I relate to your blog, Grace. And I have chosen to sit
things out for a bit to get perspective. But I know myself
well enough to know that I prefer monagamy. I just cannot
shut my heart off. If I share that intimate part of me with
someone, it's a profound investment. Not that early in a
relationship it's all that, but there's the magical mystery
tour going on then. What I'm talking about is what proceeds
past that initial thing and both people agree that what's
happening is a good thing, and agree to proceed. whether you make an actual committment at that time or not, that's
really when you make sublime committment. When trust begins
to build within the relationship on it's own merit. What
do you think, is it social learning or is it nature. I
would probably be able to debate both ways. But then I'm a
Libra and the only thing more important to me than sitting
on a fence (you know the one of indecision) is fairness and
balance. I'd fight to the death for that for any one that
has no voice themselves, or just needs a helping hand.

By the way, I enjoyed the video about defining happiness.
I have meditated since I was a teen, but I have to admit
that for the last 5-6 years, I couldn't find center if it
had a flourescent bullseye on it.

Another thing I wanted to add, personal space is so needed
within a relationship, without it, I choke out. I agree
with things that Longbeach,Tex,Taiowa and Rovermom talked
about. I guess that's why I love being part of the Humor
thread, it feels like home with a group of best friends.

love & peace, Kathy

Why does everyone equate being single with being a failure in love? Not everyone is meant to settle down and get married. If you can't be happy by yourself, then you will certainly never be happy with anyone else. When did being a strong single autonomous woman become a fault?

love and commitment should never be in the same sentence...i just want a woman 2 commit too, but not fall in love with, maybe...... i got that backwards. u can't ignore beautiful women Moon their EVERY where!!!! in da streets, work place, supermarket, ur dreams....damn don't do it....

"When we spent too many days together, I would get antsy and anxious and need to spend the next few nights alone."

thats exactly how i end up feeling at the end of the day after spending it with my girlfriend. its terrible bc shes such a great girl, && monogamous and loves relationships. shes just gotten too attached. ive even spoken to her about it. im such an affectionate person its just shes killing my vibe and honestly it sucks. i dont know how much of it i can take & we're not even a month into the relationship. mind you she didnt act like this before we got together. but i can only hope things change.

but on the lighter note moon, you cant give up women.
i tried.. they draw you in almost magnetically

Soooo.... you say you're giving up women... uh huh...

You say you're gonna, "sit quietly and not think about beautiful women, and how they smell… their silky hair, warm bodies, sweet taste..." That's poetic. But uhmmm..., Moon... first, you sitting quietly... okay, moments of reflection aside..., that statement just deserves another.., uh huh... And is a whole 'nuther blog.

Second, not thinking about beautiful women... or women..., period... You won't have to, Moon.
Pssst... they're everywhere!
You won't have to do squat (no pun intended).
So... I have bandages and antibacterial gunk for ya when you fall offa that thar wagon.

I don't know why you feel you lose yourself when it comes down to commitment. But I do know that one day, a woman will have you knowing you've found yourself and you'll like it like that.

I so hope everything works out for you ,stay strong .

Lately, for me, I'll be with someone I'm totally into and down to commit with, then one day I'll wake up feeling annoyed and smothered. I've been thinking it's just that I'm a terrible, terrible girlfriend.

Part of me is hoping that when I meet someone I do love, truly, that it won't end that way. But what if I'm just doomed?

Sometimes its sad to see how many women don't want to commit. Its not an obligation, its a choice. Its something that can complete you and make you feel even better. There is nothing wrong on being with someone and having your own space, actually, its the best way to be in a relationship. But the fact of having an amazing woman and give it up with her because you are too scared of a relationship SUCKS. I'm sorry but it happen to me. I was this awesome, great and amazing woman that was cheated on because my girlfriend was getting scared because we were getting serious.
Since then I've grown up a lot. I'm more independent and I was too afraid to love again. Now, we are back and at the beginning I was being too careful, now I trust her again and believe her that with this time apart she understood (her words, not mine) that she wanted to be with me forever. I don't wanna give up on love, rather give up on sex (and believe me, sex is a LOT for me.. im a LATIN for god's sake!) than give up on love.
It's scary sometimes, but its worth the shot.

You are so off that wagon, the next warm, sweet tasting, yummy smelling lady that walks your way, will have you spinning in miliseconds into a eurphoric oblivian!
What's this with an astrologer saying you live too much in your own universe, don't we all? live in our own universe that is not yours Grace. I hope she didn't pay for that session.
The major issue we have with commitment, is not that we like our own space or that we want to play the field (ok it is for some, but they really are a minority), it is that we feel 'forced' to commit. Who is forcing us? well, ourselves and just about everyone we know, The Universe (the bigger picture), we are beings of imitation, and just because everyone else is doing it we feel we have to, and then to top it off it's cyclical so it just keeps repeating itself. That is why most of us have a string of broken relationships behind us.
So, what to do? stop thinking about it... stop analysing it... become a man! That would probably fix it... unless of course that man you become happens to be gay. Or you could just sit back and enjoy the ride, remove all pressures and expectations, get youself into that universe of yours and do a spring clean, stop dwelling on the what ifs and the 'i could have' or 'i should have', just start afresh. You'll be back bright eyed and bushy tailed in the land of sex, women and rock and roll in no time.

I must just be a fuckin' ass. I want a girl who can and will committ. Not the day I meet her, or 2 weeks later, or 2 months later... but, after we've grown and learned, to not only love each other... but respect each other. If you respect your girl, all the rest is easy..... communicate. It's not that difficult. All the rest will fall into place.

I must say, it saddens me to see soooo many incredibly bright, beautiful, women on this site that have so many 'committment issues'..... holy shit.

It's all about love, trust, sharing, friendship, giving, exploring, growing, and respecting. It's interesting to see so many women, give so much of their passion to .....online debating about: politics, political correctness, social issues, love, relationships, labels, fisting, sex, "the community" and feminism....... But, they don't know how to give 100% of themselves to another person, without insurmountable fear.

I love, being in love. Does that make me a fucking asshole in our "community", I certainly hope not...

Nothing else matters, if we can't share ourselves.....openly and honestly, gently and passionately and with a sense of purpose.

I was born to love, born to share, born to give. If that scares you. Well, that's why you're not my lover........

*check the baggage at the door, and open your heart*

... but then again...I'm not the kind to be comfortably with just kickin it.

~~~~I would get antsy and anxious and need to spend the next few nights alone.~~~~~

I so get like this.

At first I thought something was wrong with me because I knew I liked the women I was with but would get irked and cranky cause she was all in my space. Then I'd need a few days and I'd be fine.

I see now there was nothing wrong it's just the way I am. I can not stand a women completely in my space, as many women like to be, ALL of the time. You could call it that masculine side of me...saying I've heard a lot of men are like this.

Either way, I'm ok with now.