Asking you how much debt you expect in your life is kind of like asking you to pinpoint your ideal amount of sex. According to one online poll, more than once a day is too much sex for over 50% of the general populace, while 37% "can never get enough!" For those of you wondering how many partners and one-night stands the average lesbian goes through in a lifetime, there appears to be some contention in the numbers. Feel free to post links to other studies that may trump these numbers.

But what does that really say? For those who would ideally have sex once a day or three times a week, we're not talking about a different woman every night... or maybe we are. What kind of sex? With restraint in the name of safety, or do we mean no-holds-barred, the whole shebang (pun definitely intended)? With a wifey, a one-night stand or a friend with benefits?

Debt, like sex, means different things in different circumstances. Debt can be structured for short-term repayment ("Short Term Loans In As Little As One Hour, Bad Credit OK! No Faxing") or long-term. Debt can be used to build a future or for daily consumption. Some debt is backed up by something of real value (collateral) and some debt is unsecured. Some debt eases you in with initial discounts and then six months later adjusts its terms to something outrageous that you can't afford. This latter circumstance, most common in the form of Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARMs), is primarily responsible for triggering the liquidity crisis that threatens the economy today. (Insert liquidity joke here.)

In case you think I am taking this analogy too far, there's a woman named Jennifer S. Wilkov who has written an entire book on the principal of romancing one's finances (Dating Your Money). This author also happens to have confessed recently to stealing over $1 million from investors in bogus real estate deals, so maybe you'll keep reading my version before clicking over to Amazon.

Jokes aside for a moment, now that the real estate bubble has popped and easy credit has disappeared, many Americans are caught in a difficult situation with debt. I say "Americans" not out of patriotism or myopic disregard for international readers, but because this is specifically an American dilemma. The U.S. personal savings rate has been less than 1%, and even negative, for the past two years. This means that if you spent more than you earned last year, you managed your money about as well as most people in this country. The federal government has operated at a deficit, as
well, since Bush took over from Clinton's surplus. At the macroeconomic level, such debt is not sustainable. Treasury debt and the current account deficit (import-export trade gap) add to downward pressure on the dollar, as excessive debt makes U.S. currency less attractive to foreign bondholders.

Putting this into the terms we started with, does this make the United States of America a land of debt promiscuity? Are we credit sluts? Before you cry mea culpa and cut up your Mastercard, take some time to evaluate your relationship with debt. There are almost as many online resources for debt management as there are for sexuality. You can find step-by-step strategies for improving your credit score and find tools for calculating how much credit you can afford.

But if debt-to-income calculators and credit improvement tips were all it took to manage debt, the average American would not have a zero savings rate. Keep in mind, what you achieve with debt is just as important as how much debt you take on and the terms of repayment. Some assets are appreciating, which means they rise in value, and some assets are depreciating (declining). If you use debt to purchase a depreciating asset, you are paying an increasing amount for something that decreases in value. An automobile, for example, depreciates in value significantly as soon as it's driven off the dealer's lot.

Personally, I like to think of my purchases and debts as assets and liabilities, the way a small business would. When I bought my laptop, for example, I thought of it as an asset that would increase my productivity. Likewise, when I receive a second paycheck for only part of the year (I teach as an Adjunct Assistant Professor at Columbia), I use credit cards at other times to modulate my cash flow. But that's just me. If I were to compare my debt life to the sex life of a character from The L Word, I would probably be a Bette. Moderate, long-term oriented and, occasionally, entirely out of control. I keep the latter tendency in check by allocating a generous portion of my income to an investment fund that I can't touch. When it comes to debt, knowing your weaknesses may be as important as knowing your goals.