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I Slept with Dinah Shore
April 2, 2008 - 7:31am — Sabrina Artel
Just kidding. You all know by now that I wouldn’t kiss and tell, but I am enviously thinking of the week’s revels happening in Palm Springs under that vast desert sky.
I nearly lost my life on Interstate 10 outside of Palm Springs, and I think of that location where everything could have ended or shifted for me. We don’t know where or how our lives will be transformed and that crash on the freeway that night remains an experience that has forever changed me. Why did my girlfriend and I remain safe even though we plowed through a highway sign at 70 miles an hour, which cracked the windshield minutely missing my head, then through a wire fence before twisting around in mid-air missing the cars sharing the road with us?
As I was rocketing through the air towards the feeder road, an old man behind the wheel of a Lincoln was moving towards my hurtling K-Car and just missed the impact, unbeknownst to him. I imagine him thinking of getting home to his family or listening to his favorite ballad on the radio, not knowing that he nearly had a life-altering accident. That fence cradled my car allowing the three of us to make it home for dinner.
It’s amazing to think of the things that are happening in our lives: the close calls, the near loves, the mistakes and the dreams that we’re oblivious to. It’s startling to realize how much more is happening and, then again, how much less than we realize. It’s odd how it’s in the balance between things, that middle ground, that liminal space where the messages appear. Time is oddly like that too. The more that I grab the boundaries of it, the memory and the future of it, I lose the essence of the moment; and my life seems so short and cramped and rushed. The magic appears in the release of time so I can just be here in its expanse.
As the car sailed through the night sky, my life somehow jumped up and did the same. As the suspension of the tires lifted skyward, something in me mimicked that bucking Dodge and gathered inside myself for the unknown. Amazingly, after my deep-throated scream, a rooted calm took over me and I did see that scrolling lifetime movie. That’s when my grandmother Oma appeared. I saw her pointing finger, her fierce love talking to that mysterious realm. I saw her shake her head and remind me that I was not dying on that night. I remember feeling her fierce five-feet-tall body holding me safe, her knowingness seeping into me, and her sturdy K-Car that I had inherited when she died becoming a safety zone as all hell broke loose around it. Amazingly as my friend and I opened our eyes when the car finally stopped moving, she asked me what Oma had looked like and if she had teasingly shaken her index finger as a way to punctuate a point?
Well, you see, perhaps she is always watching, and perhaps these elders in our life are more important than this society of ours claims. What if we valued the elderly even when they can’t walk, even when they lose their speech, even when it’s no longer convenient for this consumer, disposable culture of ours to consume the relationship? What if we put our ear to their lips and gazed into each other’s eyes more often? I don’t know. Perhaps I’d free myself from my own fear of aging, my own definitions of success and failure, and that destructive belief that youth is the part of our life that is the most valuable.
Mimi Weddell.
While you’re enjoying the physical manifestations of youth in Palm Springs, check out an amazingly gorgeous and inspiring 93-year-old, Mimi Weddell. I spoke to Mimi last week in NYC and walked away feeling that anything is possible in life with the right attitude. Mimi was named at age 90 by New York magazine as one of the “50 Most Beautiful People in New York.” The documentary film about her life opened in NYC last week and will begin an exclusive engagement in Palm Springs on April 4. Please check out the website at www.hatsoffthemovie.com, and please let me know if someone is watching you…
I nearly lost my life on Interstate 10 outside of Palm Springs, and I think of that location where everything could have ended or shifted for me. We don’t know where or how our lives will be transformed and that crash on the freeway that night remains an experience that has forever changed me. Why did my girlfriend and I remain safe even though we plowed through a highway sign at 70 miles an hour, which cracked the windshield minutely missing my head, then through a wire fence before twisting around in mid-air missing the cars sharing the road with us?
As I was rocketing through the air towards the feeder road, an old man behind the wheel of a Lincoln was moving towards my hurtling K-Car and just missed the impact, unbeknownst to him. I imagine him thinking of getting home to his family or listening to his favorite ballad on the radio, not knowing that he nearly had a life-altering accident. That fence cradled my car allowing the three of us to make it home for dinner.
It’s amazing to think of the things that are happening in our lives: the close calls, the near loves, the mistakes and the dreams that we’re oblivious to. It’s startling to realize how much more is happening and, then again, how much less than we realize. It’s odd how it’s in the balance between things, that middle ground, that liminal space where the messages appear. Time is oddly like that too. The more that I grab the boundaries of it, the memory and the future of it, I lose the essence of the moment; and my life seems so short and cramped and rushed. The magic appears in the release of time so I can just be here in its expanse.
As the car sailed through the night sky, my life somehow jumped up and did the same. As the suspension of the tires lifted skyward, something in me mimicked that bucking Dodge and gathered inside myself for the unknown. Amazingly, after my deep-throated scream, a rooted calm took over me and I did see that scrolling lifetime movie. That’s when my grandmother Oma appeared. I saw her pointing finger, her fierce love talking to that mysterious realm. I saw her shake her head and remind me that I was not dying on that night. I remember feeling her fierce five-feet-tall body holding me safe, her knowingness seeping into me, and her sturdy K-Car that I had inherited when she died becoming a safety zone as all hell broke loose around it. Amazingly as my friend and I opened our eyes when the car finally stopped moving, she asked me what Oma had looked like and if she had teasingly shaken her index finger as a way to punctuate a point?
Well, you see, perhaps she is always watching, and perhaps these elders in our life are more important than this society of ours claims. What if we valued the elderly even when they can’t walk, even when they lose their speech, even when it’s no longer convenient for this consumer, disposable culture of ours to consume the relationship? What if we put our ear to their lips and gazed into each other’s eyes more often? I don’t know. Perhaps I’d free myself from my own fear of aging, my own definitions of success and failure, and that destructive belief that youth is the part of our life that is the most valuable.
Mimi Weddell.
While you’re enjoying the physical manifestations of youth in Palm Springs, check out an amazingly gorgeous and inspiring 93-year-old, Mimi Weddell. I spoke to Mimi last week in NYC and walked away feeling that anything is possible in life with the right attitude. Mimi was named at age 90 by New York magazine as one of the “50 Most Beautiful People in New York.” The documentary film about her life opened in NYC last week and will begin an exclusive engagement in Palm Springs on April 4. Please check out the website at www.hatsoffthemovie.com, and please let me know if someone is watching you…
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40 Comments
wow......
Mimi is 93???? she looks younger....i can see the beauty on her....in my place rare to see someone beyond 90 still able to walk..iam sure she has a lot of bittersweet in her life...thats make her looks so strong..!!
talking about almost hurt, just yesterday it was heavy rain...with wind...me n my friend was stand under the tree waiting for a taxi...in a minute after we got in to the taxi the tree was fallin down right to the place where we stand.........me n my friend look each other and take very deep breath together.......that was close....
ps : love ur blog sabrina...! i wish u have fun at dinah..
Still Dancing...
You're right, when Mimi's husband died she was left with lots of bills and very little money. When we spoke she said, "Rise above it!"
Whew, so many close calls...
youth schmouth
I feel as a young woman in a big city I don't get enough time to spend with the older generations. Mimi sounds more lighthearted and fun than many young adults I know. Maybe life is just a fairy tale? I hope to see Hat's Off very soon.
Wow Can You Stir Up a Visual...I can see you on radio!!!
The line that hit me the most was ...
"It’s amazing to think of the things that are happening in our lives: the close calls, the near loves, the mistakes and the dreams that we’re oblivious to."
I guess because I spent some time yesterday with an artist friend that I am just getting to know, and we spent hours together talking about our lives and experiences, bringing up memories of things long forgotten, relationships and missed moments, and the sheer oblivion in which I lived years ago.
You are truly a talented story teller...I'm glad you survived to continue writing and speaking...my grandmother had that finger pointing thing too...I could see it as I read...all arthridic, knuckle bulging one way tip of the finger the other...I miss her so much.
Grandmothers...
I lived with mine growing up. I used to proudly say that I had "two mommies". Thanks!
Hello Friend!
Hey Sabrina... we've finally hooked up on the internet. This is my first blog posting to "Our Chart" and I'm happy to be here. Sabrina invited me! We knew each other in Manhattan and now we're both transplanted city women upstate to Liberty, NY.
Sabrina... read your posting on the Iraq war and I couldn't agree more. I know a third tour Marine who was just re-deployed to Iraq. It's a shame I can't tell everyone who he/she is and how I know him/her but big brother reads everything and believe me, EVERYTHING is investigated and his/her security clearance could be at risk. Amazing and disgusting isn't it. So much for free speech.
He/she has told me that when he/she was first deployed to Iraq, there was a worthwhile reason for being there. Women especially were being publically stoned in the streets and the American troops did intervene.
However, as the years have passed, he/she - who is actually THERE - now believes that is was is ridiculous. There is no reason for the United States to be there except for the Almighty Agenda of Adolph Bush and the worship and coveting of crude oil.
$$$$ = how many lives? Bush doesn't care, but we should. What candidate would be help this situation. I don't trust Obama (sorry Obama supporters), I really believe he has a hidden agenda. Hillary??? Who knows. She wants to pull the troops out TOO fast. Sounds good in theory but puts those troops left as sitting ducks. McCain??? Bush Jr maybe. But he is into the enviroment. Many feminists that I've spoken with say that if Hillary is not the democratic nominee, they're going to cross party lines and vote for McCain.
I guess the lesser of all evils!
Thanks Sabrina for introducing me to ourchart and inviting me to join.
Hello everybody! Please read my profile and you'll probably see that I'm ACTUALLY a fun person.
Good Luck with Trailer Talk! Hell... I've even been interviewed on Sabrina's radio program!
Best Witches,
Paula
McCain no!!!
First of all it's great hearing from you but McCain makes Bush look like a pacifist or as some are saying like Gandhi. Imagine that? His stance on anything whether it's the environment, military spending, foreign relations, gay rights, a women's right to choose are to the extreme right and extremely destructive. So I beg you dear Paula to reconsider your stance and talk to those friends of yours.
xx
McCain and Obama
Hey Sabrina,
Trust me. I NO McCain supporter. BUT... I was watching Glenn Beck on CNN today and saw some very frightening footage about Obama.
Two independent videotapes were shown of two pastors of Senator Obama's. These pastors HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY OBAMA - to be SPIRITUAL ADVISORS to his PRESIDENCY!!!
This is extremely scary. One minister (I'll get the exact name later) - on his own videotape and in his own words - has horrendous things to say about black politicians in office (I guess this is pre-Obama) - calling these black politicians "house n***gers. And, this is the scary one... says that Gay People are a blight on this country. He (the minister) is quoted as saying that is is the "Jews in Hollywood" that allowed movies like Brokeback Mountain" to contaminate this country and the world.
Ok... so you might say... it's the individual minister's opinion... but... these ministers have been recently HAND PICKED by OBAMA to be his official spiritual advisors in the White House!
And, as Glenn Beck said, "these are the advisors we know about"... "what about the advisors who are never publically quoted and we don't know about."
Sorry... I hate McCain.. but if it's between McCain and Obama - McCain's got my vote.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - GOOOOOO HILLARY!!!!!!!!!
life altering moments
I remember one time when I just turned 18 in 2003. I had just bought my very first vehicle...a 2003 Rav4...Probably the coolest vehicle ever. I was driving to school and had only had my wheels for a month to the date...when all of a sudden I was sliding on loose gravel...towards a bridge. I ended up rolling my new Rav4 on the bridge...thinking..."OMFG I am going to die today...and my mom is going to kill me when she see's my suv!" LMAO. Oh yeah...and "Damn Tennille is going to be waiting for me...I was supposed to take her to lunch." LMAO...yes...the stupid mundane things that went through my head while I was being tossed around held back by my seat belt. So after the trauma of the accident subsided and the shock took over...I was a wreck and then to top it all off I was hooked into a spine board for 4 hours after that. FUN! So to make this about elders...my grandfather was second...next to my mom to visit me at the hospital. Great life altering events...just make your world turn over in the most unexpected ways...so even though it traumatised me from driving ever again...It was something to always remember.
Getting back on that horse...
I think it's in that turn over as you say that so much is revealed. Check out Mimi in Hats Off, she's been through so much and she keeps rising above it.
Hats Off
I just saw that on here this morning..."Hats Off". I very much want to watch it! I think that old chick, Mimi, is awesome! I would think she would be freaking great in a horror movie! But definiately will give it a watch sometime.
Horror and...
I think she's done that too. Great hearing from you!
REALLY?
She's done a horror? do you know what it was called? I am so looking up her movie bio...I would love to see her in a horror.
Maybe it's on the website:
Maybe it's on the website: www.hatsoffthemovie.com. Good luck...!
Thanks!
I actually went to Imdb.com. She may not have a lot of films on her Filmography but I think it's cool that she started acting when she was like 65. Amazing...amazing! Thanks again!
pintos rawk
years ago, my pinto station wagon (with an unbelted me in it) was broadsided by a speeding muscle car in a busy los angeles intersection. that car was a tank and totally saved my life. the interior was dark olive and the exterior was white with wood paneling, which looked particularly hott with my blood splattered all over it.
it's amazing, the sh*t we live through.
MMM...a K Car!
WOW! I forgot about the K Car! Did EVERY mom/aunt/grandmother have one of these to pass along to their young lesbian relative when they died? I remember a fun night in the back seat of said vehicle model with a girl on Cape Cod many, many years ago now. I love your essays! Always insightful, with a bit o' fun! WRITE MORE FOR US, Sabrina! Also, that ol' Mimi lady is a hottie at 90-something. I'm gonna be a pile of ashes on someone's mantle/in the trunk of some car by then. Rock on, ol' Mimi-lady!
Back seat fun...MMM!
The ole K Car begs for stories I think. Just like the Pinto and the Firebird, perhaps the Nova too. I'm fine ending up as ashes in the back of a K Car but maybe Mimi's adage, "Rise Above It" will prevent that from happening any time soon. Rock on Mimi Weddell... THANKS!
How about a Vega?
The car I drove to my first Lesbian bar. My car memories are of all of the recall letters, "Dear Vega Owner, When your axle drops out DO NOT apply your brakes."
Lezbeth
To: Sabrina
I had one of those "wrecks" myself - mine was in a Pinto! You and I have been given extra time to continue our "travels." Here's hoping we both age as gracefully as Mimi.
Nothing but love
Tex
A Pinto...
Geesh, I always wanted one of those cute hatchbacks! Tex, you're the best. These spectacular flowers are imprinted on my brain so I can get through this still icy cold Catskills spring. Here's to many more travels!
Free coffee at K Mart
I knew a woman who had that moment, it's a different moment for all of us, when she was offered free coffee from the food vendor at K-Mart. (We didn't ask what the hell she was doing ordering food at K-Mart, but hey, it's the free coffee thing that's important.) She asked why free coffee? And the worker said, senior citizens get free coffee. Yowza.
Then there was my great aunt (never married, always lived next door to her best friend ;o) ) whose, 55 Buick I inherited. She had gone on an Alaskan cruise (about age 80). Her cabin-mate (a stranger) grumbled under her breath about being put in a cabin with an "old woman." Before then, Inez had never thought of herself as old.
It sounds like your experience in the K-Car put things into perspective, Sabrina, and that you've been able to hold on to that. Getting older is always better than the alternative. I love seeing people who age with dignity and a positive outlook.
The other thing your column made me think of (it's a loose association) is a recent movie I saw. It's called "Off the Map." I highly recommend it.
Lezbeth
Wow, did your great aunt
Wow, did your great aunt smother her? Did I just say that...
Like Grace says it's all about a state of mind!
I'll check out the movie, thanks.
elders.. live history
I work with the elderly. They have alot to say. Stop and take the time to listen. You might learn something.
true true!
That is so true! I totally agree...but some elderly can be bitter. For the most part they are very awesome! Maybe not even elderly but older people in general. Being 22...I have a lot of friends that are over 30...even over 40. They are all great people and have some very INTERESTING stories, and who doesn't love stories?
Always!
Always!
time is a K car
Hey Sabrina
You touched on some of my favorite obsessions- time, near misses, the road we travel in our lives to either become wiser-or not.
As we get older the person that we are becomes more visible on our faces -
I think it is particularly just. Note Mimi Weddell's face and then look at Dick Cheney's!
Great point!
Just for you I looked and you're right. Justice prevails! Time, time time...my favorite obsession too.
Talking to the elderly
I spend the greater part of my summers chatting with older people, and I love it. It happens randomly. It's the shrunken soul who can't reach high enough to get the nectarines at the fruit stand and who is so obviously charmed that I don't mind being late just to speak with her. Or the blind, brown and, possibly psychic man who sits on the floor and listens along to my favorite Saturday night guitarist on the corner of 4th and market. He makes humanity beautiful, pops up randomly in my life every 2 months or so for no more than 10 minutes and, always remembers my name.
Or the over-sized and gentle Avon lady who pesters my family--persist on calling me "lil' mama" and setting me up with the fine young black man of her acquaintance.
Or my immigrant grandmother--and the way she surprised me with her intuitive understanding of the chronic injustice committed to the powerless.
I can't get enough of knowing that they've seen all that I haven't.
We're family!
We're family!
is that
why you and i get along so well?
xo
That and,
my love of your incredibly distinctive hair.
Quite the noble mane!
Quite the noble mane!
Génial ! very nice thank
Génial ! very nice thank you for the discovering !I love this "designed by Coco Chanel herself !'
and this :
Here Mimi Weddell try to enter Incognito the ilene's desk to know what she prepares for season 6 ;-)
PS : I recommand the last books of Helene Cixous (whose grand ma was called Oma also ) and especially this one "Si prés",they are all turning around her relationship with her 93 years old mother, i ignore if thoses books have been translate into Englsh, but they are great (and much more easy to read than the one she wrote in the 70's!)
Yes, Cixous' writing on
Yes, Cixous' writing on language and sexuality is amazing. Her pieces on her Jewish identity, passing and invisibility relate to aspects of my life also. Helene Cixous and Ariane Mnouchkine are quite the amazing collaboration too! Thanks for the recommendations.
i'm happy you like her work
i'm happy you like her work !
Another recomendation for everybody : i you get the possibility, don't miss the representations of the "Théatre du Soleil" , the Mnouchkine's group, it have to be lived one time in one's life ! the Cartoucherie in Paris is an amazing place !
One of my favorite book of Cixous, beside the last ones, is "La Fiancée Juive
-de la tentation-"
("The jewish fiancée (easy to translate ;-)
of/about the temptation" (less easy because of the two meanings lying in only one word))
I think Cixous's writing has changed those past years and with the time something becomes so beautifull, that it would be a pity people stay on her 70's reputation of un-understandable and theoretical writter !
Oh, geez...
...pulling at my heart strings this afternoon!!! I needed this blog - such a wonderful respite. Thanks to Grace also for the bit of wisdom - my brain is still 21!!!
Great title - pulled me right in - not a disappointment once I got here either! If you don't mind, I'm going to gain my composure and get back to this one later! There are bluebonnets calling me!
Going to be a beautiful day!
Nothing but love
Tex
I was told by
a stranger in a noodle restaurant, that the way to stay young is to never let your brain match your age.
State of Mind and
State of Grace, Grace.
xx
Older woman
An older woman once told me: "The majority of wrinkles are created by stagnation. The truly startling ones are created by wisdom".
"If you keep moving" she said " you can only possibly get wise."