It’s not every day I get to share a jacuzzi with another fashion designer-to-the-queers. Hell, it’s not even every lifetime that I get to have a stimulating, inspiring conversation with another person who is taking a stab at creating aesthetic and lifestyle for the hip homo set — through a subversive line of clothing.

So, imagine my delight when I met a kindred spirit at Dinah Shore: the blinged-out, banana-wearing, graffiti-tagging, old school lovin’ fashion designer/surfer Vanessa Craig. Some of you may recall seeing Vanessa, aka XKILLER, on LOGO’s series Curl Girls about surfing lesbians. What you may or may not know is how talented and serious XKILLER is about her passion for fashion and design.


In the spirit of Interview Magazine and their departing lesbo editor-in-chief, Ingrid Sischy, I thought it would be great fun for me to have a designer-to-designer interview with Vanessa — and get deep, deeper than deep lez, about some pressing fashionista issues.

I just finished reading an article about you in Velvetpark Magazine. I have to be honest, it totally had me feeling this weird, hot, heightened excitement and sense I can only describe as being an alien who meets a kindred spirit.
I know, right? Man, so glad you're out there and we're on the same level!

Do you think there is such a thing as queer aesthetic?
Oh this question! Always the toughest for some reason. It's hard to define it exactly. Historically, I believe 'queer fashion' can be generally categorized by a more militant/tough/androgynous look for women to a highly stylized, effeminized look for men. Today, I've seen an evolution of the two to a more middle ground, and hybridization or melding of the two extremes — boasting a highly stylized andro-look… which is often times confusing to most heteros. Therein lies the beauty. Either way, I believe it has its roots in a social marginalization that borders on mimicking most kinds of 'on the fringe' culture and making it your own. Whether that was during Stonewall, bra burning, the war (sheesh, just pick one), punk, grunge, hip hop or what I see mostly today, the electro rebirth.

To contradict the lesbian stereotype on a local level, I just love what's going on here on the East Side (L.A.). I don't tell them, but I'm madly in love with these young East Side girls (more of a mentality than just a geographic location, by the way) who have sick style — femme, butch and well, mostly in between — that is mocking the hetero aesthetic by looking way better in the same clothes. It looks like they don't give a fuck and, trust me, many don't, but it totally works in that way. (But it does seem like most of the people that gather in WeHo and other areas are a bit fashionably challenged with their baby tees that have stupid sayings on them with bad tattoos poking out.)

Does gender expression come into play at all when you are designing?
Gender expression... gender expression (forgive me, I had a cocktail)... definitely! I think it's internal in me, so it manifests itself in the designs. I'm trailing off into thoughts about the 'pregnant man' and how he needs 'man-ternity' wear, and how great it is that the world can see this, and not only be made aware that such things are possible, the sweet reasons behind it — bearing child for his wife that couldn't and that it is above all normal and out of love. This is the kind of story I love, but, unfortunately, people still get killed, mocked, scorned, thrown out, disowned and beat down for being gay. Even in L.A., you still get shit! You tend to forget about how f'd the rest of the world is about homosexuality and gender. So yeah, it's a huge thing for me, gender expression.

But considering all that, for me gender expression becomes gender subversion. I think you can express your gender or the opposite gender or whatever gender you've decided to become. Most notably through clothing... hiding certain things, playing up certain things, putting 'on' or, of course, 'in' certain things… it's overwhelming the options these days! For me, I'm a 'neither nor' (which doesn't do much for my love life), but does great for my designs...

For example, with 'Titties N Beer!' I took a typically hetero male expression and threw 'Thank God I'm Queer!' on the back. Straight guys want to buy the shirt and, shortly thereafter, I get an angry e-mail as to why I sold them "some gay-ass shit." I revel in these comments!


The 'Gayngsta' shirt, slips a 'y' into what would normally be a tough guy's shirt.




'The Real Gunshow' is an arrow pointing to your crotch, twisting around the — how many times do we have to see and hear it?! — lame straight guy 'This way to the Gunshow!' bullshit. I mean bullshit.


'Major Ass', 'Private Parts' and 'Mary' are my commentary on queers in the military. 'Major Ass' is the overbearing commander who is gay but doesn't want your gay ass in the military. Oh, the irony! Then along comes bossy bottom 'Private Parts' and turns him out. All of a sudden, it's not the ARMY, it's a bunch of 'MARYs'! Ha!




Look closely, and you will see every shirt is a twisting of what you may think it really is. Everything has meaning, at least for me, in everything I do. But hell, just buy and wear them for fun, that's the other half of what I’m about. FUN — fun with design and gender, all while making a statement. And the funniest thing is, the shirts I design for the boys, the girls buy up, and vice versa! I can't tell you how many times some queeny queen asks for 'Titties N Beer!' and a butchy butch wants 'Major Ass'. That's the beauty of being queer and of gender expression in general. I f'in love it.

What is the distinction between your two clothing lines? How would I describe XKiller to folks who don't know about it?
Sew-Gay! was started on a whim, believe it or not, as the Curl Girls' producers wanted to follow my life as a designer. My other line, XKILLER, wasn't ready to go mass market, nor did I want it to. I'm very protective of it. So these queer shirt ideas were always bangin' around in my head. So, I thought now's the perfect opportunity to do this, especially, for a large gay audience. I actually created the character 'Major Ass' for a part in an indie film called Allegiance. Then I thought, 'Private Parts'. All the rest of the shirts, like 'Captain Gaydar', 'Gayngsta' and 'The Real Gunshow', I was so happy to get out of my head and onto shirts! I never created the shirts because I didn't have enough money, nor did I see people relating to my vision. But luckily it worked! (Thank God.)

Lesson learned... never underestimate yourself!

So what is XKILLER?
It's my baby. It's what I really want to do in terms of design. It's dark, it's goth, it's golf, it's punk and it’s just how I feel. It was started from a bad breakup, and I wanted to kill my ex. Cliché right? But then, I hated myself for hating and how much it was eating up my time and energy — taking my focus away from fashion school at that time. I needed to heal myself somehow, and not the typical way of jumping into a new relationship (you people know who you are!)


I needed to process and recover so I started designing shit with all this anger, and writing poetry, short stories, dark and morbid. My head went to places I don't want to go again. So my crazy ass put it all together in a 'zine, got other people (who were more than happy!) to submit their own unhappiness and dark stories/poetry with me. I was literally going crazy. It was my airshaft through which to vent, while still being productive and creative. I mean, who can't relate to heartache?

Yes, I got over the breakup. XKILLER today has evolved into dealing with and attacking creatively anything that's pissing you off. It's the philosophy of taking something as powerful as hate and channeling it into something positive. I have six sick new designs I'm dying to print. I handprint a lot of it out of my house right now, and I sold out of the ones I made for Dinah real quick. I'm trying to get Sew-Gay!, my queer baby, into stores to fund XKILLER. Not to abuse this favorite lesbian term, but it's all a 'process'...