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The Rachel Maddow Exception Clause
October 30, 2008 - 8:00am — Julia Watson
Recently, my honey and I got into a minor tiff over another woman. The woman in question? One Rachel Maddow. I just can’t help myself. It’s the jeans and t-shirts when she’s photographed off-air, and the clunky, nerdy glasses. It’s the joy she takes in debating the impish and bellicose likes of Pat Buchanan. It’s how her eyes get all twinkly and mischievous when she’s making with the snark, and the plaintive way she keeps asking people, only half-kiddingly, to “talk her down” when she freaks out about the scary state of things in our world.
In short, Rachel Maddow is brainy, butch and beautiful, and I totally want to have her babies. Never mind that she is practically married and I, happily girlfriended. Never mind that we have next to nothing in common. (I hate talking about politics and she doesn’t own a TV.) It doesn’t matter! My crush lives on, in all of its marvelous, silly glory. Hell, even my straight girl best friend has a crush on Rachel Maddow. We play fight over who gets to marry her.
But my girlfriend? She’s got a bit of a jealous streak. I mean, the girl’s a Leo with moon in Scorpio for cryin’ out loud. I get it. So there was only so much of me prattling on, moon-eyed, about another woman that she could take. And there came a point where the green-eyed monster raised its bumpy little head.
“Enough already about freaking Rachel Maddow!” said my lady love one night. My initial reaction was chagrin, but then my brain began to spin out femme logic like wispy spun sugar winding round and round one of those cotton candy paper cones. A light came on, and my chagrin gave way to feisty indignation.
Wait a minute, I reasoned. As a butch woman who digs femme women, my honey has enjoyed all her life the privilege of living in a culture where the kind of women she’s into are splashed everywhere in the media: movies, TV, books, ads, magazines... you name it! Beautiful, feminine women are all over the place! Meanwhile, when it comes to media representation, those of us who lust after butch women have long had to scrounge around for quasi-butch scraps! Let’s face it. Since The Facts of Life went off the air a kajillion years ago, taking with it the delectable Jo and her trusty motorcycle, frankly, the Boob Tube butch well has run dry!
So my response to my beloved? “There is finally, at long last, a recognizable and self-proclaimed butch dyke on TV five nights a week, and I am TOTALLY allowed to crush out on her. Dammit!”
My honey, gracious butch that she is, couldn’t (or, possibly, wouldn’t) argue with that. I’m still not sure if she was genuinely bowing to my logic, or just picking her battles. But at any rate, I am now enjoying my crush relatively guilt-free.
But what if my long-deprived, butch-lusting-after femme logic isn’t even needed here? What if I just embrace the idea that, even though I’m in a committed, monogamous relationship, it’s okay if other folks occasionally meander into my fantasy life? What if that’s just part of having a healthy attitude toward the nature of desire? I’m coming to believe that it is. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, and the idea of putting limitations on my imagination is abhorrent to me. My imagination happens to be hardwired to my nerve endings. What’s a girl to do?
What about you? When you’re in a relationship, do you deny yourself fantasies about other folks, or is the racier side of your brain an all-you-can eat schmorgasbord of whatever (and whoever) strikes your fancy at any given moment? Does it make a difference to you and your sense of monogamy and morality whether you are nursing a schoolgirl crush on someone you know in real life or a celebrity with whom you will probably never cross paths? Do you and your girlfriend have those jokey lists of five celebrities you’d be allowed to have sex with if the opportunity ever came up? (And, if so, who’s on yours? Share with the class!) How do you feel about the person you love occasionally fantasizing about someone else?
And, perhaps most importantly, how freaking adorable is Rachel Maddow?
- Julia Watson's blog
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61 Comments
An unrequited fantasy can be the most powerful aphrodisiac.
It is the unattainability of our butch brainy funny adorable compassionate activist Rachel that makes her so irresistible. She seems perfect yet she is human. The real Rachel off the air will never be the "off the air" TV Rachel we imagine her to be...or is she?????
Rachel Maddow does it for me
Rachel Maddow does it for me too. I think it's perfectly OK to lust after women that you'll never meet and have no intention of pursuing. But honestly, if I did meet her....I would say ahem.... hello. *wink,wink*
http://steadycat.wordpress.com/
its all about boundaries b/w u two
we joke that because my gf is spanish italian no matter who, she is jealous lol. and im australian so the most chilled vs the high strung lol but we both totally have fantasies about other people especially famous people. i think it is part of our evolution to want to get down and dirty with other people. every r/ship has their thresholds. i think that fantasising about people is ok and healthy especially people u dont know or know u'll never get but there are always boundaries that shoulnt be crossed.
i don't have a gf
but i would totally want a list of celebrity exceptions.
My girlfriend just rolls her
My girlfriend just rolls her eyes whenever Sarah Shahi or Kristen Wiig are on TV.
I can't contain my crushes and she has come to accept them. She doesn't get jealous though because she knows she's the only girl for me.
i think i'm lucky enough
i think i'm lucky enough that my gf and i have fairly similar girl crushes. i think its safe to say rachel maddow being the more recent one
Sunday Night with Rachel!!
We get a extra show this week!! I love her, just love her!! She is highly, highly intelligent (which I find super sexy), but she still has segments like, Polling Doohicky...I love her humor!! I think she needs a live audience or atleast an old fashioned laugh track. She has the most informative and entertaining show on TV. Yes she is gay, yes she is liberal, but she doesn't shove it down your throat. It's all matter of fact...I love her, just love her!!
"all-you-can eat
"all-you-can eat schmorgasbord of whatever"
I've been laughing my ass of for the past 15 minutes now.
"Schmorgasbord" - It's just fabulous! Great, excelent and over the top hilarious! I've been saying it out loud and everything, laughing even more.
It's "Smörgåsbord"
I'll upload a voicemessage on how to pronouce it or something ;D
Just lovely, it made my day!
Crushes
Some of mine are: Mia Kirshner, Lena Headey, Asia Argento, Shannyn Sossamon, Juliette Binoche, Isabella Brewster, Lumi Cavazos, Maria de Medeiros, Janeane Garofalo, Lauren Vélez
Yes!
Juliette Binoche, I Totally agree.
Oh my, that woman is fabulous!
She is!
I fell for her after seeing The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and Trois Couleurs: Bleu sealed the deal.
you cracked me up
"I hate talking about politics and she doesn’t own a TV."
Actually
Maddow just bought a TV so that her honey could watch her show. If she do it for Susan, maybe she'd do it for Wats!
The clothes thing
I thought it was funny after the Obama interview when she told Kent Jones that Obama complimented her on her pants.
Your friend,
Rusty
Happy Halloween!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“People deserve the government they get, and they deserve to get it good and hard.” ~ H.L. Mencken
same old question..
where does being untrue start? in your head? crushing on celebrities? crushing on your colleague? imagining fucking hillary swanks while bumping your gf? Flirting with your colleague?
Its natural to react jealous on crushes of your gf, but its natural too for your gf not to act on her crushes and to be polite enough not to gush about them all day and night :)
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." Oscar Wilde
Crushes Are Great!
Weren't we just talking about this Monday night? And I told you about that episode of "Friends" with the list of people it was okay to sleep with? FYI, Isabella Rossellini would totally be on my list too. That woman is FINE at any age!
Anyhow, I think it's pretty normal to develop crushes on celebrities who you figure you're never really going to meet. I have some and if I was in a relationship I'd expect my girlfriend to have some too.
I'm not crushing on Rachel Maddow like the rest of you here on this site, but from the clips I've seen she's smart and smart is sexy. Funny is also sexy. The only thing sexier is smart AND funny. In fact a couple of my co-workers told me they thought they knew my 'type' and I told them my type was smart and funny, the rest is irrelevant. Well, unless of course you're Isabella Rossellini then sexy is just plain sexy.
My list would include Gillian Anderson, Leisha Hailey and (as I've referred to before on this site) Kim Dickens. Oh, and 30 years later I'm still crushing on Lindsay Wagner. 40+ years later I still think Diana Rigg as Emma Peel was the hottest woman ever on TV. DAMN! Oh, her daughter's pretty hot too.
she has some and so do I
I think "celebrity crushes" are fun and totally harmless. It's not like you are going to be hitting the bar and hanging out with Rachel, Lindsay or Gillian any time soon. Perhaps excessive talking about the crush may not be such a good idea in front of your sweetie. That's what friends are for!
p.s. I've loved Rachel for a long time and getting to see her on TV is even better than her early Air America days.
p.p.s Carrie Brownstein is my current celeb crush!
It all began with JO!
on The Facts of Life - I can remember, as a girl having 'funny feelings' everytime she strutted into that kitchen in her leather jacket ...
Then there was Kristy McNichol (who was a bit before my time) - but I discovered her on re-runs in the 80's!
I was a bit obsessed with Kim Stolz from ANTM for a while there, but since she changed look - not so much.
Kate (goes without saying) ...
Now Rachel Maddow is my number one girlcrush! ... A great mind ... *sighs*
OMG I'm obsessed with her too!
LOVE HERRRRR! <3
Gracious genuine bowing all around
Sigh... yes, i suppose that if you can put up with me drooling over Megan Fox on last month's GQ cover, then I can deal with you babbling over how stimulating you find the Maddow watching. Having her babies may be taking it a bit far. After all, its just a fantasy....it is just fantasy, right? And what's this about a list of people it's ok to hump? I don't recall agreeing to any list of humpables.
Anyways, no suppression of imagination/fantasy allowed in this relationship. So you go on and crush out to your pervy little mind's content. If it gets out of hand, well...I'll just have to punish you ;)
Hey!
I want some of those crushes on me! I'm smart, cute, funny, and as butch as Maddow is! My BA in Journalism is not quite as commendable as being a Rhodes Scholar. I get that. But, I have some pretty cool lines on my resume.
....and some pretty cool tunes in your playlists!
Nothing but love
Tex
How quickly you forget :(
http://www.ourchart.com/content/kelly-picks-a-fight?page=3#comment-39437...
:( Taem?
Alright then.
I'll shut up about it.
Runnin' away again?
LOL
;) Taem?
Maybe you have some and
Maybe you have some and don't even know it.
TV crushes...
I won't tell you my first TV crush, but I have had a lot of them. Crushes can make your sex life a lot better. My partner and I both had crushes on movie and tv stars without jealousy. It is great! Have your crush on Maddow and increase your performance!
Mmm
We have our list of celebs that, if given a chance, we have let the other sleep with. The top of my list is Amanda Palmer. My partner likes Rachael Ray.
yes,
I bow before Rachel's looks, brains, and humor. I adore her.
I'm a femme who loves femmes
too...but Rachel is hot and has a degree from Oxford...do what you will with me ms Maddow...just do me.
"and now I'd like to entertain you all with some fancy pageant walking"
Smart and Funny - Melt....
I normally go for the femme type myself, but I would butter Rachel's toast and be her lap dog if she would let me.
And I think the fantasy stuff is just fine when you are in a committed relationship, but it is probably best to keep it to yourself. Too much information can be a bad thing at times and woman can tend to share too much for their own good.
amen!
amen!
officially hot for Rachel
Julia,
I was instantly disappointed upon opening your blog and discovering that there was no video clip of Rachel to enjoy. Though I have caved and purchased a TV for my home, we don't have cable, and thus I am limited to clips on OurChart.
I guess the fact that I was ravenous to get my Rachel Maddow fix today (or perhaps that I gushed yesterday to my straight labmates how hot she is while watching a clip) indicates that I too have a crush.
As for fantasy, milk it!
~paz y amor siempre
iTunes!
Maddow is now available via podcast on iTunes in video!
Dear God
Now I have to get cable AND an iPod?!
~paz y amor siempre
No no!
Just iTunes on your computer.
Well, then!
Allow me to hook a girl up!
Muchisimas gracias!
Oh my goodness, ten whole minutes - yum.
~paz y amor siempre
Not just femmes
I have it for Rachel Maddow, too, and I'm a hundred-footer. It doesn't matter whether she's in her made-up TV self or in those clunky glasses, a smart, no-nonsense and no apologies sassy dyke dishing it out gets me going. Seriously, she's the only celeb I've ever had a sexual dream about...talk about cranking the fantasy up a notch.
Lezbeth
oh and by the way; I miss Jo
oh and by the way; I miss Jo too. She was my first ever girlcrush. :) I'm sure I'm not alone!
She wasn't quite my first, but...
You are so not alone!
I fell for the girl thats on tv...
My ex banned me from watching America's Next Top Model in our apartment. She thought I had a crush on Tyra Banks. Actually, I just wanted to be Tyra's best friend so she could introduce me to the cute lesbian models. I think it's natural for some jealousy. But come on, she's on television. Your not inviting her back to your bedroom.
As for crushing on Rachel Maddow, I watch her with my favorite bartender. We refer to her as "our girlfriend." As my bartender proudly declares, "I don't know what I want to have sex with more - her body or her brain!" I concur.
Concurrence all around!
I refer to my straight best friend as my wife, and my girlfriend as my girlfriend. So I guess that makes Rachel Maddow "my other girlfriend."
What am I?
What am I?
In my best John Wayne
Watch yerself, pardner.
Shh!
My dirty little secret.
the green returns
ok. enough cuckolding me already.
Mum's the word!
Your secret is safe with me... I mean, your secret me is safe... um, you are secretly safe with me... whatever.
Forever yours,
McMunchy
i have so many celebrity
i have so many celebrity crushes, i'm like a 15 year old in a 34 year old's body. Rachel is definitely on the list; how could she NOT be? Cute, brainy, funny... she's got it all. But of course she has to share my 'affection-from-afar' with Leisha Hailey, Clea DuVall, Winona Ryder, Catherine Keener, Maura Tierney, Mary Louise Parker, and a whole big pile of other awesome women :)
(all that said, I am single, so I guess I'm not bothering anyone with all of this)
Fantasies.......
are extremely healthy.....I really don't think I can stop that side of my brain....It can spice up the boudoir!!
Any spicing in the boudoir, on the phone, in a car...or wherever is a very good thing!!!! ;)
BUBBA LOVE
LAKE
"Love is you mirrored in another person." KD