Hi kids. Last week's lesson was all about the evil doers in Congress who are stunting our collective growth toward a happier planet. I'd like to follow that up with some information on Big Oil companies and other such meanies who are also raining on our parade.

You know how all the oil companies are running commercials these days about the good work they are doing on alternative fuels and blah blah blah? Pure bunk. Well, at least 93% bunk. For instance, BP has allegedly promised to spend $8 billion on "alternative energy" by 2015. However, during the 2006-2008 period, they only coughed up $1.5 billion for wind and solar attempts. That's half of what was allotted. The other half went toward working on petroleum-based synthetic gas. Talk about beating a dead horse! Not only that, according to Mother Jones, “in 2006 alone, BP's capital expenditures on oil and gas exploration, production, refining and marketing came to $16.2 billion; its revenues were $274 billion, and its profits $22 billion.” Whoa, Nelly! So much for that whole “Beyond Petroleum” thing they've been touting.

These guys are using the PR machine to their advantage in a big, bad way. They do a minimal amount of alternative research in order to get the maximum amount of good will from consumers, then it's back to more of the same. According to a report from the Center for American Progress, despite average profits of $230,000 a minute in 2007, Big Oil companies are only spending a tiny sliver of their total profits (about .5%) on developing renewable fuels. It seems BP and Shell are the good guys, topping the list at 1.2%, while ExxonMobil hit bottom with a big goose egg.

Another thing they're doing is moving the goal post in terms of what is considered clean energy. Back to Mother Jones, “In a 2006 report, the oil-industry-friendly Institute for Energy Research said that U.S. oil and gas companies had invested $98 billion in 'emerging energy technologies'... But the vast majority of this funding went to develop 'frontier hydrocarbons' — new, often filthy methods of producing more oil and gas.” Liars. Can we call shenanigans on them?

Since I mentioned Shell, let's take a look-see, shall we? These guys are serious Earth haters. They've only thrown about $1 billion at alternative options including solar, wind and hydrogen fuel cell technologies. Instead, they've been focused on pillaging Canada's tar sands to shore up their production numbers. They are having to stir up that controversy because they once made a deal with the devil. See, Shell spent some 10 years and $22 billion building Sakhalin-2, a massive gas and oil project on the eastern outskirts of Russia. Problem is, Vladimir Putin came in, took the project away and handed it over to the state energy company, Gazprom, even demanding that Shell pay a fairly hefty dividend in order to retain some bit of a financial stake in the project. Oh, Puty Put.

Then there are companies including Americans for Balanced Energy Choices, ConocoPhillips, BP, Chevron and GE pushing this whole “clean coal” BS on us. Talk about a load of hooey! The particulate levels may be lower than burning coal, but the gasification plants produce more CO2 than natural gas plants. It's dangerous, expensive, irresponsible and just plain wasteful. And at profits of $230,000 a minute, it's also outright insulting.