OurChart's Bloggers
Our Favorite Sites
Tips?
thehookup@ourchart.com
Whites-Only Flight?
March 13, 2008 - 8:41am — Lenelle MoïseI was called a "Negro" in the year 2008.
Last Monday, at the butt-crack of dawn, I boarded a Delta flight from windy Hartford, Conn. to warm Atlanta, Ga. I was the last person to board the crowded plane and, as far as I could see, one of only two brown-skinned passengers. I noticed immediately that all the flight attendants were white men. My seat was in the back of the plane, a window seat, across from the claustrophobia-inducing kitchen area. Whenever possible, I always choose a window seat. Always. The only part of flying to distant locations that I enjoy is getting a humbling, bird's eye view of the bustling, preoccupied, damaged, beautiful, wide, small world. On my way to my seat, I made eye contact with a spiky-haired flight attendant whose thin smile seemed strained. I nodded to acknowledge his squinting gaze and politely said, "Good morning."
When I finally got to my assigned chair, there was a casually dressed, blue-eyed businessman sitting in it. He had clearly made himself comfortable. His business documents were scattered about him. He glanced up at my shy smile and knew immediately that I was about to claim my seat. "Hi, I'm in 34A," I confirmed, gently.
Blue Eyes automatically shut his laptop and gathered his many papers. He rambled nervously and unnecessarily, "I'm sorry. I thought I'd sit here if no one showed up, but since you're here, of course the seat is yours."
"Thank you," I said simply, and sat. I expected the nervous man to sit in the aisle seat next to me, but he turned to the spiky-haired flight attendant instead. He pointed to an empty window seat next to another white man behind us. "Actually, can I sit back there?" he quietly asked.
The flight attendant, who had been observing our awkward but harmless interaction, replied loudly in his otherwise charming Georgian accent, "Sure, but you're better off sitting in the front if you want to avoid Negroes."
A middle-aged white woman who sat in front of me let out a little gasp. "Did he just say Negro?" she whispered urgently to her bewildered husband. He snuck a look at me then shrugged.
I turned my head to look at the crazy flight attendant with questioning, alert eyes. He ignored me as Nervous Business Dude broke out into a sweat. "That's not what it's about," he protested then turned to me with pleading, apologetic, embarrassed eyes. "Miss, if you don't mind, I'm going to change my seat."
I wanted to say "It's a free country" but instead I said "No worries." Blue Eyes booked it to the back row and I pulled out my journal to document the incident.
The brazen flight attendant's snide aside is problematic, not only because he used the archaic term "Negroes," but also because he implied that only Negroes sit in the back of planes. He seemed to be in his early 40s so I doubt he had witnessed segregated buses, fountains and lunch counters firsthand. But he was clearly uncomfortable with my hard-earned sense of entitlement and felt that a black woman who dared to displace a white man should be called out and punished.
After Blue Eyes moved, the flight attendant proceeded to harass me. He stared at me without speaking, commented on my clothing, tried not-so-subtly to read my journal, asked me to switch seats with an older white couple and invited me to sit next to him. The worst moment was after he demonstrated how to properly put on a seat belt. When he finished, he didn't put the belt away but repeatedly swung it in my direction as if he were wielding a whip. He grinned through knife-sharp teeth as he did these things in what seemed like an effort to intimidate with Southern charm.
He was so relentless during the first 20 minutes of the flight that I had to count to 10. I imagined myself screaming at him with the force of 50 ancestors (an echoing "LEAVE ME ALONE!"), but then I realized that he might have been harassing me to get me to do just that. If I had screamed, I bet he would have reported to the main pilot that there was a hostile Negress on board. The plane would have landed in the middle of nowhere and I would have been forcibly removed.
Instead of expressing my hurt and anger, I rubbed drops of lavender oil into my temples and took a nap.
When I tell my friends about the incident, they are shocked that no other passengers came to my defense. What would you have done if you saw or heard a white flight attendant harassing a woman of color? If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?
Delicious
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
Google
Yahoo
73 Comments
Your recent flight experience...
Lenelle,
Your silence gave him consent to carry on in the manner in which he did. As you had an audience his name should have been taken and a letter sent to management immediatly. The other passengers who heard should have been advised that you were filing a complaint and they probably would have supported you. I bet you they would have sacked his ignorant backside. I'm sure that you're not the first or last passenger that has experienced this from him and it would be interesting to see if you went 'public' if other came forward.
I travelled for work for years and sat up front and gave as many stares as I received. I've had tickets and boarding passes checked too to make sure I had the 'right' seat. Flight attendants have directed questions to my partner as if I was on her companion ticket or she had the membership to the airline club and I was just tagging along.
Unfortunately the nonsense continues. My partner (for 20+ years) is white and we both can't believe some of the nonsense that still happens in 2008. Some whites are more subtle than others and sometimes argue over what I perceive to be racist.
I have little tolerance for racism be it from blacks or whites, and while I can understand why you didn't 'act up', sometimes we just need to let them no that that type of behaviour is not acceptable. Shame on the others passengers for being silent. Makes you wonder how they go about theitr daily life.
Chin up sista,
Jazmadame in the UK
Lenelle - I admire your clear headedness
I am truly sorry Lenelle that this was your experience and a recent one at that. I think the restraint that you showed illustrates an impressive inner strength. I'm sure it was difficult to muster under those conditions. Usually I would encourage addressing the issue right then and there and with conviction! But you were in a hostile, tightly enclosed space, and as you mention, one of only two passengers of color on the plane. To raise the issue at that time could have been risky for your sake and safety. Had I been you, I believe I would have followed your course of action until I had reached my destination and deplaned. My disdain in just reading the recount of your story, long after the fact, makes me only admire your clear headedness at the time.
With that said, had this white woman been a nearby passenger witnessing this humiliating scenario, I would have immediately raised myself from my seat, politely asked if you would mind if I sit next to you, and upon your approval would have situated myself as a formidable buffer between you and the offending surrounding idiots. At that time, if you weren't too played out by all of the preceeding nuttiness, I think we would have had a very pleasant and engaging conversation on any number of topics. My only goal would have been to diffuse the situation for your comfort, letting you know you were certainly not alone to deal with such outright stupidity. Upon landing, I would have let you know that if you were planning to make a formal complaint, I'd be right behind you as your witness. If you preferred to drop it, I would have written a letter to the airline myself to express my abhorrence at your treatment.
It is not often that I am able to use my majority status as a shield for another's degradation, but when I do have the opportunity, I am grateful and do not shy away. I hope in some small way your knowing that there are others (many noted here) who would have stood with you somehow lessens the sting of the dehumanizing event you experienced.
Self Defense
I teach self-defense to girls and see this as a typical case in which you needed to defend yourself.
It's important to understand that your opponent wants to control you. Your task is to keep or regain control and not allow him to hurt you (more).
It's also important to nip rudeness, aggression, insults, stares, etc. "in the bud" before the improper behavior escalates. Abusers often "test" the intended victim before they begin. If the intended victim does not offer adequate resistance, the abuser feels confident enough to continue.
When the flight attendant made the "avoid Negroes" comment, I would have stood up (so you are closer to his eye level), looked at him directly and immediately asked him his full name. Then I would have asked him his supervisor's name (writing all names down of course, right in front of him). I would have asked "And this is flight number ___?" Then I would have told him that what he just said was racist and I was going to report him. I would have tried to supress my anger and said this in a firm and determined voice, loud enough for others to hear but not yelling or bitchy. I would hope that he would be nice after that, he hoping possibly, that I would change my mind.
If the attendant took one more step "out of line" I would have approached another attendant, asked him his full name (writing this down on the same paper in front of him), and explained what happened to him. I would make it clear to him that I intend to report the incident. I would have told attendant #2 that I do not want Attendant #1 serving me. I would have asked if there was a way for me not to be near him and if it meant moving, I would have moved.
According to your account, attendant #1 did all kinds of little, seemingly unsubstantial things to irritate you. None of the things you mentioned are provable or would sound serious to someone else, but they were all little acts of intimidation. He knew that. He was able to do those things because you did not take action to stop him sooner or at any point during the 20 minute harrassment. Believe me, he assessed you right from the start as being passive or "too nice" and took full advantage. He assessed correctly because you did nothing to stop him. He controlled you to the small extent which he could given the circumstances. Remember: Control is the goal of abusers.
You describe him as being relentless and yourself as wanting to scream and you think he wanted you to scream. I disagree. He wanted to humiliate you, which he did (which is why you wanted to scream). Abusers don't want a scene (which would draw attention to themselves as well), they want their victim to feel isolated & helpless so they can control them. Look how alone you felt. You are turning to all of us.
Next time, take determined – as opposed to angry – action to STOP the person who is bothering you and/or remove yourself from their grasp asap. Always assess the situation: Can you get the offending person away from you? Can you move away from them? Who can help you in your situation? Can you call attention to what the offender is doing in a manner that makes others aware of the injustice?
DO NOT silently suffer!
The fact that the "white" people did not defend you has little to do with race, I think. You should never count on anyone ever stepping in like a hero. In general people will not get involved in conflict situations which they can otherwise avoid. Most people are somewhat meek and want to stay in their comfort zones. That's why in a good self-defense course you learn to "give orders" to bystanders like "You! (point at the person) Call the police!" "You in the red shirt (point!) – block the door!" etc. People are more likely to get involved if you single them out and tell them what to do. The unwillingness of others to get involved is the reason why women are instructed to yell "Fire" when being attacked rather than yelling "Help".
As for Blue Eyes, I think he's harmless in all of this; I wouldn't have taken any of his actions personally.
Of course when the flight is over, if attendant #1 did not apologize or at least bend over backwards trying to appear apologetic I would have followed through and reported him. Maybe I would have followed through even if he had. I would have thought of the next woman he might harrass, who might not be as strong as I.
I WOULD NOT BOYCOTT THE AIRLINE! I've had good experiences on Delta and like that they hire (or keep on) older stewardesses. No airline can control the actions and attitudes of each and every employee. It's up to the passengers to report both the bad – and the good! If attendant #2 had acted helpfully I would have reported both names/behaviors.
I hope this helps. I'm sorry you had to go through this. View it as a chance to learn. And if you have the time, do take a self-defense course! One that involves understanding behaviors, self-assertive tactics, role-playing AND the physical stuff!
PS: ha, now I know why you listed "flight" as the superpower you'd like to have!
You did an excellent job of
You did an excellent job of keeping your cool. I experienced something similar to what you encoutered for two years while attending a predominantly white school in Louisiana. Im sorry that ignorance of this sort still exists. Filing a complaint with delta seems like a SUPERB idea. I think I will pass your story along to a friend of mine who works for Delta. I admire what you did. Keep your head up...
TriceyBaby
This makes my blood boil!
I am absolutely livid that some people continue to be idiots. I doubt Delta would acknowledge if you filed a complaint but it never hurts to try. As for me, I will respond with my credit card.....I travel regularly on business. Delta will not be my carrier, even if they are the lowest airfare!
dealing
i think that i'd have reacted in the same manner as you lenelle. i live in a country where racism is so subtle it urks me. eg: i bring my laptop to wrk, my collegue gives me a thumbs up and say " wow you have a laptop , good job" what the hell does that mean? am i not supposed to be able to buy a laptop? or another example; (i teach english in a foreign country, my collegue asks me " how did you get this job, they speak english where you come from" lol i laugh and respond with a smile, why yes... ( in my mind i fantasize ;u ass hole we speak english in the caribbean and i am well qualified to do this job)
the thing is what does one do with racist ppl? sometimes you may point it out to them, but like you did, it is oh so important to keep your cool, since they are so happy to report:the black girl made a spectacle of herself..
let me know if you find a better way of dealing with this situation
Action plan
I find that 100% sick that any one can treat people with that knd of disrespect and distain for no reason just a medieval prejudice it makes me so angery.
I have to say that You dd the right thing in that situation, who knows what could have happened to you. But the other pasengers there just as bad as him, if your not part of the cure your part of the problem, what would it have took for them to have done something. Him to try and start selling you as a slave. iknow thats a bbit extream but come on they must have seen what he was doing as well.
If I was one of those pasangers i would have been on your side, but very passive agressivly nice and sneeky like. Trip himup as he walks past. Spill my food all over my nice clean seat. Perhaps spill a drink or two on him and then call himout when we are off the plain and landedso he's not in any position of power and if he hasa problem with it i'll cover himin chocolate untill he looks black and let him have some of his ownmedicen.
that kind of shit souldn't happen ever.
O.Mindas....
da dirty south
Grrl...you showed the patience of a saint! Good for you because you would have been immediately labeled "the angry black woman" with no questions asked and taken off the plane for no reason. Of course that is exactly what the bold bigot wanted. As I myself have witnessed, the dirty south mentality is still alive, just well hidden. It is a crying shame in 2008! We are set to elect the first black president and unfortunately the bigots will be coming out of the wood work. I hope Obama is ready and has your patience!
Tiffany
Well that's just
Well that's just utterly...ridiculous? There are too many words.
It's amazing how we consider ourselves ONE nation, united we stand, blah blah blah, yet each STATE operates completely different from one another, many of them lacking in any sort of progressive or enlightened mentality.
I would have reacted the way that woman did with her husband, except I would have said it louder and angrier, changed "he" to "you", and looked that bigoted piece of shit right in the eye as I asked it.
Sidenote: looking at your amusing little old-school "whites only" inserts - why is there an apostrophe in the first picture? Well I guess if someone's ignorant in one aspect, they're ignorant in others!
Shit, what an asshole. I
Shit, what an asshole. I don't know for sure, but I hope I would have done something. And I probably would have raised my voice or called him something very stupid. I tend to do that when I'm angry.
I agree, write to the airline company, or/and file a report about harassment!
Take care!
<3
Amelie
The Airport Battle
I just wanted to write a quick note to thank you all for your generous notes of solidarity, encouragement and support. It has been inspiring to read about how you imagine you would have reacted in that overwhelming situation. My own mild reaction on the flight that morning was the best I could muster at the time. But I must admit that I am not always so quiet/graceful/centered/still. I have a slam poem called "The F**k You Now Manifesto" all about women reclaiming anger and speaking out in self-defense in the face of adversity (hear a clip on iTunes). I can channel Kali and Pele when I have to. But on the flight last week, I found that my anger was complicated by disappointment, awe, fear and fatigue. Alas, I am not superhuman.
Since 911, I (and other people of color, eccentric fashionistas and obvious artists) regularly get targeted and harassed in airports--especially by the carry-on items scanning staff. I perform all over the U.S. so do a lot of flying and have learned to go to my "happy place" when yet another security guard fingers my personal items for invisible weed/weapons. Sadly, the flight attendant's racism and cruelty was an extension of the drama I go through regularly when trying to get from Point A to Point B. I try not to let bigotry distract me from reaching my destination.
That said, I will keep the fiercest protestors among you in mind when I'm on the next flight :)
Take Care, Lenelle.
This is so disturbing on so many levels
We found your blog about your encounter on the airline flight really disturbing. Did you contact Delta? And if so what was their response? My partner and I travel often and if Delta did not take some action about this, we will avoid travel on that airline and will let them know why? While we understand your response and cannot even begin to understand what you must go through on an all too regular basis, we truly believe that unless there is a consequence to actions, things will never change.
The flight attendant should be disciplined by the airline and probably should be fired. There is no possible excuse for what he did.
Your story really struck a chord with us and when we recount it to our friends, mouths drop open and disbelief is expressed.
You did the right thing while on the flight,
however, it's not too late to write a letter to the airline. You can tell them that while you first thought you'd let it go, it's been bothering you a lot and you needed to make a formal complaint about the flight attendant. Even if the twit who treated you in such an appalling manner did so because he was raised to be a bigot and racist, it's no excuse because the airline should have trained him to behave respectfully. He should not keep his job. If he behaved that way to you he will do it to others who may not be able to define in words as well as you just what took place. Please write a formal complaint. It's never too late to have an injustice made right.
Lady Moor
I understand, Lenelle, why
I understand, Lenelle, why you personally didn't feel you could say something without it being turned around on you. I understand your fear and anxiety. That is why it so important for "whites" or "non-minorities" to take a stand against racism. We have to let it be known that we won't stand for it either. I should have reconsidered my statement of "what I would have done if I were you" and rephrased it as, "what I, myself as a "white" woman would have done if I was on that plane and heard and witnessed the appalling behavior of the flight attendant."
WHATEVER you did or will do in the future, you deserve our respect and you have my admiration. Best of luck to you.
In this day and age...
shit like that really isnt acceptable and i cant believe how composed you were.
hope ur well.
x
Whip that White Boy
My mouth dropped open when I read the sentence "'Sure, but you're better off sitting in the front if you want to avoid Negroes'" and it remained open throughout the rest of the article. As you pointed out, not only is it absolutely absurd that he would use the word Negro and suggest that black people sit in the back of planes, buses, etc. but the suggestion that Blue Eyes would want to AVOID you because you're black was enough to turn me red with anger. I didn't think the story could get any worse but his constant harassment needs to be reported.
I know that hindsight is 20/20 so to say you coulda/woulda/shoulda is futile. That being said, I would have calmly asked those around me if they could hear and see how you were being harassed and if they would serve as a witness to this event as you were going to report him. I would then calmly tell the man that you would report him upon deboarding the plane, but in the meantime you'd appreciate if he let you continue the rest of the flight in peace.
We all need to stop this kind of behavior NOW! I don't care if you're black, white, red, yellow, brown or purple. I don't care if it directly affects you, indirectly, or not at all. We cannot let this kind of behavior to go on.
I remember a couple years back I was editing for a college paper. The next day was April Fools so a lot of the articles were funny, satirical pieces. One article I read was about a 50s diner that would be opening near campus and in the spirit of the times, a "Whites Only" sign would be posted and they would refuse service to all black people. The article became more and more ridiculous as the fake interview with the fake restaurant owner revealed stereotype after stereotype. I brought the article to the attention of the head editor. I simply said, "This isn't funny and I'm offended." (And it is REALLY tough to offend me). Well, they ran the article anyway and no one complained. No one. I was appalled. I cannot believe that people had such a twisted sense of humor that they possibly found it funny or that they might be too embarrassed/busy/careless to not report it. I quit the next day.
So sorry, Lenelle
So sorry, Lenelle, that you had to endure this person and his ignorance. Here's a gift from me to you - my favorite written words -
This passage is taken from “How It Feels to Be Colored Me” written by Zora Neale Hurston in 1928.
“…Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company! It’s beyond me.
But in the main, I feel like a brown bag of miscellany propped against a wall. Against a wall in company with other bags, white, red and yellow. Pour out the contents, and there is discovered a jumble of small things priceless and worthless. A first-water diamond, an empty spool, bits of broken glass, lengths of string, a key to a door long since crumbled away, a rusty knife-blade, old shoes saved for a road that never was and never will be, a nail bent under the weight of things too heavy for any nail, a dried flower or two, still a little fragrant. In your hand is the brown bag. On the ground before you is the jumble it held – so much like the jumble in the bags could they be emptied, that all might be dumped in a single heap and the bags refilled without altering the content of any greatly. A bit of colored glass more or less would not matter. Perhaps that is how the Great Stuffer of Bags filled them in the first place – who knows?”
Nothing but love
Tex
Thanks for your patience and indulgence to those who have read this passage on a prior comment of mine - its worth reading again.
The pleasure of your company...
Gloria Bigelow
That's one of my favorite quotes as well and having met you I don't know how anyone COULD deny themselves the pleasure of your company... It's beyond me as well!
And F*ck 'em!
Do something about it!!! DO IT NOW!
you have got to be kidding me - how atrocious is it that this happened in 2008?!!! I do hope that you have formally written a complaint outlining this to Delta airlines?
As a white woman, if I had been sitting there you can bet your bottom dollar that I would have stood up and had my finger in his smirky face and wiped his smirk OFF his ugly fugly face. I then would have got the OTHER flight attendants, and demanded that he NOT serve me for the flight, and expressed that I would be writing a written complaint the second that I got off the plane - in face, please get me some paper and a pen so that I can start writing it now!
Screw that, that shit's just not on!
you know, I live in Australia, and I have found that down here I RARELY see discrimination towards lesbians. Only ONCE in my life, have I had someone make a snide rude comment to me - until last week.
I was standing in line at the grocer, and said "excuse me" to the young girl standing before me and her father, and leaned over and got a divider to put between my food and theirs. Her father looked at me, standing there in my nurses uniform, and my partner standing by me, and said "Lesbian looking cunt".
I was shocked. I started shaking, and my face went red. I wanted to stand up to him and say "excuse me, what did you say?" - and if he had been a white man, I would have. That's what shocked me the most - it was an Aboriginal man. A person who is one of the largest minorities in Australia - someone who faces discrimination in many ways, just as I do being a lesbian in a non-lesbian loving government country. Not only that, but he looked a little psychotic, and then turned to the checkout guy and said "what are you looking at, look harder and I'll smash your glasses in"........
I decided that in this case it was safest for me to pretend I didn't hear him. But I was shocked and appalled that a) he said the c word in front of his kids, b) he is a part of a minority, discriminating against another minority, c) I had done nothing wrong for him to say it - I even had said "excuse me" - but just coz we looked gay, he decided to have a go at us.
It's wrong. what happened to you is DOUBLE wrong, because the flight attendent was there to SERVE YOU, the customer - not insult you. Get your pen to paper, get the phone to your ear and start making some calls, and COMPLAIN. If noone ever stood up for themselves, change would never happen.
That's SO messed up the only
That's SO messed up the only conclusion I can draw from that is that he may have had some kind of mental/emotional imbalance causing him to be full of rage. I almost feel sorry for him, but DAMN that's just uncalled for!
Right on
I really liked your post. :) Peace, Jodie
Are you kidding me??
All I can say is that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am shocked and appalled and am deeply sorry for your having to go through such an awful ordeal. I just can't believe that, it's like one of those moments like are you fucking serious!!??
Jim Crow Dies Hard
We haven't come as far as we think we have. In my opinion, we've hardly gone anywhere. Same old racism, but often in newer, more covert forms. There's a great paper written by Kristen Myers called "White Fright" that talks about Jim Crow ideology in modern speech. As a white person, if I had been around that situation, I can guarantee you I would have said something. I have zero tolerance for racism. But, if I was quite literally in your shoes, I can't say what I would have done as I've never had the experience of living as a person of color. I would like to think I would have stood up to him, but I really can't say.
I for one am not surprised
I for one am not surprised that you were gracious because that's always the story: so many people deal with this kind of shit all the time but simply say something sassy or don't say anything at all because the bigot doesn't deserve their time. But I should add that even if you had shouted at him it wouldn't take away from your graciousness or patience.
I think the white lady should have said something out of solidarity. Everyone feels differently about such confrontations, some people don't want any attention drawn to it, they just want to ignore it, but at least if she had said something you would have known that someone else was not willing to watch that asshat say that. Also, she would have signaled to the racist guy that not all white people share his view.
I had a transgendered coworker once, and the first time someone made a stupid comment about him, I assertively told them it was disgusting. Then when I got the chance I asked the guy if my reaction had been appropriate, explaining that as a non-trans person who tries to show solidarity I wanted to know if I had shown the right kind of support. He told me what worked best for him and thanked me for making a point of resisting the stupid remark. The moral of my tangent being that even if that lady wasn't sure how to proceed in a way you'd be comfortable with she should have said something.
Sorry, that happened
I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm not surprised.
File a complaint. Just to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. Be kind, but firm about it.
Oh, thank God they got a "sista" on this site (and such a talented one too). I'm so glad you're here. :)
http://RoseRollinsFanBlog.blogspot.com
I think the fact that the
I think the fact that the woman who gasped didn't verbalize her disgust along with the others who "didn't want to get involved" leads one to believe they felt the same way as the attendant. After all no one spoke up to tell the attendant his comment was out of line and I doubt any complained to Delta afterwards, which just feeds bigotry so that it's roots grow deeper and harder to pull up. If they weren't against the behavior then their silence made them for it.
You definetly handle yourself
When I 1st started reading your blog I thought that the Flight attendant was calling the passengar out on his behavior. I was actually shocked to read it was the opposite. I cant believe Delta would allow such atrocious behavior, talk about a law suit waiting to happen. I may not have caused a scene, but I would have most definetly followed up with a complaint to the head attendant & delta. I would have not let him get away with that. He's going to one day pull that with the wrong person & get hurt.
Get His Lame Ass Fired
NakedAngel I feel your hurt and pain on that one. Im glade you made it back safe but you need to call and inform someone or better yet get a laywer and sue his ass. Trust me things like that need to be taken serious, dont just forget baby girl that happens too much. Find you a civil right lawyer contact Al Sharpten someone do something. Martin luther King tought us to stand up and let us be heard not hushed and mistreated.
We have to speak up for ourselves, no one esle will do it.
As a mixed blood Irish Indian woman I wish I could say that surprised me, but it doesn't. First off I would have gone to one of the other flight attendants and reported the freak, if that didn't work I would have asked the woman that heard the comment if he could give have her name and number and then reported him to his bosses. I learned early that the only person you can count on to stick up for you.....is you. We need to speak up. In a city that is mostly white (I know shocking)I was standing in line, an African American woman was behind me, and white woman was last in line, normally when a new checker comes on they take the person next in line, but what do you think happened? She picked the white woman, so I went and talked to the manager; he happened to be an African American. He apologized and went to talk to this employee. You have to speak up and keep speaking up until things like this are only a painful memory. If I was on that plane I would have gave that attend a piece of my mind.
waw
I have dread locks, they are gold and black. I am a black woman, I love loud jewelry and loud colors. to say the least I stand out!!
I hang out with people from all races, (we are all international students in college)Japanese, Caribbean, Black, White. We basically go every where together. sometimes we go out and people just stare.
it amazes me how peoples heads will turn when we enter a restaurant.
I am impressed with the way you handled yourself. I am a very sarcastic and witty person. So I would have put him in his place in a very polite manner.
If I was witnessing this I would have had to add my two cents.
I am accustomed to people staring at me (all the time, everyday) I can deal with that sometimes, but snide remarks and comments that is where I draw the line.
Sorry this happened to you !!!!!
peace and one love,
FEMME
outrage
I think the most fucked up thing about your experience was that all the other white people on the plane didnt have the balls to say anything
Its our job as white folks to humiliate assholes like that, not your job
its an outrage
if i was on that flight, I would have said more than a few things to him, the management and onward
fuck him and fuck everyone else on that plane
thats my three cents
"Artists use lies to reveal the truth, politicians to conceal it."
-V, V for Vendetta
Cuh-razy white folks! I am
Cuh-razy white folks!
I am so sorry that happened to you. I've been in similar situations with openly racist people and it is often hard to know what to do when you're in the moment. You want to destroy the person (physically/verbally) but you also want to have the upper hand and be rational and articulate.
What would I have done? I think after I recovered from the shock of the the Negro comment I would of said, "Excuse me, what did you say?" as a way of pointing it out.
I also would of documented everything (which you said you did) that happened along with the racist's name, etc. I would of asked the passengers around me to be witnesses and gotten their information and when I got off the plane made a complaint immediately to the Delta manager in the airport. Then I would of followed up with an email complaint to Delta. Contacting the media is a great idea too.
Encounters with racism are often so devastating or draining that it can be hard to do all of this. But if you do act, you will feel so much better. If you don't, it festers and eats away at you. And it's not too late.
I try to keep control...
...if it was me, I would have said something, not harshly but I would have made it clear that I do not appreciate being harassed. I would also clearly state that if he/she continued, I have no problem complaining to whoever will listen and make sure that he/she gets reprimanded.
If I was another passenger and I witness this, I will flat out and tell that person that they are out of line. I can't believe no one did or say anything....
Wow
I am extremely sorry to hear you went through this. I am not an American citizen and I have to honestly say, I am not surprised. There are a lot of ignorant people in the US. They're not only ignorant, they are racist, uneducated, heartless, mindless people. I don't understand the fascination that some people have with white skin. As someone mentioned earlier, some of these people are racist against anyone who is not a white American. Being an Asian, I have seen this behavior around me too.
I probably would've done what you did. I am shocked that no one else shut that guy up. But maybe they didn't because you didn't. Its hard to say. All I can say is, its high time people realize that this behavior is unacceptable in today's time.
okay
so i know this is bad but as i read your blog, i was waiting for the moment when you would tell us that you woke up and it was all dream. what an asshole! you know, you can't take stuff like that personally. i believe that people are racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-semetic just because it makes them feel better about themselves. i think blue eyes just wanted a window seat, but the attendent wanted to degrade you. what a prick. i couldn't imagine giving my money to a business and then being treated that way.
the fact that he said "negro" and said it so loud...that must have felt totally degrading. i know how part of you wanted to say "WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM?" but that other part of us just doeasn't even want to deal with people's idiocy and stoop to their level. jack asses like that aren't worth our time; but then again, are we obligated in some way to do something? i've asked myself that a lot times; whether it's right to just let things go or are we supposed to act on behalf of justice, on behalf of the next person?
sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the old saying that if we're not a part of the solution, we're a part of the problem. in situations like this, i think people may be in shock or waiting for soemone else to do or say something. just like all those kids at that college were criticized for sitting around and watching their fellow schoolmate get tazed. the white woman in front of you obviously noticed, so i'm sure others did. maybe some didn't notice, some thought maybe you didn't hear, and some were waiting for someone else, or you, to do something first. i have no idea how i would have reacted if i were you, though public shame is a good way to get back at someone, such as speaking up in a way that other people could hear. i'm sure most people on board who heard it thought that what he did was flat-out WRONG and would have backed you up and gone with you to file a complaint. i would have.
this whole situation just reminded me of that poem, "first they came..."
I would have told him off
That is crazy. I would have told him off. I would have timed it after the plane landed - that way he would have no power to screw with my plans. He is a racist and a bully. Someone needs to give him an attitude adjustment.
southern perspective
I would have said something to the flight attendant, had I been on the plane with you that day. I wouldn't have raised hell with her or anything because I'm not fond of being escorted off of airplanes by federal marshals. However, I would be more than happy to tell her that from one white woman to another that she is way out of line, she owes you an apology here and now, and she needs to step off bitch.
I point out that I am white only because after a lifetime of living in the South, I've found that Bubba and Bubbette will often shut their bigoted mouths when they realize they don't have the support of all white people.
Oh, and since she missed the opportunity for that immediate apology, I say report her and keep hounding them until she's faced consequences. That was completely unacceptable behavior on her part.
You, however, have amazing inner strength and I am truly in awe of your self control. Bravo.
i just don't get it...
wtf is wrong w/ people? you know, i actually have friends that are my age (21) who refuse to vote for Obama if he wins the Democratic ticket just because he's black?!? how f'cked up is that? my best friend is a hardcore Democrat, but he refuses to vote for an African-American male. mind you, we are from a very southern rural area...but shit. that's just ridiculous. my father just turned 40 and is the same way. I'm appalled at the both of them. and, guess what? both my father and my best friend are gay Caucasian males. for people that stand for equality and rights, i just think it's f'cked up of them to not want to vote for a black male for President. as a lesbian Filipino-American female, i have my share of ignorant comments thrown my way... don't people THINK? jeez...will it ever stop?
p.s.
i would have said something if i'd heard/seen how that flight attendant was treating you. i just seriously can't tolerate such. i probably would have said, "what is your problem?!" and, i guess, taken it from there. *appalled*
--the world is a vampire...
WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
I'm impressed by your patience and great restraint. I am NOT suprised that there are people out there like him BUT I am suprised that his cahones were that large to go there and so smugly. I'm enraged and sad. Kudos to you for being so amazing in how you handled yourself.
UGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Okay...I'm good.
Did you file an official complaint?
I would've filed a complaint with the airline - not out of anger and disgust (even though I feel angry and disgusted that this happened to you), but out of a need to: a) Cost Blue Eyes his job; and b) Prevent it happening to someone else.
A friend of mine was in line at a fast food restaurant. In front of her was a white man (this happened in SC) who became angry when the girl behind the counter messed up his order. He flipped out calling he "Nigger this" and "Nigger that". My friend was apalled! As the man left, she noticed he got into a service van for a cable company. She called the company and reported that one of their employees at Such and Such restaurant on Such and Such street just went into a racist tirade. She left her name and number. Later that day, a woman called her back to apologize for having witnessed it and said the man had been fired! Driving that van, he was representing a company and they did not want him to be the face of their brand! If people are filled with hate, they need to keep it to themselves ESPECIALLY if in the service industry.
I am 35 and I have been refused service in my lifetime and I had a friend in fifth grade who stopped being my friend because she said her dad told her she was not allowed to be friends with black people! That was in the south. But living in NYC, I face much of the same - but in different forms, like having a hard time renting an apartment in a decent neighborhood no matter how much you earn. The landlords were happy on the phone until I showed up to look at places and they saw I wasn't white. I had one woman say, "I thought you were white! You sounded white on the phone! You fooled me!" (with a laugh of course, to try to sugar coat the bigotry) Yep. In 2008.
A Catch 22....
My first reaction was why didn't anyone say anything? Then I thought you didn't say anything. Then I thought, if you did you would have probably been arrested. What a Catch 22. The fact you were in the plane was the problem. On the ground you were free to make a fuss. On the plane it's like being Francis Farmer.They'll put you in a straight jacket and haul you away.
It's truly a case of ignorance with two feet. I've always said, a person prejudiced because of skin color is something you can't just hide. Prejudice against someone with an obvious disability you just can't hide. You have to stand there and take it. I guess that's why Hitler tagged the Jews. So they couldn't just hide.
The point is you obviously have an inner strength that is enormous.
In Australia, after missing our connections because of the airlines mechanical difficulties, we recieved no assistance from a ground person while straight couples did,(and we were holding first class tickets). When I confronted him? Asking what the fuck is your problem? He called the police. An Australian guy came over to me and said, "I apologize to you because of some of the ignorant people we have in this country." I thanked him and told him. I don't blame the world for the acts of an idiot. I blame the idiot. The police couldn't arrest me for cursing. I filed a complaint and recieved my expenses back and an apology.
Some prejudices we can't hide from. God handed out stupid just as equally as smarts. Courage as equally as fear.
I wish you would have said you followed this up with a complaint. People like him should not be allowed to behave that way to anyone. He should be censured. That was in your power to do.
Thank you for sharing. I admire you cool.
When God created Rachel she was just showing off.
www.RachelShelleyUnplugged.com
a similar situation
happened to me last weekend. My friends and I went to Hooters after work and were asked to leave for no reason. I'm black, my guy friend is black and my girl friend is mexican. We were like "what?!" we were so confused and frustrated. Our waitress also didn't come over to our table for 20minutes. so we sought out the manager to tell him that we would like like some drinks and food. He ended up taking our food order, but after that was when he told us we had to leave. We ended up calling the police. When I was on the phone with the operator at the police station and told him our situation, his response was "Well don't they have the right to kick out anyone they choose for any reason?" my response was "are you seriously saying this to me right now? I can't believe you just said that to me." So the police ended up coming to talk to us at Hooters. Nothing ended up happening because "no one committed a crime." But the whole situation was pretty bogus. And the cops still made us leave. We had to pack our food to go. That was the first time I had ever experienced discrimination so blatantly.
Of course none of you were there to see or experience this, but how would you have felt in that situation? would you have reacted the same way?
Loooong lunch
Ok, so the thought that comes to my mind is that you need to FILL that Hooters to capacity with People of Color (& pals) on a day/time that would normally be busy for them. Have everyone order the garden salad and tap water with lemon. Then enjoy a REAAAAAAL leisurely lunch. And remember, poor service demands small tips. I was with a group that left a quarter once, but that was truly for exceptionally poor service, not a commententary of social justice.
You wouldn't be breaking the law either, if they wanted to call the cops. In fact, be prepared to supply them with the number of community liaison if there is one, and share with them that one or several of the partons dining in the restaurant are reporters/contributors to the news organization with the largest circulation/audience in your area.
Hooters be a hokey update on the Woolworth's lunch counter, but... it would put a smile on my face. Heck, if it's in the Northeast, I could be free for lunch.
:(
oh my goodness, all i can say is spread the word!!! in australia that's illegal. what is the world coming to?!!! i'm so sorry you had to endure that! :(
Did you actually eat that food?
And are you still healthy? There is no way I would have taken, paid for or eaten that food. In fact, I may have gone and gotten food from somewhere else and stood right in front of their door eating it, relishing every bite and making customers ask me to get out of the way.
Sometimes a little civil disobedience goes a long way. The cops were right. There was nothing they could do. These types of discriminatory acts have to be settled in court. The cops deal with street justice. You should serve papers on them. You'll probably use, but you should make them go through the excercise anyway. And don't forget the power of the fourth estate -- the media.
Where was this, anyway?
There's a thin line...
Whites Only Flight
I too would have stood up for you and likely been removed from the plane as well.
The act by this flight attendant is unconscionable!! (Actually despicable!)
I would not only send a complaint to Delta, but would as well as earlier suggested, send this in to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. I would send it specifically to the wonderful chief of the editorial page, Cynthia Tucker. She is a wonderful African-American whom I read faithfully from California.
My apologies for your embarassment and pain. Having grown up in the South and left it for reasons that may seem obvious from my response, I hate that this xeonphobia is still alive and well in 2008.
(As an aside, this is the only blog to which I have ever responded, and may be the last, but I had to send this note to show my support and send an apology for those who are still so ignorant.)
Not just a problem in the south