketball team. I made it, if anyone was wondering...But the girl who I replaced didn't like that too much and neither did her friends...I caught a nice ass whoopin..fractured face, broken nose, and a matching set of black eyes...No it wasn't video taped and yes I had to cut school for weeks trying to heal up, but when I got back I fought ever single one of them...all 5 of them, one on one. And after that moment I never backed down, never thought twice, and made sure with every ability I had in me to never let that happen to anyone else, if I knew them or not..And while I would never wish that kinnda pain on my worse enemy. I can honestly say that ass whoopin made me a better person, a stronger person and it taught me how to stand up for myself and others who couldn't stand up for themselves...I was 12 then, I'm 22 now, and I couldn't tell you how many fights I've been in..But I can say that I wasn't in my eyes a violent kid, I didn't like hurting people, it actually kinnda made my heart hurt..but it made my heart hurt more when I saw kids who were bullied or pushed around, and my anger outweighed my guilt every single time...I'm not advocating violence, but what I am saying is that sometimes what a bully needs is a little bullying...An Anti-Bully if you will
teenagers are testing out borders
aren't they? the only thing that changed i think is the borders that no longer end with the personal experience, but are endless with the help of the internet. youtube and other vids showing beating ups, jackass-jokes and porn lead kids to try that at home. when i was younger, insulting somebody with "ass" or "slut" was already the height of what you could do to somebody, but when diskussions already start with those words today, its clearly going further than that.
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." Oscar Wilde
It's not about the Internet
The internet is just the light for the behavior...I'm sure that these teens don't have close relationships with their parents. At least not healthy ones. Most people are not mature enough to raise children and pass on this immaturity to their in their daily lives.
Think about the time and effort these kids put into "stupid shit". If they only knew about the larger view of life and living maybe they would apply this zeal to be some sort of Myspace star ( how fucking short sited can you be )to saving money, school work, or planning a life that does not include explaining why you have been incarcerated for dumb shit to the Mcdonalds shift manager when that's the ONLY job that MAY consider you for employment after your "bid".
Clearly the conversations these kids are NOT having with their parents and the excessive amount of time teens are unsupervised is the real culprit in my opinion. I'm always blown away by what young people don't know...since when did young people become such addicts to commercialism...they barely know how to rebel in the classic sense. I don't care if they smoke crack while they watch "my supersweet sixteen"...just don't buy into either fantasy.
It would be nice if MTV would produce a show about being happy with your soft suburban life..instead of the constant "aspire to more selfishness shows"...that sort of programming is a bigger threat than lawlessness of the net to me.
"and now I'd like to entertain you all with some fancy pageant walking"
There's
a book called the road less traveled. Best book I ever read. Makes more sense today then ever. Biggest gift you can give your kids, parents, lover whoever is TIME.
I'm not a parent but; I have been a child and my parents were so involved in my life that it bugged me. That was then this is now. Thanks......
btfan2
Were there ever any good old days of innocence?
I can't say for sure, but let's not jump to the "blame the media" stereotype. I always respond to this charge with the suggestion that violence in the media doesn't create violent children and adolescents so much as it "encourages" the ones that already have the propensity for aggressive behavior. There's also the issue of the mental and emotional development of children and adolescents. Kids, for instance, have a difficult time separating reality from fantasy, hence the number of kids karate-chopping each other in the 90s because of Power Rangers or jumping off rooftops thinking they are Batman. So maybe there is a "disconnect" there of not only the inability to distinguish reality from fantasy but also the inability to understand "cause and effect." Kids are perhaps exposed to way too much violence before they reach the emotional maturity they need to handle it, lest it affect their behavior negatively. But I'm digressing, talking about children whereas you're talking about teenagers, but perhaps it starts in childhood. What creates violent teenagers, then? Maybe an exposure to a variety of negative environmental factors combined with an innate propensity towards violence? Tons of studies have been done on this and I'm not citing any here, but of course society is to blame. It always has been. But it's also always changing.
Violence has pretty much always been with us-- maybe it just has this sense of urgency now because stories like these are so widely circulated and overexposed. I'd say probably statistics, not reflecting back on the "good old days" where nobody ever hurt anybody would be a better way to examine the frequency of violence among teenagers over the decades.
I wonder if tis is a new problem
or an old one that is more public because of the ease of broadcasting.
I have always been assertive. I tend not to back down (although I have gotten better with this as I have gotten older), and yes I have been in fights. If you hit me, don't expect me to sit by and take it. My dad taught me to box for a reason.
That being said, I think society is as much to blame for the problem, if not more so then parents. You can't smack a child, you can't remove privledges, you can't do this and you can't do that - and then the law says "your a minor, have a lollipop" when you commit a crime. It's twisted, and it doesn't help.
It also doesn't help that we are in an age where taking responsibility for your actions is so not done... this is for all, not just teens. How can we expect the next generation to act well, when the older generation fucks around?
I was not a naturally mean
I was not a naturally mean or aggressive kid. I was raised by parents who thoroughly explained to me tolerance and pacifism at a young age and also sent me to the best schools they could find. (No drugs, guns, gangs, etc.) We had no TV in the house for most of those years and internet wasn't around yet. Despite this "perfect" environment, I still got into fights.
My gender confusion issues left me as the geek outsider and kids responded by bullying me. I was big enough to fight back, so I only got into a couple of fights before they backed off. Other kids I knew were regularly beat up or otherwise abused for their entire school careers. Bullying happens in all schools, because kids aren't grown up yet and some have poor parenting or whatever. It terrifies me that these bullies are now finding role models that make them consider kidnap, aggravated assault, or shoot-outs as justifiable ways to let off steam.
Most of us could raise our kids to not be the attackers, but can any of us guarantee they won't be victims?
Unregulated internet access may be a culprit, or crazy x-box games, or a bunch of other things - it is probably different for each kid. So if the parents are falling down on the job it is virtually impossible to just legislate a solution. Or could we pass a law making parent-child quality time mandatory?
I have ....
two rules in my household.....
The first I received from my Grandparents....Tell your Children everyday that you love them.
The second is honesty.
I have a teenager...honor roll,works,in sports and has a social life. She realizes her responsibility to herself and others. Privileges are earned out of respect for herself, others and the rules.
My advice.. spend time with your children...real time..listen and hear what they have to say and respect it, it's how they are feeling and nothing is more important than that.
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"The greatest gift you can give someone is to truly listen." Kerri Mosley
Another nod to Eckhart Tolle.
I was just reading a section last night wherein he talked about parenting in terms of Being with your kids rather than just doing things with them. You have to really be with them on a human-to-human level, treat them as equals there because they are.
Exactly.....
That's the greatest gift my Grandparents gave me!
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"The greatest gift you can give someone is to truly listen." Kerri Mosley
You know,
now that I think of it, my grandparents gave me that gift, too. But my parents surely didn't.
No parents here either.....;)
Well I had them....you know what I mean!
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"The greatest gift you can give someone is to truly listen." Kerri Mosley
i wish my mother had been
i wish my mother had been like you.
Thank you!
Big Hugs to you!
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"The greatest gift you can give someone is to truly listen." Kerri Mosley
I hate fighting. Between
I hate fighting. Between wrestling with my brothers growing up into full blown punch fights over who sits where to...just because he looked at me wrong and was about to do something. I saved most of my fighting for my brother(s).
But getting into to the school era, hitting girls is not what I wanted to do....though some girls were very trying. I was a tomboy. The girlie girls...well...did not make any sense. A tomboy does not hit a girl. I knew that.
Boys, I understood. And knew how to handle them. Thankfully most boys didn't treat me like my brothers did.
I learned in the third grade with one of my boy friends that not all boys played like my brothers...the day after I threw him into the tree while playing...he cold cocked me with a hit to my temple and had me seeing stars on my knees.
And that was that.
I do stay away from fighting. And try to, but...when push comes to shove...one never knows...
But I am more the kind that will stand up and fight for her friends...then fight for herself.
I really don't get this internet stuff and the kids.
My 15 year old son got in hot hot water back in late August/ early september. He slept over his "cousin's" house and apparently went down into the fridge...got a beer. Took it upstairs and used his phone to take pictures and videos of him drinking it.
Now. I grew up. I understand the beer part. I know it's wrong, I've been there...he's not the first nor last teen to steal a beer, but....my discussion with him was based on what made him capture that ...KNOWING..how I was very adamant about looking through his phone and seeing who he's talking with and when and I'd like to know about what..but I know he needs privacy.
And asking him he was just saying it wasn't for anyone to see...not for his friends or anything...
Then I told him he was dumb for leaving evidence around - because it looks like he was WANTING to get caught.
And like always, his punishment was to take his phone, my link to him, away. And they blamed me for it, because it was the phone that made him do it...and I bought the phone..and it's me, the reason for him having a phone in the first place.
So since I saw him in the beginning of August I've only talked with him about 4 times. Which should be everyday.
I say, this was his way of acting up...rebelling...trying to have control. It was also not long after he asked and begged his father to let him live with me...to which his father replied "maybe next year if you prove to me your grades are good."
He's an A-B student.
He knows his father just didn't want to answer him. He basically said no without saying no.
rovermom :)
Life is a 3D puzzle and everyone has a piece!
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There are no limits anymore
for teens, therefore no way the internet could undermine any authority. No boundaries, no supervision, no guidance.
I think there is a lot of adults who know how to get around a computer enough to control what their kids do. The real question is are they paying enough attention to what their kids are doing? Are adults too self-absorbed with their own stuff to even care about their kids activities?
For the record, I know it's not every parent...but there is a lot.
well im a teenager and that
well im a teenager and that is true because im sitting in my bedroom on my laptop with a wireless connection and my family doesnt have a clue what im doing, but the biggest problem i think is that most people dont think about what happends to the information they put on the internet? i know people who dont hesitate to give out there phone number or address and even post these on there profiles on social networking sites and as for posting photos they dont realise that once its up it could stay on the internet forever any one in the world could see and use those photos however they want its even become common to 'face stalk' people through there own and other peoples profiles
i found out a friend was doing this a while ago she printed a bunch of photos of a guy off his profile and clamed to be dateing him but theyd never met and he didnt even know she was doing this. now thats just creepy if u ask me!
very true. i didn't have
very true. i didn't have much supervision or guidance, neither did many of my friends.
Me either.
But all I did was go outside and play either alone or with friends. I think our values have shifted.
I remember when I was a kid
I remember when I was a kid and I got into trouble for something I did, after the punishment was rendered, I would say to myself (or any of my peers who would listen), "When I have kids I won't ever do this to them.", or "I won't ever raise my kids this way.". I know we have all had that thought back then. Then we all grew up and had kids and raised them exactly the way we were raised. The difference between now and then (the values shift you referred to) is parents now are actually keeping their word.
when i was in high school
when i was in high school every once in a while the working class kids would beat up the suburbanites, and once some girl tried to fight with me - hit me and then ran away when i stood there and laughed at her, but nothing too serious and personal video cameras were new and still out of the price range of most of our parents. my musical partner, however, grew up in inner city cleveland around the same time and had a quite different experience with violence growing up.
i don't get the 'lets beat the crap out of someone for a cool youtube video' (and provide the prosecutor with all the evidence they need), or why someone would think it was cool to watch a video of someone getting beat.
ok, i must admit now that i think about it, i punched scott mccleod in the nose on the playground in 3rd grade after he was being mean to my friend ethel (first time i was called a lesbian was for holding hands with her at recess) and threw some fellow into the wall in 7th grade in defense of my best friend. rare outbursts in a life of personal and political pacifism.
folk the wars!
Where is Ethel now?
Where is Ethel now?
that's a good question. she
that's a good question. she moved out of state when we were in 5th grade. Hey Ethel - you out there?
folk the wars!
I think in some ways, the
I think in some ways, the internet vastly undermines authority in a teen's life. It is a place where their whims are catered to so much so that they do not believe in the boundaries guardians/parents set for them. Without realistic responses to their behavior or their attitudes, mostly because the people who are responding to them are teens themselves or advertisers who want to take advantage, they become a bit ego maniacal and aggressive a lá Lord of the Flies.
Parents lack the know how of the internet and the time to learn about it. Kids know how to program computers and edit videos largely before any adult is aware of their abilities.