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L to the V Words
March 25, 2008 - 5:37am — editor
[Editor's Note: Last Sunday, Ilene Chaiken and the cast of The L Word gathered in San Francisco. The occasion was not merely to commemorate the season finale, but also to support V-Day, the organization founded by Eve Ensler of "The Vagina Monlogues" fame, to combat violence against women and girls worldwide. Eve called Sunday's event “L to the V.” It was an intimate and celebratory affair, but with a profound message. We are fortunate to have both Ilene’s and Jennifer Beals’ remarks from Sunday evening right here. In the coming weeks, Jennifer and Ilene will be spearheading an exciting new project in conjunction with V-Day’s, "V to the 10th" event in New Orleans. It is a project in which we'll all be invited to participate — more details soon.]
Emily Scott Pottruck, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken and Mia Kirshner
Ilene's Remarks
During the second season of The L Word we pulled off a coup. We convinced Eve Ensler to appear as the literary editor charged with overseeing Jenny Schecter’s memoir about childhood sexual abuse. And it was perfect. Right? Because who has spoken so broadly and powerfully as Eve about the worldwide epidemic of violence against women and girls? And even more significantly, who has turned words into action and activism and hope that someday we will put an end to it?
The confluence of the L and the V goes beyond the fact that both have appropriated letters of the alphabet to represent and advance the stories of women. I have since joined the board of V-Day, with pride and gratitude for the recognition that our lesbian stories have meaning and impact amid V-Day’s vast, daunting and essential mission.
There are several people to whom gratitude is due this evening:
Traci Des Jardins contributed the wine and champagne. Thank you, Traci. Claire Munn hooked us up at Hotel Vitale, which might just be my favorite hotel in the world. I want to thank Emily Scott Pottruck, my fellow V-Board member, for welcoming us into her beautiful home tonight, and for this fantastic party. And I especially want to thank Beth Karpfinger, without whom I wouldn’t have known where to begin putting this evening together, nor where it might end.
I also want to thank my colleagues and good, good friends, the cast of The L Word, especially those who are here tonight:
Mia Kirshner is herself profoundly dedicated to bringing attention and resources to refugee women and girls all over the world. Her first book is to be published this spring by Pantheon. In I Live Here, many of their stories are told in their own words and images.
Rose Rollins. Rose has created a character, Tasha Williams, who inspires such admiration – even I have once or twice been stirred to rare twinges of patriotic fervor.
Pam Grier is one of the all time great fighters of the good fight and one of the best and most reliable friends of all time. You should know that in the course of traveling here today in support of V-Day, her first flight today was cancelled. Then she sat on the runway for two hours and she has to be on a plane back to LA an hour from now because she is due on set tomorrow at the crack of dawn to start production on a new movie.
Daniela Sea, in portraying the transgendered Max with such dignity and compassion, is taking part in a conversation that amounts to a new frontier in the public discourse.
Then there’s the lovely Rachel Shelley, who actually flew in from London to be here. Rachel’s L Word character, Helena, knows that the very best thing to do with one’s money is to spend it improving the lives of other women. And Rachel herself has improved many a rough day of shooting with her grace and her sweet generosity.
Kate Moennig. What can I say other than that Kate has almost single-handedly fomented a liberation movement of inspiration, aspiration, acceptance and desire among a vast and unsuspecting population of women.
And now I am privileged — as I have been from the moment that she decided to lend her powerful presence, her formidable brain and her remarkable talent to The L Word — I am privileged to introduce my exquisite co-host for this evening, Jennifer Beals.
Emily Scott Pottruck, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken, Jennifer Beals and Beth Karpfinger
Jennifer's Remarks
About ten years ago a friend of mine, Lisa Gay Hamilton, called to tell me she had just done this AMAZING play and that it had made her feel so expansive and empowered and she encouraged me to do it as soon as I had the opportunity. I asked her, "What's it called?" She said "The Vagina Monologues." "Uh huh," I said. She said, "It's so great we all read monologues about our character's relationship to her womanhood, to her vagina." And I just said "Lisa Gay, I love my vagina, I'm fine with my vagina — we have a good relationship. I don't need to say "vagina" 500 times to feel connected to my vagina. But I'm glad you had such a great experience."
Then at about this time last year my agent called to tell me I had been asked to be in "The Vagina Monologues" and he was going to send me the monologue they wanted me to do. It had to do with childbirth. I said send me the whole play because I want to read it in context. I was working on a film at the time the play arrived and I read it in my trailer during lunch. At first some of the stories were funny and I just laughed out loud. Some were infuriating. Then by the end I found myself weeping and I wasn't sure exactly why but I knew that it had to do with the realization that I was connected — inexplicably, mysteriously, numinously connected to all women, everywhere. And I felt proud, and mournful and suddenly responsible. And that's what good storytelling can do. It connects you not only to yourself but to others as well.
The fact is we are all, no matter where we live, surrounded constantly by stories, whether they are literal, oral or visual. In November I went to visit my brother in Ethiopia. He works for the UN. We were walking down the road and I saw a donkey hobbling under the weight of the wood it was carrying. I said to my brother it must be so hard to be a donkey in Ethiopia. He turned to me and said it's much harder to be a woman. And sure enough, when I looked more closely, behind the donkey was a woman carrying twice as much wood. Beside the woman was a man talking to the woman, carrying only his cellphone. This story is told to every girl, every boy, every man, every woman every day in Ethiopia. It is a benign story compared to the ones of genital mutilation in the countryside, but I think it's the "benign" story that tells us what is unapologetically codified within the culture.
As for the U.S. the benign story I'm really growing tired of is the "humorous" story of the blonde woman who is either injured or humiliated all in order to sell beer. Not funny. I am tired of these stories. I am angered by these stories. There are other stories far more wondrous — stories of women claiming and reclaiming power, stories of rage and resistance and indefatigable courage, and stories of women and some men — reaching across great divides and into the most treacherous places on Earth where turmoil reigns and violence against women is unchecked, taking the hands of those women, helping to lift them up and leading them toward safety and sanctuary and self-determination.
Those are the stories of V-Day.
I've come to understand through taking part in telling many stories of many women, but especially in these last six years telling the stories of The L word — I've come to understand that telling stories in and of itself is a radical act. It's an act that changes hearts and minds. Representing, proclaiming, truth telling, story telling progresses the culture. The right story, at the right time can move society forward, palpably, perceptibly and effectively. I've come to understand that while history may indeed be written by the victors we will make ourselves victorious by writing our own histories.
What I have realized since that fateful day Lisa Gay told me about her experience doing the "Vagina Monologues" is I may feel fine with my sexuality, my womanhood, my power, I may be one of the lucky two out of three women who has escaped rape. But, globally, I am the exception and the reality is I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY.
And I think to myself how can I be helpful? How can I help all those women, all you women to whom I am connected but will never know? As an actor I am part of the storytelling process — I can be part of the the stories that are told far and wide in cinemas, on television and on the Internet. And after meeting Eve Ensler I realized I can be part of V-Day.
V-Day is telling the stories in order to change the old story. V-Day is changing the old story by putting a better, necessary, irresistible story on the ground in places where that other story was utterly unbearable, untenable and destined to be overthrown. V-Day is rewriting the story of women.
I am proud to take part in bringing L to the V. And I am excited too to be taking part three weeks from now in V to the 10th where with Eve Ensler's support we (Ilene and I and some of our colleagues) will begin collecting the LGBT stories of the women of New Orleans — a first step in a new storytelling and performance project that will, we hope, bring forward more and more of the stories that represent us, move us, change us and ultimately connect us. I feel inspired and called to action by this V-Day movement, by this woman, these women, you women. Thank you for coming out tonight. Thank you for your generosity and for your activism. Thank you for sharing our L Word season finale with us in support of V-Day.
Rachel Shelley, Rose Rollins, Mia Kirshner, Katherine Moennig, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken, Jennifer Beals and Daniela Sea
Emily Scott Pottruck, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken and Mia Kirshner
Ilene's Remarks
During the second season of The L Word we pulled off a coup. We convinced Eve Ensler to appear as the literary editor charged with overseeing Jenny Schecter’s memoir about childhood sexual abuse. And it was perfect. Right? Because who has spoken so broadly and powerfully as Eve about the worldwide epidemic of violence against women and girls? And even more significantly, who has turned words into action and activism and hope that someday we will put an end to it?
The confluence of the L and the V goes beyond the fact that both have appropriated letters of the alphabet to represent and advance the stories of women. I have since joined the board of V-Day, with pride and gratitude for the recognition that our lesbian stories have meaning and impact amid V-Day’s vast, daunting and essential mission.
There are several people to whom gratitude is due this evening:
Traci Des Jardins contributed the wine and champagne. Thank you, Traci. Claire Munn hooked us up at Hotel Vitale, which might just be my favorite hotel in the world. I want to thank Emily Scott Pottruck, my fellow V-Board member, for welcoming us into her beautiful home tonight, and for this fantastic party. And I especially want to thank Beth Karpfinger, without whom I wouldn’t have known where to begin putting this evening together, nor where it might end.
I also want to thank my colleagues and good, good friends, the cast of The L Word, especially those who are here tonight:
Mia Kirshner is herself profoundly dedicated to bringing attention and resources to refugee women and girls all over the world. Her first book is to be published this spring by Pantheon. In I Live Here, many of their stories are told in their own words and images.
Rose Rollins. Rose has created a character, Tasha Williams, who inspires such admiration – even I have once or twice been stirred to rare twinges of patriotic fervor.
Pam Grier is one of the all time great fighters of the good fight and one of the best and most reliable friends of all time. You should know that in the course of traveling here today in support of V-Day, her first flight today was cancelled. Then she sat on the runway for two hours and she has to be on a plane back to LA an hour from now because she is due on set tomorrow at the crack of dawn to start production on a new movie.
Daniela Sea, in portraying the transgendered Max with such dignity and compassion, is taking part in a conversation that amounts to a new frontier in the public discourse.
Then there’s the lovely Rachel Shelley, who actually flew in from London to be here. Rachel’s L Word character, Helena, knows that the very best thing to do with one’s money is to spend it improving the lives of other women. And Rachel herself has improved many a rough day of shooting with her grace and her sweet generosity.
Kate Moennig. What can I say other than that Kate has almost single-handedly fomented a liberation movement of inspiration, aspiration, acceptance and desire among a vast and unsuspecting population of women.
And now I am privileged — as I have been from the moment that she decided to lend her powerful presence, her formidable brain and her remarkable talent to The L Word — I am privileged to introduce my exquisite co-host for this evening, Jennifer Beals.
Emily Scott Pottruck, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken, Jennifer Beals and Beth Karpfinger
Jennifer's Remarks
About ten years ago a friend of mine, Lisa Gay Hamilton, called to tell me she had just done this AMAZING play and that it had made her feel so expansive and empowered and she encouraged me to do it as soon as I had the opportunity. I asked her, "What's it called?" She said "The Vagina Monologues." "Uh huh," I said. She said, "It's so great we all read monologues about our character's relationship to her womanhood, to her vagina." And I just said "Lisa Gay, I love my vagina, I'm fine with my vagina — we have a good relationship. I don't need to say "vagina" 500 times to feel connected to my vagina. But I'm glad you had such a great experience."
Then at about this time last year my agent called to tell me I had been asked to be in "The Vagina Monologues" and he was going to send me the monologue they wanted me to do. It had to do with childbirth. I said send me the whole play because I want to read it in context. I was working on a film at the time the play arrived and I read it in my trailer during lunch. At first some of the stories were funny and I just laughed out loud. Some were infuriating. Then by the end I found myself weeping and I wasn't sure exactly why but I knew that it had to do with the realization that I was connected — inexplicably, mysteriously, numinously connected to all women, everywhere. And I felt proud, and mournful and suddenly responsible. And that's what good storytelling can do. It connects you not only to yourself but to others as well.
The fact is we are all, no matter where we live, surrounded constantly by stories, whether they are literal, oral or visual. In November I went to visit my brother in Ethiopia. He works for the UN. We were walking down the road and I saw a donkey hobbling under the weight of the wood it was carrying. I said to my brother it must be so hard to be a donkey in Ethiopia. He turned to me and said it's much harder to be a woman. And sure enough, when I looked more closely, behind the donkey was a woman carrying twice as much wood. Beside the woman was a man talking to the woman, carrying only his cellphone. This story is told to every girl, every boy, every man, every woman every day in Ethiopia. It is a benign story compared to the ones of genital mutilation in the countryside, but I think it's the "benign" story that tells us what is unapologetically codified within the culture.
As for the U.S. the benign story I'm really growing tired of is the "humorous" story of the blonde woman who is either injured or humiliated all in order to sell beer. Not funny. I am tired of these stories. I am angered by these stories. There are other stories far more wondrous — stories of women claiming and reclaiming power, stories of rage and resistance and indefatigable courage, and stories of women and some men — reaching across great divides and into the most treacherous places on Earth where turmoil reigns and violence against women is unchecked, taking the hands of those women, helping to lift them up and leading them toward safety and sanctuary and self-determination.
Those are the stories of V-Day.
I've come to understand through taking part in telling many stories of many women, but especially in these last six years telling the stories of The L word — I've come to understand that telling stories in and of itself is a radical act. It's an act that changes hearts and minds. Representing, proclaiming, truth telling, story telling progresses the culture. The right story, at the right time can move society forward, palpably, perceptibly and effectively. I've come to understand that while history may indeed be written by the victors we will make ourselves victorious by writing our own histories.
What I have realized since that fateful day Lisa Gay told me about her experience doing the "Vagina Monologues" is I may feel fine with my sexuality, my womanhood, my power, I may be one of the lucky two out of three women who has escaped rape. But, globally, I am the exception and the reality is I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY.
And I think to myself how can I be helpful? How can I help all those women, all you women to whom I am connected but will never know? As an actor I am part of the storytelling process — I can be part of the the stories that are told far and wide in cinemas, on television and on the Internet. And after meeting Eve Ensler I realized I can be part of V-Day.
V-Day is telling the stories in order to change the old story. V-Day is changing the old story by putting a better, necessary, irresistible story on the ground in places where that other story was utterly unbearable, untenable and destined to be overthrown. V-Day is rewriting the story of women.
I am proud to take part in bringing L to the V. And I am excited too to be taking part three weeks from now in V to the 10th where with Eve Ensler's support we (Ilene and I and some of our colleagues) will begin collecting the LGBT stories of the women of New Orleans — a first step in a new storytelling and performance project that will, we hope, bring forward more and more of the stories that represent us, move us, change us and ultimately connect us. I feel inspired and called to action by this V-Day movement, by this woman, these women, you women. Thank you for coming out tonight. Thank you for your generosity and for your activism. Thank you for sharing our L Word season finale with us in support of V-Day.
Rachel Shelley, Rose Rollins, Mia Kirshner, Katherine Moennig, Eve Ensler, Ilene Chaiken, Jennifer Beals and Daniela Sea
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221 Comments
The real Jennifer.....
Wow, I am blown away not only by JB's beauty, but by her heart. She steps outside of her world to come into ours. She has not gone all hollywood on us. She goes deep into issues that many would never even care about. She takes time from her own family and life to speak on issues and problems that the real world faces everyday. I am just amazed that she's not just another pretty face. She someone who really cares about others. I have so much respect for her. I am so happy that she speaks out on so many important issues. Thank you Jennifer for the wonderful acting,those big brown smokie eyse and great smile, but also for being the voice for so many. We all are so proud of you. Love you!!
Donna
I am totally impressed
Jennifer says it from the heart and that is what I love about her. Oh and thank God she is connected to all of us womyen out there and every where, I feel honoured and humbled by her disposition, I'd vote her for Presidency.
wow
Thank you Melanie, Pebbles, Susannah, L-litany and everyone else who are sharing their experiences and thoughts; it’s really mind blowing to read all this..
Can't wait to hear about V to the tenth.
--------------------------------
Reciprocity in love, until unity is built. Chiara Lubich R.I.P.
Red Tent at superlove
I live in new orleans and was considering going to this event, but I have a question about this story circle thing in which Jennifer and Ilene are participating. I was reading about it and it seems as if you have to participate in order to be a part of the story circle. I was kinda hoping I could just sit and listen. Is anyone familiar with this?
Jennifer Beals
Jennifer rules the world! Seriously. Thank you for this.
Eve Ensler - V to the 10th
Here's a video of Eve Ensler inviting one and all to New Orleans for the big 10th anniversary of V-Day on April 11 and 12. Go if you can!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BWVhEEozgSI&feature=related
Love and Light,
Melanie
New Orleans
And yes Miznoone...here at ourchart...have a busy week and was trying all out to get an airflight to New Orleans and convince a friend to go to V day...the line up for that day is amazing...includes not only Jennifer B but Jane Fonda and so many amazing actresses...tickets still available...for the V Monologues...and the weekends events look amazing...but the airline tickets are off the charts expensive...so I am searching away!
Taping V to the 10th?
Are there plans to tape all or part of V to the 10th? For all of us who are unable to get to NOLA for this event, it would be terrific to be able to join in. I'm particularly interested in The Vagina Monologues, of course, but the other stuff too.
What's more, I'd be happy to make a donation to a relevant charity (V-Day, LGBT orgs in NOLA) for the privilege of downloading/accessing the content.
Any thoughts?
Spirtual Evolution
"What I have realized since that fateful day Lisa Gay told me about her experience doing the "Vagina Monologues" is I may feel fine with my sexuality, my womanhood, my power, I may be one of the lucky two out of three women who has escaped rape. But, globally, I am the exception and the reality is I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY". JB
*******************************************************************
If I may be so bold I feel what Jennifer is touching on, and what people all over the world are also realizing in this incredible time of spiritual evolution, is that we live in a holographic universe where each part is contained in the whole and the whole is contained in each part.
This touches upon a new way of "seeing" each other because each of us has each other, and all others, inside us. Like Jennifer said "I will not be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY". This may sound figurative to some, but in our holographic universe it is literal. No one can be OKAY until everyone is OKAY. It goes directly to the saying of "We are one".
People often get so overwhelmed and feel hopeless by "how" to change the world because of all the huge obstacles we face. Because we live in a holographic world, it informs us that by changing our "thoughts", "beliefs", and as Jennifer so eloquently put it, "images and stories" of each other, this is how we change the world. A changed belief or image creates something new and translates to movement, to action.
So we don't have to go "out there" to change the world because "out there" is "inside" here. We can start to change the world right where we are, right where we are sitting, right now.
Anyway, I love these kind of topics evoked on OC. And I really love seeing Jennifer taking the opportunities availed to her to express her thoughts and watching how this expression is creating movement and change.
Great job JB and great job OC!!
Ty for this post. I totally
Ty for this post. I totally agree with what you said. Hopefully topics and awareness like this will help everyone to realise that change is not an impossibility and that over time anything is possible. "I will not be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY" is now my new mantra and it inspires me to keep going with the work I do no matter how horrific humanity is portrayed and hopefully we can reach a point where we are all okay. x
Beliefs Create Reality
Thanks Amanda2410.
The author Gregg Braden has a new book coming out in April called "The Spontaneous Healing Of Belief: Shattering The Paradigm Of False Limits" that talks about how our beliefs create our reality/world. I loved his last book "The Divine Matrix" and this one looks just as good or better.
In his latest newsletter Gregg B. says:
"We live in an interactive reality where we change the world around us by changing what happens inside of us while we're watching-our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
...To change our lives and relationships, heal our bodies and bring peace to our families and nations requires a simple yet precise shift in the way we use belief.
For those who accept what science has led us to believe for the last 300 years, even to consider that our inner experience can affect reality, is nothing short of heresy. The very idea blurs the safety zone that has traditionally separated science and spirituality-and us from our world. Rather than thinking of ourselves as passive victims in a place where, for example, things just "happen" for no apparent reason, such a consideration now places us squarely in the driver's seat of life.
In this position we find ourselves faced with undeniable evidence confirming that we are the architects of our reality. With this confirmation, we also find that we have the power to make disease obsolete and relegate war to a memory of our past. Suddenly, the key to catapult our greatest dreams into reality is within our reach. It all comes back to us. Where do we fit in the universe? What is it that we're supposed to be doing in life?"
*****************************************************************
And no I'm not Gregg Braden's publicist. Just a fan of his work.
Ty for the author. The stuff
Ty for the author. The stuff you have posted is really interesting i am definately going to get at least one of his books and give it a go. x
ok, da V-Sign,
bring it on. ;)
New! Teddy bear wanted?
-------------------------------
"God is Love"(1 John 4:16) Chiara Lubich R.I.P.
is Shane (Kate) On the Chart??
is Shane (Kate) On the Chart?? and if she is...under which name ??
Hello there
Yep. She is: http://www.ourchart.com/node/399
I bet she never checks her notes though :(
Kate ou Katherine Moennig i
Kate ou Katherine Moennig i think,if you don't find her, try to pick up her profile on the chart of some of the many many members who have her as friend,just have to (c)lick on the photo and you could ask to be linked with...
Keeping the ball rolling.....
"I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY."
J. Beals (2008)
Jennifer Beals: “…telling stories in and of itself is a radical act. It's an act that changes hearts and minds.” In a previous posting in this message stream, I offered testimony on how the L Word stories impacted me personally, absolutely changing my heart and mind. I feel compelled to include here that they also had an impact on me professionally.
My employer reissues our employee manual every two years. This week I was once again assigned the dreaded and tedious task of conducting research and rewriting the manual. (I can assure you that I'm not given this assignment because of my advanced intellect or great writing skills; rather, I am too low on the totem pole to refuse it or delegate it to anyone else!!!) Once I started my research, though, my whole outlook towards the assignment changed for the better.
Much of what needed to be incorporated in the new manual had to do with expanding the prohibitions against discriminatory practices based on "affectional or sexual orientation, domestic partnership status, civil union status, and gender identity or expression". (Obviously these are in addition to all the other existing prohibitions). In another "I Finally Get It" moment, I realized that this was important work after all, still tedious, but important for all those who experienced the degrading treatment that necessitated legislation to be enacted to protect their very being, important to all those who simply want to be themselves.
I want and very much need to hear the stories that come out of the "V to the 10th" project. I have much to learn.
HOOK UP SURVEY! WIN $50!
Hi All,
I'm writing my senior thesis about HOOKING UP and I need as many people as possible to fill out this survey. It take about 15 minutes! And at the end you'll be asked to enter your email address for a chance to win $50! This is legit. I got a research grant from my university just for this purpose!
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Please fill it out and pass it on to your friends!!
Thanks,
AS
Thank you
It is great to read about your contribution to womens issues. just to say that your influence goes much wider than the developed world. You also influence rural africa.I write from a deep rural village in south africa where I teach and you have touch my life more than you can imagine. Courage is the middle name of most women in my community. But freedom to express that you are gay is still vety limited. I am out to most of my friends but if it becomes known in the community I will probablt lose my job and be beaten. Whci is beside the point. It is wonderful to see strong women and gay women on tv but to see your influence go much wider than just a tv show.
Thank you Ilene, Jennifer and all he people who help to make this a better world.
We fight on and stay strong.
Thank you again
sarah4annah
God bless
Couldn't have said it better than CrabQ .. Peace to you and thank you for sharing.
--------------------------------
Reciprocity in love, until unity is built. Chiara Lubich R.I.P.
May God continue to....
May God continue to keep you in His tender care. May His grace and mercy shield you from any harm or danger. As Jennifer's character once said, "....I am your creation and I am proud!" Please know that there is someone praying for you oceans away, everyday. If I may, "I whisper to you in your silent meditation; I am that voice that you hear but don't recognize; my prayers quell your anxieties and give you peace of mind; my concern, are the warm winds that caress you when the chilled fear settles on your skin; my unconditional love envelopes your sincerity and assists you in your daily walk; my prayers for you are answered in your relentless pursuit of happiness in your home; in your mind; in your life; no longer do you exist when you love, you LIVE..." I'm just sayin'.....
Crab
Thank you Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
I want to thank you for your compassion, consciousness and your message. I was very touched and moved by your remarks.
I, too, am angered by these stories. When I moved to Canada, first thing that I did was to join several feminist networks: mailing lists, groups, and organizations. But, many failed to live up to my expectation. Only because my concerns and the issues that I thought needed to be addressed and discussed were different from theirs.
I feel outraged when I hear sad stories of women who have been oppressed, destroyed and humiliated in the name of tradition and religion. In many parts of the word, young girls come to realization that they are a criminal by nature, just because they are born a woman. In many theocratic countries, a woman is considered the root and cause of most social problems according to religious laws and women are responsible for men’s sins. In my home country, Iran, women are faced with sexual apartheid – they are constantly suppressed and treated as inferior.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world, especially west, has turned a blind eye on all these for a long time. US and its allies have no interest in women’s issues, unless their strategic and regional interests are a concern. For years, US supported Taliban who treated women less than cattle and denied the most basic civil rights of Afghan people. As soon as US interest in the region increased further and Taliban became a threat, all of a sudden, women’s situation in Afghanistan became a concern!! Unfortunately, we cannot rely on the Western governments to take a stand against women’s issue – it is up to us to do something. This kind of discrimination is totally unacceptable in 21th century and we have to do something about it.
Jennifer: I think you and your colleagues are in a great position to help women by raising awareness, speaking out, and advocating for change. I do not believe western model of liberalization is a solution to women’s issues around the world. We should let women to redefine their place within their culture and society. But, it is important to draw international attention to women’s issues and women’s rights movement through media, Internet, events and …
What you are doing is very important to so many and on many levels. Please keep up with the good work.
A.
Creating a Change.
You said something that I consider to be amazing "..we cannot rely on the Western governments to take a stand against women’s issue – it is up to us to do something."
It's important that people own their own change and not wait for someone else to 'liberate' them. That's whats amazing about sharing these stories, as a community we can own a change - we can facilitate one. And while we cannot change the worlds view on women, we can do something to make a change in the countries that we reside. After all, how can one even dream of changing the world until we can protect our own homes?
You said something else of interest to me In many theocratic countries, a woman is considered the root and cause of most social problems according to religious laws and women are responsible for men’s sins." It's interesting how women in this scenario actually have control - and men are weak and powerless. It's an odd dicotomy that they live.
Thank you
Very insightful and true.
--------------------------------
Reciprocity in love, until unity is built. Chiara Lubich R.I.P.
Changes
I don't know where to begin either. So may I start by saying that I totally agree to what "I Finally Get It" wrote in her post of March 26, 2008. Actually, I wasn't completely homo clueless when I started watching "The L Word" but I hadn't met many gay women by that time either. I have some gay (male) friends but still I knew very little about their battles except for what they were willing to share with me. I guess as a straight, white, open-minded woman, living a privileged life in "pretty", "safe", "little" Switzerland, you tend to take many things for granted. Watching this show has changed my point of view, has changed me.
Initially, the only reason why I even started watching this show was Jennifer Beals. I'm a fan of Jennifer since I have watched "Flashdance" for the very first time back in 1983. I'm a fan of her for all the reasons "Motaterz" already listed in her post of March 28, 2008 (you took the words right out of my mouth, thanks). The synopsis of the pilot in my TV magazine was quite compelling. While reading it, I said to myself: "If Jennifer agrees to play a lesbian character, it can't be anything but good otherwise she would never have accepted the role" and what we got to see these last five seasons was more than good, it was life altering in so many ways.
To quote Jennifer once more: "… And that's what good storytelling can do. It connects you not only to yourself but others as well. … I've come to understand that while history may indeed be written by the victors we will make ourselves victorious by writing our own histories." These are two remarkable statements, because we have to start with ourselves. Yes, we need progressive people like "Motaterz", who are pushing society to where it will eventually be but you cannot win big battles when people are not willing to move on, when the don’t see the aching need for a change.
The L Word was groundbreaking in many ways, e.g. the cast and crew being predominantly female and still being friends after all these years without eating their own. Let’s not forget the core couple, actually the most popular couple on this show – Bette and Tina. Two women who are more than 30 years old, which is already “old” in Hollywood, both being considered hot not only by fans their age but also by many young people who are not even 20 years old. I’m not surprised because experience and the confidence that comes along with age are so much more sexy and appealing than just a young, beautiful face. It’s like staring at a blank page, it’s boring.
By telling her stories Ilene not only made lesbians visible on screen, she also got many straight people to realize that gay life is not really different from straight life. I think one of the biggest flaws of humankind is fear, fear of the unknown, which is not rational at all. We are biased; instead of being open and curious we tend to condemn all those who are not alike, no matter if it's the color of the skin, religion, culture or sexuality. Why? What are we afraid of when there is so much to gain? Instead of judging strangers, we should try to get to know them and by doing this fears often vanish into thin air. How can you judge a gay person when you don’t know her or him? How can you hate someone who is a person of color when you have never talked to that person? Love is more powerful than hate and the more people believe in it, the sooner our society will change.
Education, an open mind, love and compassion are our most powerful weapons to fight abuse, intolerance and injustice. Educated people ask questions and they don't take things for granted. Jennifer actually mentions genital mutilation in her speech. It's gruesome but for those who still practice, it's a social necessity, they don’t actually see any wrong in it. I can strongly recommend the following two books in order to get more familiar with this topic: "Waris Dirie – Desert Flower" and "Waris Dirie – A letter to my mother". For those who do not know her: Waris Dirie, a former model from Somalia is now a special ambassador of the UN against female genital mutilation but she is also a victim of genital mutilation. When I had finished reading “Desert Flower” I could hardly sleep for days and every time, a black woman walks by now, I ask myself if she had to endure this atrocity and it makes me shiver.
It's only one act of violence against women among many but once you are aware of what's happening all over the world or even worse next door, you can help make a difference by not holding your tongue, by letting these women know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. They are not alone and to quote our very eloquent Jennifer once again: “… I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY.”
So Jennifer (and all the fabulous women working on these projects), if I can be of any help, please let me know.
V-Day
This blog really cheered me up too.. There is a production of the Vagina Monolouges every year at SUNY Oswego, and I saw it for the first time about three years ago. I've made it every year since. :) The stories are just plain raw, and you don't see much of that anymore..
P.S. I hate cliffhangers, lol.. But I can't wait for next season.
Within my soul an enormous illusion exists
Within my soul an enormous illusion exists; , the one to arrive to realise the dreams and to share them. Everything what one becomes in the life, part of an illusion. Most fascinating it arrives when an illusion becomes real. An illusion is transformed into individual satisfaction when its magic arrives at other people. Jenifer has caused that its magic arrives at other lives, has infected them of illusions and yearnings. Thank you very much by your illusion, to let see your talent to us. Thanks to all the equipment by its creativity. To all the list of L Word, to leave a light of hope in my life. Within my soul an enormous illusion exists, the one to arrive to realise the dreams and to share them. When moment arrives to start off, L Word was within my illusions, and if my glance returns to the past first thought that will come is the face of my love, that has accompanied to me it accompanies and me in the afternoons, to watch L Word. Because the love that accompanies to me, is accomplice of this yearning, is my strength and my to walk. Iliene, Thanks to cause that your dreams infect to us. Gaby
The passion by the dignifica art the soul.
La pasion por el arte dignifica el alma.
V day and the Storytelling
Does anyone know anymore about what Ilene and Jennifer are actually going to do at this event? They say in this post that they're going to New Orleans to gather the stories of the woman of New Orleans. They're on the schedule for appearing both days in the "red tent". Is this experience open to only people of New Orleans or to everyone who attends? We are thinking of making the trip to see the V Monalogues and were wondering if the L part of it is a workshop or something that can be open to us as an audience. Thanks to any of you who might know more.
Melanie, this is a wonderful
Melanie, this is a wonderful story, and a beautiful tribute to Jennifer.
I don’t have a similar story. I didn’t even know who Jennifer was until I saw the first episode of the first show, and that wasn’t til after Season 2 had begun. I was immediately captivated by this incredible woman who could completely convey any emotion with her face and her eyes, without a word. I believe the eyes ARE the windows to the soul and in Jennifer’s I see such depth of character, intelligence, humor, sensitivity. No trace of being false or a “celebrity”.
Since then I have of course seen her other work, interviews and appearances, and want to thank her deeply for what she brought especially to “A House Divided,” “Feast of All Saints,” “Devil in a Blue Dress,” and “Twilight of the Golds,” not only for the excellent portrayals of those whose stories she was telling, but also for the searing illustrations of vulnerability and the devastation of hatred on one’s soul. I want to thank her forever also for Bette Porter, for her lovely, educated, cultured, out and proud lesbian that is Bette, and for the depths of Bette’s love and fear, that we all can relate to.
I want to also let her know that I appreciate tremendously everything she does for us. She stands for us, with us, without fear or condescension. She is one of us, when others in the business can feel we are the kiss of death for careers. She stands for ALL women, for those whose voices are not heard and those who have no voice. She says, “I will NOT be OKAY until everyone ELSE is OKAY,” when too many others with lives of celebrity or power seem to be defined by self-absorption, conspicuous consumption and greed.
I didn’t have the life circumstances to be able to do a lot in regard to working for the betterment of others. I mostly was just trying to survive myself. I am at a place now though where I know that I, that anyone, that everyone can do something, somewhere, somehow,and I want to again give my thanks and love to Jennifer, for all that she does for all of us.
After reading Jennifer’s eloquent and moving remarks about L to the V and her experience in Ethiopia, these words just came to me, and I wanted to share them here.
Through our vaginas
We live. We see. We know
Through our vaginas
We welcome the caress, the kiss, the entrance of love, we become lovers
We soar to the skies.
Through our vaginas
We give life; we reaffirm the miracle of birth. We become mothers.
We know heaven.
Through our vaginas
We know the cruel thrust of the hand or penis or rusty knife, violating our bodies, our souls. We scream WHY
We know hell.
We know confusion. You’re JUST a girl. We bleed. We know shame.
Through our vaginas
We become only that, sold to the highest bidder as a commodity, a sexual object
We are born to be chattel, our backs bent to the load
We are forced to be the caretakers, the minders, the keepers of the world that disrespects us, that buys and sells us, that beats and rapes us, that oppresses us
Through our vaginas.
But how we are seen is not who we are
Though we are broken, we stand
Though we are forced to crawl, we walk
Though we are beaten, we have strength
Through our heads and our hearts and, yes our vaginas,
We know pride.
WE ARE WOMEN!
Hey Jennifer,
Thanks to you and Ilene for sharing your incredible remarks with us. Like so many others, I am deeply moved.
I want to comment on a portion of your talk where you say, "...the reality is I will not be OK until everyone else is OK." This is such a powerful statement. It reminds me of a quote I love and use often in my work. You may already be familiar with it:
"If you've come to help me, you're wasting your time. But if you've come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."
Lilla Watson, Australian Aboriginal Elder
To me, your words and her words are of the same essence. I've learned that being truly useful isn't about pitying or rescuing. It's about humility, love, empathy, and compassion. It's a deep recognition that we are all inseparable, all part of the same human condition. When one suffers, we all suffer. As you say, none of us is really OK until all of us are OK.
I am so excited about V to the 10th! And I'm so very grateful to Eve Ensler, you, Ilene, and the others who will be gathering the LGBT stories of the women of New Orleans. I am sure it will be an absolutely amazing experience...many of us will be there with you in spirit!
Thanks so much for all you are and do in the world.
Stacy
How to Begin
Hi there Jennifer,
I'm trying to think how to begin to tell you how much I love your remarks posted above and how much I love what you guys are setting out to do. I reacted to your remarks much as you responded to reading The Vagina Monologues. At first I laughed out loud -- at "'Uh huh,' I said" and at "I love my vagina, I'm fine with my vagina — we have a good relationship. I don't need to say 'vagina' 500 times to feel connected to my vagina." But by the end I find myself sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks and into my keyboard. I love that you guys are making OurChart real in the world; I love that you are connecting with the mighty Eve Ensler and V-Day; I love that you're starting in New Orleans.
Maybe the most appropriate way to begin to thank you for your celebration of storytelling is to tell you a story ...
I started college early as a BioChem/Math major. I soon discovered that I'm much more interested in questions of social justice than in "P" orbitals of methylene molecules, so I transfered to the history department where I almost instantly became enmeshed in the late 70s feminist movement. My parents were not thrilled. But it was a fascinating time to become a feminist because the movement was at its zenith even though it was becoming increasingly clear that the movement's centerpiece -- the ERA -- was going down to defeat. The map of the states that hadn't yet ratified the ERA is an almost exact overlay of the current "red" electoral college states - and none of those states ever budged in the last years.
It was then that I learned that being a Progressive means losing most battles. A "Progressive" by definition is ahead of the curve and pushing society to where it will eventually be. We lose lots of skirmishes along the way, but -- if we keep fighting -- we do eventually win the wars. So I took two years off to work for the beautiful but doomed ERA. And it was the best part of my education.
Then in June of 1982, the ERA ratification deadline passed and I was all set to pursue a career in academia. I had been accepted to the PhD program at UCLA to study US women's labor history. And because I was good at math, they had created a joint program for me at CalTech where I was going to get my MS in Social Science at the same time I was getting my MA at UCLA, so I could combine traditional labor history with econometrics and game theory modeling. I had basically signed away my 20s to commuting between Westwood and Pasadena and to having the very life sucked out of me.
But at the last minute I bailed and said, "But what I really want to do is play bluegrass guitar." (Which freakishly turned out to be a great career choice.) Needless to say, my parents were really not thrilled. But I was sure that I didn't want to spend my life just studying the world; I wanted to change the world. And I wanted to do that by changing hearts. And I was beginning to suspect that the best way to change hearts is through storytelling -- in my case, through music and theatre.
So in 1983 I had just escaped academia and was making my living as a musician. I had just taken my passion and made it happen when this blockbuster film came out with that very theme. I loved that movie. I loved the music; I think Irene Cara's theme song is brilliant. I loved how loud the music was. I, of course, loved the dancing and the incredible visual fireworks that were way ahead of MTV. And even though it's basically a Cinderella story, I really loved that it isn't the heroine v. a coterie of wicked sisters, but is instead a celebration of feminist friendship. And that movie not only portrays sisterhood as powerful, it also portrays the sisters themselves as powerful. I think that was the first movie that ever showed women working out with weights. Isn't that true? I can't remember ever seeing that before.
And I loved the Flashdance scene to which Ilene gave an L Word nod in an early episode this season. When Shane and Tina are working out, they're talking about Shane's girlfriends' crazy shenanigans, and I think it's Tina who says one of them even threw a rock through Shane's window. The line you delivered to explain why your character threw the rock through her boyfriend's window is probably my favorite Flashdance moment: "I did it because ... you pissed me off." I'm sure I laughed out loud at the time and said whatever the 1983 version of "Oh snap" was. My gaggle of feminist friends and I instantly adopted that line as one of our mottos whenever we encountered something that needed resisting or protesting. And still I will occasionally get a cryptic message from one of my activist friends that will only say, "I did it because they pissed me off." And I will instantly call back and ask with great glee, "What did you do!!??"
So I loved the message of that movie. But I also really loved the messenger. I loved it that you went back to university after filming. I loved the interviews you gave where you would answer the question, "Why did you go back to college?" by basically saying, "What a stupid question." (And even in the Fresh Air interview you and Ilene gave all those years later, it still seemed like Terry Gross couldn't quite grok why you would have gone back to college. It seemed to me like she had two mental stumbling blocks when it came to The L Word: 1. Can lesbians be as beautiful as the actors on the show ? -- which she did seem to finally accept and 2. Can a beautiful woman be incredibly smart? or maybe it was: Even if a beautiful woman is incredibly smart, why would she pursue higher learning rather than an early Hollywood career? Whatever her trip was, it was amazing and a little sad to me that Terry Gross didn't get why a life of the mind is of paramount importance. But I digress ...)
I don't clearly remember the stupid Flashdance controversies, but I remember loving that in interviews you would mention the woman by name who did the bulk of the dancing and that you took every opportunity to talk about your African American father. And I don't know if it's apocryphal or not, but legend had it that you turned down a lucrative Pepsi commercial because you don't drink Pepsi. And that you turned down Purple Rain because you were still in school. I remember thinking many times, "What a great kid!" (I considered myself quite the grownup by comparison because I was, after all, much more elderly than you being in my early 20s and having finished college, while you were a teenager and just starting college.) It was in 1983 that I sort of mentally passed the mantle to the new generation of post-ERA feminists who to me were personified by you. And with the hubris and presumptuousness probably only possible from someone in her early twenties, I was incredibly proud of you.
Over the years, there have been many many times I've sent a "Yay Jennifer!" your way. When you returned to movies with The Bride, for instance, legend had it that it was you who had pushed for the feminist take on that story. Because of the exigencies of life and of motherhood, I haven't really followed anyone's Hollywood career, but I have loved the amazing array of smart, strong, sensual female characters you've brought to life on screen. And I think every time you insist on a "no nudity" clause, you empower every woman on the planet by saying, "Yes I will take this job; yes I will bring the heat; and no I will not take off my bra." Right on.
So I've loved what you've done on screen, but I also want to thank you for something you didn't do. In your remarks above you say, "As for the U.S. the benign story I'm really growing tired of is the 'humorous' story of the blonde woman who is either injured or humiliated all in order to sell beer. Not funny. I am tired of these stories. I am angered by these stories."
A couple years ago I made the huge mistake of watching an episode of Dexter by myself. The rest of my family was out and about and I thought, "I'll check out what this show is like." The episode I saw detailed Dexter's first kill. His victim was a woman. She was a blonde woman, but not a beautiful beer-selling blonde. Rather, she was a German, heavy set, not-that-attractive (and maybe even a little dykey?) woman who the screenwriter apparently felt the audience would enjoy seeing being killed. And yes, she was evil and was slowly poisoning Dexter's father, but this murder scene was so egregiously awful and over the top -- he stripped her and covered her in plastic and then we actually see him stabbing her to death in an almost snuff porn glorified way. I can't tell you how horrified and abused I felt.
But then right after the murder scene, the episode ended and up came a promo spot for Dexter featuring ... the cast of The L Word. And it was so God awful, especially immediately following the female slaughter we had just witnessed. It was just a montage of individual L Word cast members laughing and saying, "He has killer looks." It was so unbelievably insulting - to the premise of The L Word (why are all these lesbian characters fawning over a man, especially a man who kills women?) but also to our intelligence -- Does OJ have "killer looks"? How about Scott Peterson or Ted Bundy? Does being handsome make butchering women okay? It was just horrendous.
And it wasn't Ilene's fault - I know she has to play ball with the network and was probably under contract to allow the cast to be in whatever promo the network would come up with. And it certainly wasn't the cast's fault. But the only thought I could muster while I was watching it (besides WTF?) was, "If Jennifer is in this, I will eat my hat." I don't know why you didn't participate in that travesty -- if it was out of protest or because of a scheduling conflict or what. But I do still have my hat. So thank you.
The last part of my story is that I came to The L Word late in the game -- I didn't watch Season One while it was first airing because I was totally caught up in the last presidential election. On election day in 2004, my family traveled to Las Vegas to walk precincts because Nevada was a potential swing state. The exit polls early in the day suggested that Kerry was going to win, but by the time we put the boys to bed it was clear that Ohio was going to go to Bush and that we had lost.
As we tucked our boys in for the night, our younger son asked us, "Why do we keep doing this if we always lose?" I answered him from my head with my "To be a Progressive means to lose most battles" speech. And I answered from my righteous Flashdance anger with my "We do it because they piss us off" speech. And I gave silent voice to my fear that although our boys were just 12 and 13 at the time, by the end of Bush's second term the NeoCons would like nothing better than to send them as cannon fodder into Iraq or Iran or Syria.
But all those answers rang hollow to me, and I was really messed up the following weeks. I'm used to losing political battles, but this one was killing me (as it was so many others.) I had received hundreds of emails titled "Why we lost" and "Ohio was stolen" and "What we do now" and "What we do better next time" etc. and I wasn't reading any of them. But in among all those emails, someone sent me your PowerUp speech. And I might not have read the message, but I really love the messenger, so I did read it. And it was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to be reminded that what motivates me is not anger or fear or some kind of uber-intellectual operating paradigm -- what ultimately motivates me is love. I printed out the speech and with tears streaming down my face, I went and read it to our boys (who rolled their eyes and thought, "Okay, Mom's off her nut.") And then I tacked it up above my computer where it still resides:
"To love, to love, to love -- even when you think the heart is exhausted by anger and fear and hurt and disappointment and the latest presidential election. To love. That is the larger task which connects us all. That is the narrative to which I hope we all can strive." - JB
As much as I've loved all your amazing work on screen, I've also loved all the work you've done since starting The L Word promoting LGBT rights and basic human rights. Thank you, bless you, right on. And now here you guys are setting out to tackle the enormity that is violence against all women and girls around the globe. It's an incredibly daunting task, but I think you have answered just right that first question of "How to begin?" -- Begin as a sisterhood, begin with storytelling, begin in New Orleans and always, always, always keep it grounded in love.
So that's my story of my JB fandom. Truth be told, I'm still incredibly proud of you, but I won't say that publicly since I'm older and wiser now and realize how obnoxious and presumptuous that is. So what I'll say is that I'm incredibly proud to share the planet with you. Thank you, Jennifer.
Love and Light,
Melanie
Other things to burn...
Burn: Alice's evil twin at the steak.
Burn: Tasha's fancy and unfancy lady vests.
Burn: Whoever forgot to setup the kid friendly pool fence for Angie.
Burn: Any bridges that lead to Talice Palace's demise.
Burn: Storylines that confuse, dismay, and cause viewers sporadic trips to the psych ward.
Burn: Writer's who refuses to include sexy lesbian dancelove scenes (i.e. Tibette 512).
Burn: The fingers of writers who do not obey these rules.
you bring the matches
i'll bring the cocktails (molatov that is). if they don't set up a fucking pool fence next season i'm gonna call child protective services.
Yea!.. you're back....
I was getting a major lesbian headache sifting through all these long comments. Geez, you'd think these women have never heard of writer's cramp.
I'm listing to Dru Hill on youtube and laughing at stupid posts. All and all - relaxing.
if wirter's
cramp were only like menstrual cramps. i'm listening to talib kweli- just to get by,just to get by......
Hey...I found his "just to get by video on youtube..."
It's really good I haven't listened to his music before...Maybe the L word will play his music next season - heheh - not even close. Unless Kit plays it at the planet. I can image how freaked out Alice would be...
they'll play talib kweli's music?
yeah, when Angie grows up and joins the new black panther party.
I don't think...
the little beret would fit on her gynormous hair. Plus Bette would have an "issues" fit.
if not the new black panther party
then the five percent nation. they're good at math and they don't wear berets.
Uhmmm..
Their mathematics looks a bit too complicated. I asked my girlfriend and she said I probably shouldn't send off for an application any time soon.
yeah
on second thought-that math is a bit...ummmm. odd.
Whew...
Lucky you. I have a feeling a lot of writer's for the L word say the same thing. One question. Do you write for a drama or comedy?
Me...owch. (Me...owch...that's my new "word" for today. So I'll be peppering all my annoying and non-annoying comments with it.)
OMG, totally awesome post!
That was great to read, thanks and right on! :) Peace, Jodie